Bored...
So here is the update. Lately I have been watching 3 other kids than my two, so all together its 5 kids lol. Yes i am attempting suicide the legal way :P. See they think your helping them out but in reality you are on a 6 month plan to terminate yourself *giggle*. Actually its helped me out alot. Though my pain level is up a little, I am losing weight and got more energy than i know what to do with. I have also been working on some house remodeling. The only problem lately is a little bit of depression. Missing my friends and needing some fun in my life. Kinda funny though none of my friends ever call me, guess i am not missed *i am kind of a bitch :P *. When i do get some down time, i find myself fighting off depression badly. So i do more i figure hey if you dont have time to think about it then no problem right :). Getting older and I guess this is how things happen. You get old, busy, and lonely. Thats ok i wont let it get me down. Although i think about things when i am smoking *my time* and i think hmmmm maybe i am just bored with life. I guess i can accept that :). I am good at ignoring loneliness. Which i didnt realize was happening till my daughter asked me why i dont talk to my best friend anymore. I thought and got a little down. Missing him sucks ass, remembering good times, promises, drunken nights exposing my true self behind the walls, etc..I guess listening to this song that reminds me of a sorta special time doesnt help lol. So to my friends who might read this I MISS YOU badly. Hope your lives are going good and whenever you remember call :).