ENTRY #2 Walk Me Through Memory Lane
FIC TITLE: Walk Me Through Memory Lane
RATING: R
SUMMARY: We leave memories in things we own, the places we see and the people we love. Satoshi and Sho are reminded of who they are to each other through these memories.
Warning: Genderswitch!Sho
Word Count: 6201
Memories from a Yearbook
Sometimes, when one isn’t looking, one finds amazing things.
Sho was doing what she usually does on a fine Saturday morning when she has the day off - researching for work at her study desk. It isn't very often that she would have a leisurely afternoon. Not when she would rather be at work, doing overtime with her fellow colleagues who made up most of her social life. Unfortunately for her, the building was being fumigated so Sho, was unable to go to work on her day off.
As she typed away, her eyes wandered at her own study desk as she smiled quietly to herself. Ahh, the feeling of being home in her own space. How long has it been since she was able to have this kind of day to herself? She was home alone with nothing else to bother her for the day. She had music blasting from her laptop - Black Eyed Peas were on and what do you know - I gotta feeling wooohooo that tonight's gonna be a good good night. How appropriate.
Now, she just needed to get her study desk in some sort of order before she started on whatever it was that she intended to do. Sho was usually an insanely meticulous freak when it came to her space but when she couldn't be bothered, she lets it past. At current times, her desk was some sort of organised chaos. There were books piled up on top of each other, in a very specific order. There were pens in all types of colour to her left, as well as a water tumbler just in case she was thirsty. On her left was a scientific calculator from her high school days and a whole lot more of papers that she needed to eventually file away. She knew where everything was, because it always ended up in the same place.
Paperclips and corkboard pins belonged in her drawer, where it sat for years on end, in a tiny circular compartmentalised container. As she reached out for it, she noticed something else in the drawer. For some reason, her Senior Year High School yearbook was in that particular drawer, not that she remembered placing it there in the first place.
So many memories were in this year book. She remembered that year so well. It was so much fun. She was involved in so many school activities. She had so many friends. Though exams were hard and the prospect of leaving the comforts of high school was daunting, the year was just wonderfully filled with so many pleasant memories. The pictures in the book and the messages her friends had left her filled her with such nostalgia.
As she continued flipping through the pages, two pieces of loose paper came out. They were white A4 sized sheets that clearly did not belong with the book which was slightly larger in size and better quality. Sho sighed as she traced the paper with her fingers. Oh the significance of the papers.
One was a handwritten letter whilst the other was a portrait of her back in the day.
Both came from a very special person in her life.
His name was Satoshi.
As she continued to re-read the letter that she had once read before (probably when she received it), memories came back as to how they met in the first place. Satoshi was a friend of her high school boyfriend then. She was introduced into his group of friends and somehow she got along with pretty much most of them. But Satoshi was different. Satoshi was the quiet artist who was usually too shy to say anything to any girl back then but with Sho, he was very different. He would often jab her sides with a neatly folded chip packet in the shape of a triangle and she would often slap him by the arm to tell him to bugger off. Sho was also quite a lot chubbier back then and Satoshi reminded her of that rather constantly. Man, he was such a dick back then.
It was strange to think how they really got to know each other. Memory tells her it was from the good old days of MSN Messenger. They also had a few classes together. They had many things in common. They both loved graphic novels, animated cartoons and games. That was already more than enough common grounds to work on but of course, hanging out on a daily basis at school also help the friendship move along. It helped that they were both relatively easy going people.
Sho remembered how she tried so very hard to get him to sign her yearbook but he refused to do it. She also remembered how annoyed she was at him at that point of time because he didn’t give a reason why but every time she asked, he would make an excuse. Satoshi was stubborn like that. More often than none, he was more than obliging to do things for his friends with a little bribe and a bit of a coax but when he puts his foot down; he would not budge even if it was to save his life.
“You’re really not going to sign my yearbook?”
“Nope”
“Why not?
“Because I don’t want to?”
“You are such a dick”
“You just notice this now? You’ve known me for two years!”
It really wasn’t until the very last day of high school that she found out why Satoshi didn’t sign her yearbook. They were at the end of the graduation ceremony when he pulled her aside, gave her a hug and gave her a scroll. She recalled then how she first reacted to the letter and the sketch of her. The letter itself was sweet, full of very sincere words as to how grateful he was to have met her and gotten to know her. The sketch was beautifully done. Every bit of her was drawn to an exact scale. She didn’t realise how important she was to him until that point of time. She was touched that he thought of her that way.
With a fond smile on her face, Sho slid the two pieces of paper back into the yearbook as she placed the book back into her drawer.
How many years has it been since then? Things were very much different now. If only she knew what an important role Satoshi would play in her life, she wondered if she would have acted differently back then.
The bittersweet taste of chocolate
When Satoshi's feeling a bit down or a tad bit stressed from work, he turns to one very solid thing.
Chocolates.
He loved chocolates.
To him, there was nothing more delicious than chocolate. It could be milk chocolate, strawberry chocolate, peppermint chocolate or ooh even better yet, white chocolate!
He just loved chocolates. It always made him feel better about anything and everything.
As he looked around the convenient store to browse the selection, he was reminded of the one brand of chocolate that he would never find here, or in the country. The taste of that particular brand was unforgettable because there was just so many memories attached to it.
Coming to think about it, that was the only time where chocolate didn’t make him feel any better. It was something that he didn’t like thinking about. Satoshi was one of those people who preferred to suppress memories and forget that anything bad had ever happened. Still, this was one of those things that came up to haunt him every now and then.
It was his first relationship. It was a girl that he had crushed on for four years and on the night of Boxing Day, in his house where all of his friends were hanging out for the night, she finally noticed him. As much as his heart soared that night, he also knew that there was going to be a lot of problems dating this particular girl especially since she just broke up with a mutual friend just two weeks prior.
Satoshi was warned left, right and centre about this particular girl. It also wasn’t like he didn’t know about her history but he couldn’t help himself. She was the sweetest thing to walk the earth and after years of quietly crushing on her, she finally turned around and wanted him to be her boyfriend. Satoshi ate that up right away. How could he not? She was everything that he had ever wanted.
Unfortunately, happiness didn’t last long. The relationship pretty much ended before it started. To top it all off, the girl of his dreams didn’t just break his heart with lies, she moved on pretty quickly to another person whilst she was still supposedly with him.
