(no subject)
We were watching television, and he stopped at "Indecent Proposal."
Peter: So basically, she's a high paid hooker.
Linds: Well, I don't know about all that. I've never seen the movie, but really now. It's on ONE NIGHT. And A MILLION fucking dollars! A hooker is more like committing to a lifestyle. I think this is a little different.
Peter: Now see, if you were my girlfriend, this is what I would say to you: Go ahead. If that's what you want to do, do it. But don't fucking think you're coming back.
Linds: (after a couple seconds of speechless-ness) Are you serious?! It's only ONE NIGHT.
Peter: Fuck that. Not interested.
Going to bed, I couldn't get what he said out of my head. (And I definitely did not mean for that to rhyme. Sorry.) I realized that he said what he said and felt how he felt because he would love her. (Not going where you think I'm going with this, so hold your horses.) And then I thought about Jason. And what he would say in that situation. I know that without any hesitation whatsoever, he'd have readily agreed to let me do it. That's not love. That's greed. And I realized that my entire relationship with him (Jason) was based on greed. I don't think we ever really, truly, loved each other. I think that we both took care of each other's loneliness and temporarily filled a void. There was no passion. No real emotion behind any of it. It was an act of complete selfishness. We never really 'fell in love,' and we stayed together...well...to avoid being alone.
I'd like to not do that again. I didn't lose out in the end. I didn't get my heart broken. I didn't cry myself to sleep. But I wasted a year of my life. And I know that bullshit line about not crying that its over, but smiling because it happened is supposed to be some kind of consolation, but seeing as I'm glad it's over, I don't think it's very applicable.
Peter: So basically, she's a high paid hooker.
Linds: Well, I don't know about all that. I've never seen the movie, but really now. It's on ONE NIGHT. And A MILLION fucking dollars! A hooker is more like committing to a lifestyle. I think this is a little different.
Peter: Now see, if you were my girlfriend, this is what I would say to you: Go ahead. If that's what you want to do, do it. But don't fucking think you're coming back.
Linds: (after a couple seconds of speechless-ness) Are you serious?! It's only ONE NIGHT.
Peter: Fuck that. Not interested.
Going to bed, I couldn't get what he said out of my head. (And I definitely did not mean for that to rhyme. Sorry.) I realized that he said what he said and felt how he felt because he would love her. (Not going where you think I'm going with this, so hold your horses.) And then I thought about Jason. And what he would say in that situation. I know that without any hesitation whatsoever, he'd have readily agreed to let me do it. That's not love. That's greed. And I realized that my entire relationship with him (Jason) was based on greed. I don't think we ever really, truly, loved each other. I think that we both took care of each other's loneliness and temporarily filled a void. There was no passion. No real emotion behind any of it. It was an act of complete selfishness. We never really 'fell in love,' and we stayed together...well...to avoid being alone.
I'd like to not do that again. I didn't lose out in the end. I didn't get my heart broken. I didn't cry myself to sleep. But I wasted a year of my life. And I know that bullshit line about not crying that its over, but smiling because it happened is supposed to be some kind of consolation, but seeing as I'm glad it's over, I don't think it's very applicable.