(no subject)
i think crying is the worst thing in the world, but i do it so often that i've kind of taught myself to just shut up and stop the second i realize that i am covered in tears.
i just wish people would understand me every now and then.
i have one best friend. well, fine, i have three or four. but ones in another state. ones my boyfriend. and one isnt around as often as id like. so i only have one thats around, always, that i (usually) can count on. so when we fight, we really fight. only she doesnt know it. she fights, while i keep my mouth shut and tears pour down my face. because i'm afraid that if i say something, then our friendship will be ruined for good. and i can't afford to lose that, no matter what. but she doesn't know that either. and i have no way of explaining myself to her, because she just doesn't get me. it's really hard.
which is why i spend so much time with wyatt. he gets me. and when i'm mad at her, or more often- when shes mad at me, i talk to him about it. and i explain why i have to keep my friendship with her. and he sometimes doesn't get it, but he just listens. which is enough to keep me sane.
it's all kind of complicated. i just want to stop crying.
and i want her to start understanding me.
i just wish people would understand me every now and then.
i have one best friend. well, fine, i have three or four. but ones in another state. ones my boyfriend. and one isnt around as often as id like. so i only have one thats around, always, that i (usually) can count on. so when we fight, we really fight. only she doesnt know it. she fights, while i keep my mouth shut and tears pour down my face. because i'm afraid that if i say something, then our friendship will be ruined for good. and i can't afford to lose that, no matter what. but she doesn't know that either. and i have no way of explaining myself to her, because she just doesn't get me. it's really hard.
which is why i spend so much time with wyatt. he gets me. and when i'm mad at her, or more often- when shes mad at me, i talk to him about it. and i explain why i have to keep my friendship with her. and he sometimes doesn't get it, but he just listens. which is enough to keep me sane.
it's all kind of complicated. i just want to stop crying.
and i want her to start understanding me.