Satoshi didn’t know then how to react to break ups. It was as if his heart had been torn apart and stomped on several times. Thankfully though, he had good friends. Most of his male buddies came by to see how he was doing and fed him a lot of manly advice. It wasn’t really until later on that he found out that the boys came over because Sho had asked them to.
Sho was an extremely good friend by then. They had grown even closer because they spent a lot of time together. She went through a very difficult year with academics at university and her boyfriend that year, and Satoshi played the role of her confidante. He could barely remember how many times she would call or text him in tears. It got so bad that he found himself getting so angry at his friend (who was her boyfriend) that he punched him on her behalf. He supposed it was because he truly did hate dealing with tears.
This time round though, she repaid the favour by making sure that his friends were around to give him the support he needed because she wasn’t able to get there immediately to comfort him. The very next day though, she was at his house with a few bars of chocolates. Satoshi cried. He didn’t like admitting it but he cried on his bed as Sho sat by his side and held his hand. She also forced chocolate on him that day and for the first time ever in his life, Satoshi could taste the true bitterness in the chocolate despite it being sweet.
“It’s ok, you’ll get through this. I am here for you”
Even after she went home that night, she still called him just to keep him company. Somehow or rather, she also managed to talk him into going to the beach to calm his mind and he did just that. He remembered how she walked with him through conversations on the phone. He recalled the taste of the bittersweet chocolate when he took a bite from it, just as she had asked him to do. The thing that he remembered the most was how she told him that was how it felt for her too and how she wished that she could have been the one to bear the pain for him.
From then on, every time he bought chocolate, it was always either overly flavoured or extra sweet. When he finally made up his mind, there was a pack of green tea flavoured chocolate in his hand.
Never again did Satoshi wanted to taste the true taste of chocolate.
Leaving only footprints at the beach
On occasion, Sho would drive by a certain beach and sigh. It wasn't often that she would drive past this particular beach since she lived quiet a far bit away. Tonight though, she just happened to drive past after leaving a friend's house. The calm and clear night sky called out to her to visit that special place.
The beach had always been an important place for Sho. It was a peaceful place for her. The sound of the crashing waves and the scent of salted sea water always calmed her down. Every time she was angry or upset, she would come running to the beach. She didn’t live near the beach but Satoshi did. So whenever she needed a friend to accompany her as she lashed out on the world, Satoshi would gladly tag along to the beach too because like her, he loved it just as much.
It was also here that both Sho and Satoshi shared a lot about their hopes and dreams.
Strange to think that a guy and girl could have such a pure friendship where they hardly ever think about each other as more than just that. They had both gone through relationships with different people. Despite that though, they both cared very deeply for each other. Many people wondered if they were dating since they were that close to each other. He was always by her side and she always had her hands linked around his arm. It was hard to describe what feelings they had for each other. They were friends but how they acted around each other was often one step above that.
So much so that on one very random night, whilst they were both at the beach, just chatting like normal, she suggested they have a marriage pact. He agreed.
“If we’re both not married by the time we turn 30, we’re getting married”
“Deal”
The one time that stood out the most to her was when they were talking about their future plans. They were both unemployed at that point of time. She was still in university, trying very desperately to finish up her degree after a few academic blunders. He had just graduated from graphics school but the market was harsh, nobody was interested in hiring a fresh graduate. Things were looking pretty grim for the both of them but they didn’t care. They were both relatively optimistic and young. Sho was always the one encouraging Satoshi to try out new things and explore his horizon though she knew that he liked being comfortable.
"Did you ever think about leaving this place?"
"What do you mean?"
"You've spent 2 years trying to look for a job here and nothing"
"So?"
"Perhaps, there are more opportunities somewhere else?"
"But surely there are opportunities here too"
So when Satoshi suddenly announced one day via text at 3am that he had booked a one way ticket out of the country to explore his potential, Sho burst into tears and demanded he see her immediately the next day to explain himself. He did and she cried even more.
Within a week of that text, Satoshi left the country.
It’s not like we’ll never see each other again.
Sho headed to the beach then, like she usually did but she had never felt so empty in her life.
“Yeah, but you’re so far away now, Satoshi. Who is going to accompany me to the beach now?”
As Sho looked up the sky and saw the aeroplane fly above her head, she continued to sob on her own not knowing that Satoshi did the exact same thing when he read the letter she wrote for him the night he flew out of the country.
You will always be my one and only.
Nights at the hotel
It wasn't very often that Satoshi would come to this part of town but when he does, he would always past by a certain hotel which makes him grin and smile like an idiot. No, it wasn't like anything dirty happened but let's just say that particular hotel was where everything changed for him.
Though he was in a different country, Sho never stopped communicating with him. Unlike most of his other friends who tried relatively hard for the first few months, then disappeared from his life, Sho was the only persistent one. She would email her life story almost every day and he would try as far as he could to reply but he could never catch up with her long essays. He preferred short sentences. Sometimes, a few words were more than enough and before long, Sho caught on to the short replies too. Thank God. That woman could write an essay when all she needed to say was 'Good Morning' or 'Good Night'.
Sometimes, when they were both free, they would get on Skype to update each other on their respective lives. They were both working now, despite the fact that they were in very different countries. She had finally graduated in her field of work and last he heard, she was still dating some guy who he never really got to know.
He liked that Sho would keep him in the loop about everyone else and though he could really care less about them, he was just happy that she kept him company (even if it was online). It really was as if they were just next to each other. They never ran out of things to tell each other. Strange considering how far apart they were and how much they have both grown separately from each other.
Of course, when Sho told him that she was finally coming over to visit him, he was super excited. He didn’t have much annual leave but he would still see her pretty much every day because there was no way he would not spend every available moment with her when she was physically near him. He pretty much ended up staying with her in the hotel anyway. They slept together on the queen size bed every night that she was there but nothing sexual happened between them because of two things, he was too scared to make the move and she was usually dead asleep by the time the lights went out.
Truthfully, Satoshi had been harbouring feelings for Sho for a while now. She didn’t know. Or at least, he thinks she doesn’t. She was definitely different from all the other girls that he knew in his life and not exactly the type that he would have usually gone for but she knew him for what he was. He knew that nothing was ever going to come out of it. He was here and she was living somewhere else about 9000 kilometres away. There was no way anything could happen as long as he just didn’t say anything about it. It was unfair for both of them if he ever told her how he felt.
