Love?

[orianalumidaios]

I couldn't hardly sleep any this morning or last night. people kept calling and waking me up! First it was Tiffy and she came over and slept w/ me for a while. Then it was mom checking on us then Garett called because he got back from a concert in New Orleans! When my b/f hung up with me I had a smile on my face and I was truly happy for once since my daddy disowned me. which will be a year on Aug. 2, Mat's birthday. He makes me feel safe and loved and no one has ever done that before. On top of that he accept me and understand me the way I am and I don't think I am worried at all that he would leave me or hurt me like all the others have. Trust me when I say my heart has been broken far to many times to count. I was stupid enough to trust people with it. People who never in a million years would have ever loved me back. I've had boyfriends that beat me, one who did that, tried to kill me, and rape me. My brother's don't know about him...My mother only found out about him recently because of the whole Jonathan situation. Which scared me through and through yesterday when Mat said that he had called me. I've had just such bad luck with boyfriends. Of course there was nothing wrong with Justin but I see him more as another protective friend/brother and nothing else. I guess what I am trying to say is that I'm starting to fall hard for him. That both scares and excites me.

:Count down 2 18: 24 DAYZ!!!

Orio