ahh..
well.. i don't exactly know how to describe myself right now really..
things are coasting right now. i'm not sure if thats a good or bad thing. went out to two pretty big parties, had a good time, got messed up both times but i haven't felt any effects from it despite my best efforts. its been cool though. i still wish i could have some clarity on personal things but i think thats just me trying to rush everything.. i just think if i could get some alone time with certain people i could figure out my standing and put my brain in gear.. but things don't always turn out that easy so..
it feels so strange not having immediate things to worry about.. i feel so lost in everything.. i want to have some sort of relationship to ground me and give me a reason to feel really good.. and i think it is possible if i can just get everything straight. i'm thinking about converting my basement into a recording area but it will be hard on my own because of the money needed.. but if i get some new connections i can maybe get a little assistance in that area.. but we'll see what happens.. there are so many things i want but i only have so much to get it with, and i'll just have to decide what path i'm going to take..
we'll see where i'm at in a couple days.. i feel so intense but things if i stop and think about them, so i try to keep myself active and to not give me a chance to use my brain. all i know is, things need to change in some way because my mind is all backwards and i need someone with me to help me out.. and for me to help out.. we'll see.. we'll see..
things are coasting right now. i'm not sure if thats a good or bad thing. went out to two pretty big parties, had a good time, got messed up both times but i haven't felt any effects from it despite my best efforts. its been cool though. i still wish i could have some clarity on personal things but i think thats just me trying to rush everything.. i just think if i could get some alone time with certain people i could figure out my standing and put my brain in gear.. but things don't always turn out that easy so..
it feels so strange not having immediate things to worry about.. i feel so lost in everything.. i want to have some sort of relationship to ground me and give me a reason to feel really good.. and i think it is possible if i can just get everything straight. i'm thinking about converting my basement into a recording area but it will be hard on my own because of the money needed.. but if i get some new connections i can maybe get a little assistance in that area.. but we'll see what happens.. there are so many things i want but i only have so much to get it with, and i'll just have to decide what path i'm going to take..
we'll see where i'm at in a couple days.. i feel so intense but things if i stop and think about them, so i try to keep myself active and to not give me a chance to use my brain. all i know is, things need to change in some way because my mind is all backwards and i need someone with me to help me out.. and for me to help out.. we'll see.. we'll see..