But when she was finally with him, actions spoke much louder than words. It was just natural for him to put his arm around her just as it was natural for her to slip her hand around his arm. Since it was cold and Sho had forgotten to bring her gloves one day, Satoshi just took her hand and placed it in his pockets while he held it to keep her fingers warm. Sho just leaned in to him. Even their habits and behaviours were so similar. Whilst they were eating corn, Sho squealed when she saw how he was picking the kernels one by one rather than just eating it all at one go. Apparently, it was something that she did too.
Satoshi couldn’t deny that when Sho was with him, he felt complete. She always knew what he needed and what he wanted. Though he didn’t understand why she would spend a truckload of money on a small bag that could barely fit even her wallet in it, or how she would walk into every single Hello Kitty store in sight. Then, he thought about how she was willing to accompany him to art exhibitions when she knew nothing about them. For the whole two weeks that she was with him, whenever he returned to her from work, it felt like he was returning to a home. She would always have dinner ready for him and it was great because she always picked something ridiculously delicious. Sho always welcomed him home with open arms and a warm smile. Before he knew it, she had already become his home.
Just as it came to the last night before she left, they were both in bed together under the covers just talking about nonsense. They did that a lot. Somehow, she would always find something to talk about and he would keep himself awake just to amuse her. She giggled a lot as she scooted nearer to him. Sho didn’t like cuddling but he did and every now and then, Sho would let him cuddle her. That night was clearly his lucky night and apparently about to get luckier.
Then, out of nowhere, she leaned over and planted a very quick yet firm kiss on his mouth. There was a moment of shock as his brain tried to register what had just happened. It was dark but he could still see her outline very clearly. There she was, in bed with him without a bra on as she slept in a very loose t-shirt and ridiculously short shorts.
“You kissed me”
“Yes, I did”
“You kissed me”
This time, he pounced on her, both of his hands were by her side as he rolled on top of her and kissed her. She didn’t push him away, instead, she welcomed him with an open mouth. It had been a really long time since he had been with anyone so he was a bit concerned that he may have been a bit sloppy with his mouth but the noises that she was making told him otherwise. The more they kissed, the more their bodies began to move with each other.
Satoshi had never held any woman before. He's hugged girls before but never really held one in his arms as he did Sho. There was definitely something different about being this close to a woman. Sho was so soft. She had curves starting from where her breasts formed down to her waist and way back out to her hips. His hands were all over it as if he was touching and forming some form of art sculpture. Under his hands was definitely a woman.
Within moments, he was as hard as a rock and his body was telling him that he needed some sort of release. As he pulled away, they were both panting hard. His heart was beating at a thousand miles an hour and the hormones in his body were travelling southwards which just as much speed but he couldn't just force himself on her. She meant much more than that to him.
“Tell me what you want me to do”
She looked confused as if she wasn’t sure what had just come over the both of them. Even in the dark, he could see how glassy her eyes were as if she was about to cry. Satoshi didn’t deal well with tears, it was his number one enemy. Did he hurt her in some way? Why was she about to cry?
“I’m flying out in 4 hours, Satoshi. I can’t do this with you now, knowing that I am about to leave you for God knows how long”
Damn the woman and her bloody common freaking sense, his body raged. She touched his face and brought it down to hers as their lips met once more. As much as Satoshi wanted to just use his somewhat awkward but probably still possible sexual prowess on her to convince her otherwise, he knew that he was fighting a losing battle. He couldn't do it even if he wanted to. This was Sho, after all. He would be damned before being the person to make her cry those damn tears.
“If we do this, Satoshi, my heart is going to break when I leave you in a few hours. I am so sorry”
His head fell in defeat. Sho was right. They didn’t know when they were going to meet next. It wasn’t like he had a condom. If they had gone all the way, God knows what the consequences would have been. Ok, so the worst that would happen was Sho would be pregnant and it wouldn't be a bad thing because Satoshi was ready for her to be with him forever anyway. Wishful thinking on Satoshi's behalf of course.
Sho kissed the side of his face and pulled away, leaving Satoshi even more lost than he was before. How could she have that much sense and practicality? Did she know how this whole entire ordeal even make him feel? His heart was beating so fast he was sure he would have won some sort of world record. Then, she took his hand and placed it right above her heart.
"You cannot imagine how much I want to continue, Satoshi"
He knew that he was very much defeated then. He closed his eyes, brought her hand to his lips and kissed it with an apology. She had such a sweet smile on her face as she used her fingers to touch the sides of his face.
Satoshi dragged himself out of bed and into the bathroom to sort himself out. It didn’t really take long considering the fact that Sho was in bed with not much left to his imagination. When he was done, he wrapped himself in the blanket and tried really hard not to think about the woman that was in bed with him. Sho didn’t make it difficult for him either since she kept to her side the whole entire night.
The next day, when Sho flew out, she sent him a text that gave him so much hope.
Thank you for the past 14 days.
You were everything that I needed. Will see you very soon.
Love, Sho.
Until today, whenever he walked past that particular place, his lips would just curve into a smile without him even noticing.
Why wouldn't he?
Heavy duty delivery packages
"Sho, you've got a package!"
As she walked into her room, the package sat neatly on her bed. Strange, she wasn't expecting anything at all. She didn't recall purchasing anything online at all for the past month. Then, she looked at the return address and her curiosity was piqued. It came from Satoshi. She began to strip the packaging very carefully as she wondered what he sent.
After her last trip to visit him, they talked about what everything meant. It was sort of agreed over a series of emails and one very long Skype session that they wanted to be together. What followed was a mature conversation between two people as to what they expected and what they were willing to give. Still, Sho was hesitant despite being the person who initiated everything. Satoshi gave her every reason to say yes and none to say no but her head was the one that was stopping her from agreeing immediately. She was far too aware of the odds that were against the both of them.
Being in a long distance relationship was hard. The fact that it was difficult for them to be physically close made things difficult to communicate. Sho was a girl who didn’t need much maintenance. She craved attention every now and then but more often than none, she just needed clarification. She knew that being in a relationship with Satoshi would mean that there would not be constant communication. In fact, she was prepared that she would probably not hear from him for weeks on end. So rather than expect, she left him to his devices, trusting that he knew when to communicate with her no matter how badly it was killing her on the inside that she didn't hear from him.
