it sounds to me like you are already in the mindset of trying to gain knowledge from this, trying to evolve and better yourself from the experience, and i encourage you to do that more and more. even if you don't thank yourself right now, you will thank yourself later. endeavors that don't "work out" in our minds are all done in vain if we do not better from them. i know any sufferings i have endured in the name of love in the past has only made me more ready for and more knowledgable of the kind of love i deserve and want to give to others.
it seems to me you are gaining a deeper understanding of love now. of new ways to handle love and those you love. and thats really, really good.
im sorry you hurt.
lets have a drink when i am in town for christmas and new years. we can actually talk this time. ill get drunk and make an ass out of myself for your amusement. :)
It would be nice to think that I am in such a mindset, but the truth is I am very far from there right now. What seems more right for me right now is complete and total self destruction. I'm in no mood to rebuild myself or learn a lesson, only destroy everything I've built of myself. I have already begun.
Maybe after a time I will evolve and better myself from this, but that day is not today.
i guess i meant under the surface, where you can't feel right now. but i see it. its happening.
self destruction is a vital part. and though its all because of hurt, its kinda of fun in a way not appreciated by most. i recommend going on a drinking binge and doing some weird shit. you gotta go get crazy a little bit. ;)
destruction is a beautiful part of life. i say have at it!
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it seems to me you are gaining a deeper understanding of love now. of new ways to handle love and those you love. and thats really, really good.
im sorry you hurt.
lets have a drink when i am in town for christmas and new years. we can actually talk this time. ill get drunk and make an ass out of myself for your amusement. :)
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Maybe after a time I will evolve and better myself from this, but that day is not today.
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self destruction is a vital part. and though its all because of hurt, its kinda of fun in a way not appreciated by most. i recommend going on a drinking binge and doing some weird shit. you gotta go get crazy a little bit. ;)
destruction is a beautiful part of life. i say have at it!
Reply
Nothing particularly clever to say here though. We'll talk when I am back in town.
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