Suggestions needed for KH fic
I've been working on a KH fic for a while now, but I slacked off took a break to do some RPing, but after coming back and seeing it cold I realized that I don't know WTF I'm doing.
Fandom: Kingdom Hearts with FF crossover characters (mostly VII, especially the part I'm having trouble with)
Pairing: Axel/Roxas and Elena/Reno/Rude are most relevant to this part
Rating: R-ish.
Purpose: Asking for suggestions
Warnings: No sex in this part, but earlier chapters have it
Possible spoilers: It's an highschool AU, so no.
The original fic is here, if you're down with reading 30,000 or so words, but here's the situation in a can:
Sora is leading a double life. He's a good boy as Sora (while dating Kairi) and a bad boy as Roxas (while in a sort-of-ish relationship with Axel). Stuff happens.
While this is going on, Sephiroth has taken over Shinra Bank, which is a normal bank on the surface but is basically a loan sharking business/gambling ring underneath. He's collecting on all the debts that the previous owner racked up with customers.
Right now Xigbar, who works for Sephiroth (but is new to the job) is going to collect money from Elena. I skirted around it in earlier chapters, but this chapter is the big reveal where you find out that Elena is Axel's mom, Reno is his dad and Elena used to work for Shinra (Reno still does, they have split up).
The person who really owes money to Shinra is Axel - for reasons that haven't been revealed yet, but essentially he had to pay for someone's hospital bills about a year prior. He hasn't paid at all and it's racked up a mountain of interest.
So this is where I'm getting garbled.
1) Why the hell would Xigbar go to Axel's mom to collect rather than hassle Axel? The problem is that at the end of the last chapter, I had Tseng say, "Be careful of this one, she can take care of herself" (or something along those lines), referring to Elena, so I don't want to ret-con it. I thought maybe Xigbar could go to Axel's house looking for Axel but instead run into Elena, but would a loan shark even collect at home? Maybe since Axel doesn't have a dime Tseng (who but Xigbar on the assignment in the first place) figured Elena would be a better bet? None of it sounds logical to me.
2) Xigbar is new to 'The Turks' and the entire setup is a test for him put by Sephiroth. If he fails, it's off with his head, and I really don't want to kill anyone yet. So he has to get at least some dough to bring back to the boss. But I can't see Elena doing anything but kicking his ass, and Axel has no money anyway.
3) Why didn't Axel just get a damn job and repay the money? This is the point that's killing me the most.
Axel in this fic is mostly a partygoing badboy who isn't too fond of his mother (he treats her rather badly) but has a soft spot for his little sisters, Relm and Eiko. His best friend is Larxene, he's falling in love with Roxas (though Roxas is just in it for the sex), but is not a social creature and typically avoids all forms of responsibility. He owes money to Shinra Bank because Marluxia bullied/forced him into paying Namine's hospital bills when she attempted suicide (she did so after Axel dumped her), which were costly due to medical complications (Namine's not a very healthy girl).
4) If Xigbar tries to get money from Elena and fails (Elena could give him some money, but she wouldn't be able to cover everything, and she can barely make ends meet as it is as a single mother of three kids), and so instead kidnaps Roxas for ransom for Axel... is that the lamest plot device ever, or should I just think of something else? It honestly sounds like something out of a soap opera to me.
Ugh, it's just one big, horrible mess. Help? Please? With cherries?
Fandom: Kingdom Hearts with FF crossover characters (mostly VII, especially the part I'm having trouble with)
Pairing: Axel/Roxas and Elena/Reno/Rude are most relevant to this part
Rating: R-ish.
Purpose: Asking for suggestions
Warnings: No sex in this part, but earlier chapters have it
Possible spoilers: It's an highschool AU, so no.
The original fic is here, if you're down with reading 30,000 or so words, but here's the situation in a can:
Sora is leading a double life. He's a good boy as Sora (while dating Kairi) and a bad boy as Roxas (while in a sort-of-ish relationship with Axel). Stuff happens.
While this is going on, Sephiroth has taken over Shinra Bank, which is a normal bank on the surface but is basically a loan sharking business/gambling ring underneath. He's collecting on all the debts that the previous owner racked up with customers.
Right now Xigbar, who works for Sephiroth (but is new to the job) is going to collect money from Elena. I skirted around it in earlier chapters, but this chapter is the big reveal where you find out that Elena is Axel's mom, Reno is his dad and Elena used to work for Shinra (Reno still does, they have split up).
The person who really owes money to Shinra is Axel - for reasons that haven't been revealed yet, but essentially he had to pay for someone's hospital bills about a year prior. He hasn't paid at all and it's racked up a mountain of interest.
So this is where I'm getting garbled.
1) Why the hell would Xigbar go to Axel's mom to collect rather than hassle Axel? The problem is that at the end of the last chapter, I had Tseng say, "Be careful of this one, she can take care of herself" (or something along those lines), referring to Elena, so I don't want to ret-con it. I thought maybe Xigbar could go to Axel's house looking for Axel but instead run into Elena, but would a loan shark even collect at home? Maybe since Axel doesn't have a dime Tseng (who but Xigbar on the assignment in the first place) figured Elena would be a better bet? None of it sounds logical to me.
2) Xigbar is new to 'The Turks' and the entire setup is a test for him put by Sephiroth. If he fails, it's off with his head, and I really don't want to kill anyone yet. So he has to get at least some dough to bring back to the boss. But I can't see Elena doing anything but kicking his ass, and Axel has no money anyway.
3) Why didn't Axel just get a damn job and repay the money? This is the point that's killing me the most.
Axel in this fic is mostly a partygoing badboy who isn't too fond of his mother (he treats her rather badly) but has a soft spot for his little sisters, Relm and Eiko. His best friend is Larxene, he's falling in love with Roxas (though Roxas is just in it for the sex), but is not a social creature and typically avoids all forms of responsibility. He owes money to Shinra Bank because Marluxia bullied/forced him into paying Namine's hospital bills when she attempted suicide (she did so after Axel dumped her), which were costly due to medical complications (Namine's not a very healthy girl).
4) If Xigbar tries to get money from Elena and fails (Elena could give him some money, but she wouldn't be able to cover everything, and she can barely make ends meet as it is as a single mother of three kids), and so instead kidnaps Roxas for ransom for Axel... is that the lamest plot device ever, or should I just think of something else? It honestly sounds like something out of a soap opera to me.
Ugh, it's just one big, horrible mess. Help? Please? With cherries?