“I don’t like being reminded of how far apart we are. So, I tend to just drown myself in work”
“That’s not healthy”
“Yeah but it’s better than remembering how lonely I am here without you”
“That’s the most romantic thing I’ve ever heard from you”
“Well, don’t expect it often”
Sho was also unfortunately a thinker and an analyser. She spent a lot of her time thinking about the pros and cons of remaining in the relationship. She would often wonder what the possibilities were for her in the country that he was in. She knew that she would still be able to find a decent job there considering how much experience she already had and the degree that she held but she also knew that it would mean starting from the bottom once again.
She was pessimistic about the whole thing. She knew that eventually one of them would have to give in to join the other in whichever country the other person was in. Sho was, at that point unsure if she was willing to drop everything that she had going for her. Sure, she cared and loved Satoshi like no other but when it really came down to it, could she really give up her whole life just to be with him? She wasn’t sure.
“It’s a real big sacrifice to drop my whole entire life here just to move there to be with you”
“Are you sure you want to do this?”
“What can you offer me?”
“Love and a home”
It took more than words to convince Sho that Satoshi was worth it. There were too many questions. There were far too many possibilities and uncertainties. Sho wasn’t sure if she was at the point of her life where she was ready to be selfless rather than selfish.
When she was finally done ripping off the packaging, there was a light blue box the size of the palm of her hand wrapped in white ribbon. She recognised the brand on the box to be one from a popular jewellery store. When she opened the box, a small piece of paper fell out as it revealed what was in the said box.
A reminder that I am in love with you - Satoshi.
It was a white gold ring with three small diamonds on it and it only fit on one of her fingers - the wedding finger.
That night, Sho said yes and it was then that they started what would be a long distance relationship for two years. Sho never wore the ring because she was scared that one day she would have to get rid of it. As long as she wasn't attached to it, it was still good.
The less expectation, the bigger the surprise.
3LK
If there was one thing that he hated, it was definitely moving houses. He has only done it 3 times in his whole entire lifetime and this would be the fourth. Satoshi absolutely hated it. It was the packing and the unpacking that really bugged him. If he had it his way, he would not have moved, EVER. Alas, circumstances were that he had to move. So, better pack and stop complaining.
As he packed his things up into the boxes, there were just a ridiculous amount of things that he owned. Most of them were pretty useless things like the hundreds of clay figurines that he made in his free time. They were a hobby and the more he made them, the more he realised that he should probably stop doing so. It was really only times like these that he regretted ever getting into that fad.
By the end of the day, he actually managed to fit 6 years of living in this apartment into 20 boxes and an unknown number of black plastic bags. When he thought that he was done with it all though, one particular plastic bag was still sitting on his floor. He realised what it was even without opening the plastic bag.
In the bag was a stuffed toy. It was a pretty big one too. Sho bought it during one of her trips to visit him because she was absolutely in love with it. Satoshi kept it because she didn't want to lug it back with her and she thought he would appreciate the company of said stuffed toy. As usual, she was right. The stuffed toy, which was as large as he was, kept him company up until recently when Satoshi finally realised that it was no longer needed.
"Thank you for keeping me company, all this time but I've got to let you go now", Satoshi whispered to the stuffed toy.
He decided that he was not taking that particular toy with him. He'll just pass it on to his niece instead. She would probably give it the proper love that he could not provide. As he packed it away, his heart felt a bit of a sting that he didn't think he would have felt for something so unanimated.
It was the very first thing that Sho had ever left in his care. Like so many things that she eventually left with him, they were all being packed and given away. It was time to move on. The kind of thing you do when it is the end of a chapter and the beginning of a new one.
"You do realise that you can bring that with us, right?" a soft voice called out from the door.
Satoshi turned around to see Sho smiling at him.
"I can? I thought I had too much junk and you didn't want any more of my junk in our new apartment"
Sho crouched down next to Satoshi as she reached out for the stuffed animal and hugged it.
"This isn't your junk, this is mine. I say it can come with us and sleep with us on the bed"
Satoshi smiled, leaning over to drop a quick kiss on her cheek.
"Then, where am I going to sleep?"
Sho scrunched her nose at Satoshi in response.
"You can sleep in the guest room with your figurines", Sho joked.
Satoshi pouted.
"I'm kidding", Sho said quickly as she leaned over to give Satoshi a proper kiss on the lips.
Satoshi could not have been any happier to be with Sho, his wife. He was a very happy man. He married his best friend, the woman who had been there for him for most of his life. She had given up so much to be with him and for that, he honoured her with much of his love and devotion. Never in his life would he have expected to be this lucky to have met the love of his life so early on in life. He was truly blessed.
They were in a long distance relationship for two years before Sho finally decided to give in and move over. She dropped everything in her life that was going for her at that point of time - a well to do career that paid well, a very stable life and the comforts of familiarity. But it wasn't enough to keep her happy. Without Satoshi, Sho really did feel like she had nothing in her life.
When they finally did move in together, it didn’t take too long before they got into a routine with each other. They had known each other for more than 10 years and at least half of it was them getting to know the knitty gritty parts of each other. They definitely had their ups and downs but at the end of it all, they were very much in love with each other and knew exactly how to work things out. Satoshi was never one to pick a fight and Sho learned to let go of the very small stuff.
Satoshi proposed on the night that Sho turned 30, honouring the promise that they had both made to each other over a decade ago at the beach. It was very simple and very low key. Sho had once told him that she didn’t want him on one knee or the whole grand romantic gestures with flash mobs, orchestras or even a romantic night out. All that she wanted was for him to slip the ring on her finger as subtly as he could and he did. Since Sho pretty much slept like a log, it was not hard for Satoshi to slip the ring on her finger so that she could wake up to it. When she did, it took her about half an hour before she actually realised what she had on her finger.
Needless to say, Sho said yes.
They were married in a very small wedding about a year later.
“15 years ago, I would not have imagined that I would marry you”
“It’s crazy right? You used to bully me and I used to date one of your good friends”
“Fast forward a few years and here we are”
“In love, married and in a completely different country from where we first met”
In their new apartment, they kept together a series of items that told their story. Whenever someone asked how they got together, they would both be able to bring out said items and tell the story of how they each other from when they were just in high school until where they were today.
