Ch. 9 - You only wish you could be like Jack of Fables

[originaljackass]

[Voice]

All the kids were packed at the beach yesterday. I took a stroll through there, just to be reminded that over half this place is under the age of seventeen. What a pain.

[Having spent a few centuries in a town full of immortals, teenagers and children were a pretty rare sight, save for those stuck at that age like Pinocchio and Ozma. So

Comments

[honorbeforeall]

[Yes, she knows you said 'job', shut up.]

Sparring.

[originaljackass]

Sparring? [He hadn't really considered that.]

[honorbeforeall]

It trains and tones the muscles and gives you worthy experience besides.

[originaljackass]

Sounds like a pain. I haven't had to train to fight in forever. [Like, centuries, anyway.]

[honorbeforeall]

Not all of us have the luxury of being fairytales, Mr Horner. [Which does bring to mind a question, and she tilts her head.] How do you normally stay in shape?

[originaljackass]

That's fable, not fairy tale. [Jeez, way to be sensitive.] It always came naturally before.

[honorbeforeall]

[Oho? But given her own issues at the moment...]

Has this only been a problem since your death?

[Blunt we are.]

[Suddenly Filtered]

[originaljackass]

No. I start putting on the pounds before I turned into a dragon.

[Concerned? You bet your ass he is.]

[Suddenly Filtered]

[honorbeforeall]

[...

...she wasn't expecting that. She had thought it might be a penalty, but...]

Your riches. Were they left up in the cave?

[Suddenly Filtered]

[originaljackass]

I looked. They're gone.

[So if he turns into a dragon for no damn reason, he's going to be pissed.]

[Suddenly Filtered]

[honorbeforeall]

Are you following exactly the same pattern?

[Suddenly Filtered]

[originaljackass]

No. It's slower. And I've still got a normal appetite.

[Suddenly Filtered]

[honorbeforeall]

[...hm.]

That at least points to two separate causes. It is possible this is merely the price you pay for dying.

[Suddenly Filtered]

[originaljackass]

What, so I die and my penalty is getting fat?

[Suddenly Filtered]

[honorbeforeall]

In a sense. [She only puts it forward because she's been thinking about it herself, recently.] There will be something flawed about you upon return from death. If you have noticed nothing else amiss, then perhaps your body merely cannot process food and metabolise the way it used to.

[Suddenly Filtered]

[originaljackass]

Oh yeah, I heard all about that. I gotta say, that sounds like one major pain in the ass. [And definitely means the working out is going to be necessary.] Still. Better than being a dragon.