and it only gets better from here.
the last two days i feel like i hit rock bottom. and if i didnt, i was close.
i spent the last 12 hours being mad at one of the most amazing people. ever. but, we are ok now. and i feel a lot better. because its all going to work out. and i learned im going to have to trust him a little more. and thats going to be hard. because i dont think i really know how to trust someone. but im going to work on trusting him. i think he deserves it. i give him hell sometimes, and he STiLL puts up with me. im lucky.
and i think i have come to the conclusion that if i had to let one person rule my life, it would be adrienne. because she rocks. shes my twin. and we share a heart. out of all my closest friends, i talk to her the least. and yet, somehow, she seems to know me the best. she tells me everything i wont admit to myself. straight up. not sugar-coated. and thats what i need. because i dont really get things when people sugar-coat. i find that pointless. i think she knows me better than i know myself. and she called me yesterday becuase she needed some twin-time. so we talked. and icant tel you how much better we both felt after we talked. and today, i needed her. i needed her a lot. and i called her and she came to my rescue. she is my hero.
and last night. i called johnathan. i swear sometimes i dont know what i would do without him. he just listens and lets me babble on and on. and i swear he isnt listening. but then, he'll interrupt and ask a question that no one else would ask about whatever im talking about. he always offers a point-of-view no one else does. as much as i tease him and whatnot, hes really one of those people that ill never forget.
and adrienne and johnathan are the only two people that know EVERYTHING right now. and thats because they are the only people i feel comfortable spilling my guts out too. the two of them knowing is perfect for me. im happy with them being the only two knowing everything.
i know you guys only want the best for me. i know that. you are my friends and i love you all very dearly, but you dont know the whole story. you are no where even close to knowing. please dont try pushing things on me. there are several big things going on that you dont realize and you dont know about. and you may never know them. but thats not because i dont love you. its just because i cant. i dont like everyone being in business. and i hate people tlking about me. however, those are both inevitable, at least at some point in life. and i accept that. and thats part of the reason why im not expaining everything to all of you. because that creates more talking. and i just dont want to deal with it anymore. i hope you guys arent mad at me. and that you dont hate me. because i really do love you guys.
on a better note, things are looking up. way up. and im excited. <33
i spent the last 12 hours being mad at one of the most amazing people. ever. but, we are ok now. and i feel a lot better. because its all going to work out. and i learned im going to have to trust him a little more. and thats going to be hard. because i dont think i really know how to trust someone. but im going to work on trusting him. i think he deserves it. i give him hell sometimes, and he STiLL puts up with me. im lucky.
and i think i have come to the conclusion that if i had to let one person rule my life, it would be adrienne. because she rocks. shes my twin. and we share a heart. out of all my closest friends, i talk to her the least. and yet, somehow, she seems to know me the best. she tells me everything i wont admit to myself. straight up. not sugar-coated. and thats what i need. because i dont really get things when people sugar-coat. i find that pointless. i think she knows me better than i know myself. and she called me yesterday becuase she needed some twin-time. so we talked. and icant tel you how much better we both felt after we talked. and today, i needed her. i needed her a lot. and i called her and she came to my rescue. she is my hero.
and last night. i called johnathan. i swear sometimes i dont know what i would do without him. he just listens and lets me babble on and on. and i swear he isnt listening. but then, he'll interrupt and ask a question that no one else would ask about whatever im talking about. he always offers a point-of-view no one else does. as much as i tease him and whatnot, hes really one of those people that ill never forget.
and adrienne and johnathan are the only two people that know EVERYTHING right now. and thats because they are the only people i feel comfortable spilling my guts out too. the two of them knowing is perfect for me. im happy with them being the only two knowing everything.
i know you guys only want the best for me. i know that. you are my friends and i love you all very dearly, but you dont know the whole story. you are no where even close to knowing. please dont try pushing things on me. there are several big things going on that you dont realize and you dont know about. and you may never know them. but thats not because i dont love you. its just because i cant. i dont like everyone being in business. and i hate people tlking about me. however, those are both inevitable, at least at some point in life. and i accept that. and thats part of the reason why im not expaining everything to all of you. because that creates more talking. and i just dont want to deal with it anymore. i hope you guys arent mad at me. and that you dont hate me. because i really do love you guys.
on a better note, things are looking up. way up. and im excited. <33