In this modern day, this was their version of living happily ever after.
The End
RATING: R
SUMMARY: We leave memories in things we own, the places we see and the people we love. Satoshi and Sho are reminded of who they are to each other through these memories.
Warning: Genderswitch!Sho
Word Count: 6201
Memories from a Yearbook
Sometimes, when one isn’t looking, one finds amazing things.
Sho was doing what she usually does on a fine Saturday morning when she has the day off - researching for work at her study desk. It isn't very often that she would have a leisurely afternoon. Not when she would rather be at work, doing overtime with her fellow colleagues who made up most of her social life. Unfortunately for her, the building was being fumigated so Sho, was unable to go to work on her day off.
As she typed away, her eyes wandered at her own study desk as she smiled quietly to herself. Ahh, the feeling of being home in her own space. How long has it been since she was able to have this kind of day to herself? She was home alone with nothing else to bother her for the day. She had music blasting from her laptop - Black Eyed Peas were on and what do you know - I gotta feeling wooohooo that tonight's gonna be a good good night. How appropriate.
Now, she just needed to get her study desk in some sort of order before she started on whatever it was that she intended to do. Sho was usually an insanely meticulous freak when it came to her space but when she couldn't be bothered, she lets it past. At current times, her desk was some sort of organised chaos. There were books piled up on top of each other, in a very specific order. There were pens in all types of colour to her left, as well as a water tumbler just in case she was thirsty. On her left was a scientific calculator from her high school days and a whole lot more of papers that she needed to eventually file away. She knew where everything was, because it always ended up in the same place.
Paperclips and corkboard pins belonged in her drawer, where it sat for years on end, in a tiny circular compartmentalised container. As she reached out for it, she noticed something else in the drawer. For some reason, her Senior Year High School yearbook was in that particular drawer, not that she remembered placing it there in the first place.
So many memories were in this year book. She remembered that year so well. It was so much fun. She was involved in so many school activities. She had so many friends. Though exams were hard and the prospect of leaving the comforts of high school was daunting, the year was just wonderfully filled with so many pleasant memories. The pictures in the book and the messages her friends had left her filled her with such nostalgia.
As she continued flipping through the pages, two pieces of loose paper came out. They were white A4 sized sheets that clearly did not belong with the book which was slightly larger in size and better quality. Sho sighed as she traced the paper with her fingers. Oh the significance of the papers.
One was a handwritten letter whilst the other was a portrait of her back in the day.
Both came from a very special person in her life.
His name was Satoshi.
As she continued to re-read the letter that she had once read before (probably when she received it), memories came back as to how they met in the first place. Satoshi was a friend of her high school boyfriend then. She was introduced into his group of friends and somehow she got along with pretty much most of them. But Satoshi was different. Satoshi was the quiet artist who was usually too shy to say anything to any girl back then but with Sho, he was very different. He would often jab her sides with a neatly folded chip packet in the shape of a triangle and she would often slap him by the arm to tell him to bugger off. Sho was also quite a lot chubbier back then and Satoshi reminded her of that rather constantly. Man, he was such a dick back then.
It was strange to think how they really got to know each other. Memory tells her it was from the good old days of MSN Messenger. They also had a few classes together. They had many things in common. They both loved graphic novels, animated cartoons and games. That was already more than enough common grounds to work on but of course, hanging out on a daily basis at school also help the friendship move along. It helped that they were both relatively easy going people.
Sho remembered how she tried so very hard to get him to sign her yearbook but he refused to do it. She also remembered how annoyed she was at him at that point of time because he didn’t give a reason why but every time she asked, he would make an excuse. Satoshi was stubborn like that. More often than none, he was more than obliging to do things for his friends with a little bribe and a bit of a coax but when he puts his foot down; he would not budge even if it was to save his life.
“You’re really not going to sign my yearbook?”
“Nope”
“Why not?
“Because I don’t want to?”
“You are such a dick”
“You just notice this now? You’ve known me for two years!”
It really wasn’t until the very last day of high school that she found out why Satoshi didn’t sign her yearbook. They were at the end of the graduation ceremony when he pulled her aside, gave her a hug and gave her a scroll. She recalled then how she first reacted to the letter and the sketch of her. The letter itself was sweet, full of very sincere words as to how grateful he was to have met her and gotten to know her. The sketch was beautifully done. Every bit of her was drawn to an exact scale. She didn’t realise how important she was to him until that point of time. She was touched that he thought of her that way.
With a fond smile on her face, Sho slid the two pieces of paper back into the yearbook as she placed the book back into her drawer.
How many years has it been since then? Things were very much different now. If only she knew what an important role Satoshi would play in her life, she wondered if she would have acted differently back then.
The bittersweet taste of chocolate
When Satoshi's feeling a bit down or a tad bit stressed from work, he turns to one very solid thing.
Chocolates.
He loved chocolates.
To him, there was nothing more delicious than chocolate. It could be milk chocolate, strawberry chocolate, peppermint chocolate or ooh even better yet, white chocolate!
He just loved chocolates. It always made him feel better about anything and everything.
As he looked around the convenient store to browse the selection, he was reminded of the one brand of chocolate that he would never find here, or in the country. The taste of that particular brand was unforgettable because there was just so many memories attached to it.
Coming to think about it, that was the only time where chocolate didn’t make him feel any better. It was something that he didn’t like thinking about. Satoshi was one of those people who preferred to suppress memories and forget that anything bad had ever happened. Still, this was one of those things that came up to haunt him every now and then.
It was his first relationship. It was a girl that he had crushed on for four years and on the night of Boxing Day, in his house where all of his friends were hanging out for the night, she finally noticed him. As much as his heart soared that night, he also knew that there was going to be a lot of problems dating this particular girl especially since she just broke up with a mutual friend just two weeks prior.
Satoshi was warned left, right and centre about this particular girl. It also wasn’t like he didn’t know about her history but he couldn’t help himself. She was the sweetest thing to walk the earth and after years of quietly crushing on her, she finally turned around and wanted him to be her boyfriend. Satoshi ate that up right away. How could he not? She was everything that he had ever wanted.
Unfortunately, happiness didn’t last long. The relationship pretty much ended before it started. To top it all off, the girl of his dreams didn’t just break his heart with lies, she moved on pretty quickly to another person whilst she was still supposedly with him.
Satoshi didn’t know then how to react to break ups. It was as if his heart had been torn apart and stomped on several times. Thankfully though, he had good friends. Most of his male buddies came by to see how he was doing and fed him a lot of manly advice. It wasn’t really until later on that he found out that the boys came over because Sho had asked them to.
Sho was an extremely good friend by then. They had grown even closer because they spent a lot of time together. She went through a very difficult year with academics at university and her boyfriend that year, and Satoshi played the role of her confidante. He could barely remember how many times she would call or text him in tears. It got so bad that he found himself getting so angry at his friend (who was her boyfriend) that he punched him on her behalf. He supposed it was because he truly did hate dealing with tears.
This time round though, she repaid the favour by making sure that his friends were around to give him the support he needed because she wasn’t able to get there immediately to comfort him. The very next day though, she was at his house with a few bars of chocolates. Satoshi cried. He didn’t like admitting it but he cried on his bed as Sho sat by his side and held his hand. She also forced chocolate on him that day and for the first time ever in his life, Satoshi could taste the true bitterness in the chocolate despite it being sweet.
“It’s ok, you’ll get through this. I am here for you”
Even after she went home that night, she still called him just to keep him company. Somehow or rather, she also managed to talk him into going to the beach to calm his mind and he did just that. He remembered how she walked with him through conversations on the phone. He recalled the taste of the bittersweet chocolate when he took a bite from it, just as she had asked him to do. The thing that he remembered the most was how she told him that was how it felt for her too and how she wished that she could have been the one to bear the pain for him.
From then on, every time he bought chocolate, it was always either overly flavoured or extra sweet. When he finally made up his mind, there was a pack of green tea flavoured chocolate in his hand.
Never again did Satoshi wanted to taste the true taste of chocolate.
Leaving only footprints at the beach
On occasion, Sho would drive by a certain beach and sigh. It wasn't often that she would drive past this particular beach since she lived quiet a far bit away. Tonight though, she just happened to drive past after leaving a friend's house. The calm and clear night sky called out to her to visit that special place.
The beach had always been an important place for Sho. It was a peaceful place for her. The sound of the crashing waves and the scent of salted sea water always calmed her down. Every time she was angry or upset, she would come running to the beach. She didn’t live near the beach but Satoshi did. So whenever she needed a friend to accompany her as she lashed out on the world, Satoshi would gladly tag along to the beach too because like her, he loved it just as much.
It was also here that both Sho and Satoshi shared a lot about their hopes and dreams.
Strange to think that a guy and girl could have such a pure friendship where they hardly ever think about each other as more than just that. They had both gone through relationships with different people. Despite that though, they both cared very deeply for each other. Many people wondered if they were dating since they were that close to each other. He was always by her side and she always had her hands linked around his arm. It was hard to describe what feelings they had for each other. They were friends but how they acted around each other was often one step above that.
So much so that on one very random night, whilst they were both at the beach, just chatting like normal, she suggested they have a marriage pact. He agreed.
“If we’re both not married by the time we turn 30, we’re getting married”
“Deal”
The one time that stood out the most to her was when they were talking about their future plans. They were both unemployed at that point of time. She was still in university, trying very desperately to finish up her degree after a few academic blunders. He had just graduated from graphics school but the market was harsh, nobody was interested in hiring a fresh graduate. Things were looking pretty grim for the both of them but they didn’t care. They were both relatively optimistic and young. Sho was always the one encouraging Satoshi to try out new things and explore his horizon though she knew that he liked being comfortable.
"Did you ever think about leaving this place?"
"What do you mean?"
"You've spent 2 years trying to look for a job here and nothing"
"So?"
"Perhaps, there are more opportunities somewhere else?"
"But surely there are opportunities here too"
So when Satoshi suddenly announced one day via text at 3am that he had booked a one way ticket out of the country to explore his potential, Sho burst into tears and demanded he see her immediately the next day to explain himself. He did and she cried even more.
Within a week of that text, Satoshi left the country.
It’s not like we’ll never see each other again.
Sho headed to the beach then, like she usually did but she had never felt so empty in her life.
“Yeah, but you’re so far away now, Satoshi. Who is going to accompany me to the beach now?”
As Sho looked up the sky and saw the aeroplane fly above her head, she continued to sob on her own not knowing that Satoshi did the exact same thing when he read the letter she wrote for him the night he flew out of the country.
You will always be my one and only.
Nights at the hotel
It wasn't very often that Satoshi would come to this part of town but when he does, he would always past by a certain hotel which makes him grin and smile like an idiot. No, it wasn't like anything dirty happened but let's just say that particular hotel was where everything changed for him.
Though he was in a different country, Sho never stopped communicating with him. Unlike most of his other friends who tried relatively hard for the first few months, then disappeared from his life, Sho was the only persistent one. She would email her life story almost every day and he would try as far as he could to reply but he could never catch up with her long essays. He preferred short sentences. Sometimes, a few words were more than enough and before long, Sho caught on to the short replies too. Thank God. That woman could write an essay when all she needed to say was 'Good Morning' or 'Good Night'.
Sometimes, when they were both free, they would get on Skype to update each other on their respective lives. They were both working now, despite the fact that they were in very different countries. She had finally graduated in her field of work and last he heard, she was still dating some guy who he never really got to know.
He liked that Sho would keep him in the loop about everyone else and though he could really care less about them, he was just happy that she kept him company (even if it was online). It really was as if they were just next to each other. They never ran out of things to tell each other. Strange considering how far apart they were and how much they have both grown separately from each other.
Of course, when Sho told him that she was finally coming over to visit him, he was super excited. He didn’t have much annual leave but he would still see her pretty much every day because there was no way he would not spend every available moment with her when she was physically near him. He pretty much ended up staying with her in the hotel anyway. They slept together on the queen size bed every night that she was there but nothing sexual happened between them because of two things, he was too scared to make the move and she was usually dead asleep by the time the lights went out.
Truthfully, Satoshi had been harbouring feelings for Sho for a while now. She didn’t know. Or at least, he thinks she doesn’t. She was definitely different from all the other girls that he knew in his life and not exactly the type that he would have usually gone for but she knew him for what he was. He knew that nothing was ever going to come out of it. He was here and she was living somewhere else about 9000 kilometres away. There was no way anything could happen as long as he just didn’t say anything about it. It was unfair for both of them if he ever told her how he felt.
But when she was finally with him, actions spoke much louder than words. It was just natural for him to put his arm around her just as it was natural for her to slip her hand around his arm. Since it was cold and Sho had forgotten to bring her gloves one day, Satoshi just took her hand and placed it in his pockets while he held it to keep her fingers warm. Sho just leaned in to him. Even their habits and behaviours were so similar. Whilst they were eating corn, Sho squealed when she saw how he was picking the kernels one by one rather than just eating it all at one go. Apparently, it was something that she did too.
Satoshi couldn’t deny that when Sho was with him, he felt complete. She always knew what he needed and what he wanted. Though he didn’t understand why she would spend a truckload of money on a small bag that could barely fit even her wallet in it, or how she would walk into every single Hello Kitty store in sight. Then, he thought about how she was willing to accompany him to art exhibitions when she knew nothing about them. For the whole two weeks that she was with him, whenever he returned to her from work, it felt like he was returning to a home. She would always have dinner ready for him and it was great because she always picked something ridiculously delicious. Sho always welcomed him home with open arms and a warm smile. Before he knew it, she had already become his home.
Just as it came to the last night before she left, they were both in bed together under the covers just talking about nonsense. They did that a lot. Somehow, she would always find something to talk about and he would keep himself awake just to amuse her. She giggled a lot as she scooted nearer to him. Sho didn’t like cuddling but he did and every now and then, Sho would let him cuddle her. That night was clearly his lucky night and apparently about to get luckier.
Then, out of nowhere, she leaned over and planted a very quick yet firm kiss on his mouth. There was a moment of shock as his brain tried to register what had just happened. It was dark but he could still see her outline very clearly. There she was, in bed with him without a bra on as she slept in a very loose t-shirt and ridiculously short shorts.
“You kissed me”
“Yes, I did”
“You kissed me”
This time, he pounced on her, both of his hands were by her side as he rolled on top of her and kissed her. She didn’t push him away, instead, she welcomed him with an open mouth. It had been a really long time since he had been with anyone so he was a bit concerned that he may have been a bit sloppy with his mouth but the noises that she was making told him otherwise. The more they kissed, the more their bodies began to move with each other.
Satoshi had never held any woman before. He's hugged girls before but never really held one in his arms as he did Sho. There was definitely something different about being this close to a woman. Sho was so soft. She had curves starting from where her breasts formed down to her waist and way back out to her hips. His hands were all over it as if he was touching and forming some form of art sculpture. Under his hands was definitely a woman.
Within moments, he was as hard as a rock and his body was telling him that he needed some sort of release. As he pulled away, they were both panting hard. His heart was beating at a thousand miles an hour and the hormones in his body were travelling southwards which just as much speed but he couldn't just force himself on her. She meant much more than that to him.
“Tell me what you want me to do”
She looked confused as if she wasn’t sure what had just come over the both of them. Even in the dark, he could see how glassy her eyes were as if she was about to cry. Satoshi didn’t deal well with tears, it was his number one enemy. Did he hurt her in some way? Why was she about to cry?
“I’m flying out in 4 hours, Satoshi. I can’t do this with you now, knowing that I am about to leave you for God knows how long”
Damn the woman and her bloody common freaking sense, his body raged. She touched his face and brought it down to hers as their lips met once more. As much as Satoshi wanted to just use his somewhat awkward but probably still possible sexual prowess on her to convince her otherwise, he knew that he was fighting a losing battle. He couldn't do it even if he wanted to. This was Sho, after all. He would be damned before being the person to make her cry those damn tears.
“If we do this, Satoshi, my heart is going to break when I leave you in a few hours. I am so sorry”
His head fell in defeat. Sho was right. They didn’t know when they were going to meet next. It wasn’t like he had a condom. If they had gone all the way, God knows what the consequences would have been. Ok, so the worst that would happen was Sho would be pregnant and it wouldn't be a bad thing because Satoshi was ready for her to be with him forever anyway. Wishful thinking on Satoshi's behalf of course.
Sho kissed the side of his face and pulled away, leaving Satoshi even more lost than he was before. How could she have that much sense and practicality? Did she know how this whole entire ordeal even make him feel? His heart was beating so fast he was sure he would have won some sort of world record. Then, she took his hand and placed it right above her heart.
"You cannot imagine how much I want to continue, Satoshi"
He knew that he was very much defeated then. He closed his eyes, brought her hand to his lips and kissed it with an apology. She had such a sweet smile on her face as she used her fingers to touch the sides of his face.
Satoshi dragged himself out of bed and into the bathroom to sort himself out. It didn’t really take long considering the fact that Sho was in bed with not much left to his imagination. When he was done, he wrapped himself in the blanket and tried really hard not to think about the woman that was in bed with him. Sho didn’t make it difficult for him either since she kept to her side the whole entire night.
The next day, when Sho flew out, she sent him a text that gave him so much hope.
Thank you for the past 14 days.
You were everything that I needed. Will see you very soon.
Love, Sho.
Until today, whenever he walked past that particular place, his lips would just curve into a smile without him even noticing.
Why wouldn't he?
Heavy duty delivery packages
"Sho, you've got a package!"
As she walked into her room, the package sat neatly on her bed. Strange, she wasn't expecting anything at all. She didn't recall purchasing anything online at all for the past month. Then, she looked at the return address and her curiosity was piqued. It came from Satoshi. She began to strip the packaging very carefully as she wondered what he sent.
After her last trip to visit him, they talked about what everything meant. It was sort of agreed over a series of emails and one very long Skype session that they wanted to be together. What followed was a mature conversation between two people as to what they expected and what they were willing to give. Still, Sho was hesitant despite being the person who initiated everything. Satoshi gave her every reason to say yes and none to say no but her head was the one that was stopping her from agreeing immediately. She was far too aware of the odds that were against the both of them.
Being in a long distance relationship was hard. The fact that it was difficult for them to be physically close made things difficult to communicate. Sho was a girl who didn’t need much maintenance. She craved attention every now and then but more often than none, she just needed clarification. She knew that being in a relationship with Satoshi would mean that there would not be constant communication. In fact, she was prepared that she would probably not hear from him for weeks on end. So rather than expect, she left him to his devices, trusting that he knew when to communicate with her no matter how badly it was killing her on the inside that she didn't hear from him.
“I don’t like being reminded of how far apart we are. So, I tend to just drown myself in work”
“That’s not healthy”
“Yeah but it’s better than remembering how lonely I am here without you”
“That’s the most romantic thing I’ve ever heard from you”
“Well, don’t expect it often”
Sho was also unfortunately a thinker and an analyser. She spent a lot of her time thinking about the pros and cons of remaining in the relationship. She would often wonder what the possibilities were for her in the country that he was in. She knew that she would still be able to find a decent job there considering how much experience she already had and the degree that she held but she also knew that it would mean starting from the bottom once again.
She was pessimistic about the whole thing. She knew that eventually one of them would have to give in to join the other in whichever country the other person was in. Sho was, at that point unsure if she was willing to drop everything that she had going for her. Sure, she cared and loved Satoshi like no other but when it really came down to it, could she really give up her whole life just to be with him? She wasn’t sure.
“It’s a real big sacrifice to drop my whole entire life here just to move there to be with you”
“Are you sure you want to do this?”
“What can you offer me?”
“Love and a home”
It took more than words to convince Sho that Satoshi was worth it. There were too many questions. There were far too many possibilities and uncertainties. Sho wasn’t sure if she was at the point of her life where she was ready to be selfless rather than selfish.
When she was finally done ripping off the packaging, there was a light blue box the size of the palm of her hand wrapped in white ribbon. She recognised the brand on the box to be one from a popular jewellery store. When she opened the box, a small piece of paper fell out as it revealed what was in the said box.
A reminder that I am in love with you - Satoshi.
It was a white gold ring with three small diamonds on it and it only fit on one of her fingers - the wedding finger.
That night, Sho said yes and it was then that they started what would be a long distance relationship for two years. Sho never wore the ring because she was scared that one day she would have to get rid of it. As long as she wasn't attached to it, it was still good.
The less expectation, the bigger the surprise.
3LK
If there was one thing that he hated, it was definitely moving houses. He has only done it 3 times in his whole entire lifetime and this would be the fourth. Satoshi absolutely hated it. It was the packing and the unpacking that really bugged him. If he had it his way, he would not have moved, EVER. Alas, circumstances were that he had to move. So, better pack and stop complaining.
As he packed his things up into the boxes, there were just a ridiculous amount of things that he owned. Most of them were pretty useless things like the hundreds of clay figurines that he made in his free time. They were a hobby and the more he made them, the more he realised that he should probably stop doing so. It was really only times like these that he regretted ever getting into that fad.
By the end of the day, he actually managed to fit 6 years of living in this apartment into 20 boxes and an unknown number of black plastic bags. When he thought that he was done with it all though, one particular plastic bag was still sitting on his floor. He realised what it was even without opening the plastic bag.
In the bag was a stuffed toy. It was a pretty big one too. Sho bought it during one of her trips to visit him because she was absolutely in love with it. Satoshi kept it because she didn't want to lug it back with her and she thought he would appreciate the company of said stuffed toy. As usual, she was right. The stuffed toy, which was as large as he was, kept him company up until recently when Satoshi finally realised that it was no longer needed.
"Thank you for keeping me company, all this time but I've got to let you go now", Satoshi whispered to the stuffed toy.
He decided that he was not taking that particular toy with him. He'll just pass it on to his niece instead. She would probably give it the proper love that he could not provide. As he packed it away, his heart felt a bit of a sting that he didn't think he would have felt for something so unanimated.
It was the very first thing that Sho had ever left in his care. Like so many things that she eventually left with him, they were all being packed and given away. It was time to move on. The kind of thing you do when it is the end of a chapter and the beginning of a new one.
"You do realise that you can bring that with us, right?" a soft voice called out from the door.
Satoshi turned around to see Sho smiling at him.
"I can? I thought I had too much junk and you didn't want any more of my junk in our new apartment"
Sho crouched down next to Satoshi as she reached out for the stuffed animal and hugged it.
"This isn't your junk, this is mine. I say it can come with us and sleep with us on the bed"
Satoshi smiled, leaning over to drop a quick kiss on her cheek.
"Then, where am I going to sleep?"
Sho scrunched her nose at Satoshi in response.
"You can sleep in the guest room with your figurines", Sho joked.
Satoshi pouted.
"I'm kidding", Sho said quickly as she leaned over to give Satoshi a proper kiss on the lips.
Satoshi could not have been any happier to be with Sho, his wife. He was a very happy man. He married his best friend, the woman who had been there for him for most of his life. She had given up so much to be with him and for that, he honoured her with much of his love and devotion. Never in his life would he have expected to be this lucky to have met the love of his life so early on in life. He was truly blessed.
They were in a long distance relationship for two years before Sho finally decided to give in and move over. She dropped everything in her life that was going for her at that point of time - a well to do career that paid well, a very stable life and the comforts of familiarity. But it wasn't enough to keep her happy. Without Satoshi, Sho really did feel like she had nothing in her life.
When they finally did move in together, it didn’t take too long before they got into a routine with each other. They had known each other for more than 10 years and at least half of it was them getting to know the knitty gritty parts of each other. They definitely had their ups and downs but at the end of it all, they were very much in love with each other and knew exactly how to work things out. Satoshi was never one to pick a fight and Sho learned to let go of the very small stuff.
Satoshi proposed on the night that Sho turned 30, honouring the promise that they had both made to each other over a decade ago at the beach. It was very simple and very low key. Sho had once told him that she didn’t want him on one knee or the whole grand romantic gestures with flash mobs, orchestras or even a romantic night out. All that she wanted was for him to slip the ring on her finger as subtly as he could and he did. Since Sho pretty much slept like a log, it was not hard for Satoshi to slip the ring on her finger so that she could wake up to it. When she did, it took her about half an hour before she actually realised what she had on her finger.
Needless to say, Sho said yes.
They were married in a very small wedding about a year later.
“15 years ago, I would not have imagined that I would marry you”
“It’s crazy right? You used to bully me and I used to date one of your good friends”
“Fast forward a few years and here we are”
“In love, married and in a completely different country from where we first met”
In their new apartment, they kept together a series of items that told their story. Whenever someone asked how they got together, they would both be able to bring out said items and tell the story of how they each other from when they were just in high school until where they were today.
In this modern day, this was their version of living happily ever after.
The End