This has to be donehopeisfallingMarch 9 2003, 09:21:30 UTC
As of right now all of this comes to an end. This is absolutly rediculous. We are all acting like pre-schoolers. Not just one but ALL! So dont think that when I say that that im not talking to you. Why did all of this start? Because of a stupid IM that Matt sent to Rachel? Come on folks really! All of this for that? Or does this hatred for one another stem from previous falling outs? When did we all suddenly realize that we all would enjoy picking Matt apart? This all started when people realized that they didnt think that Matt and I should be together anymore. The picking began. Not really bad at first because they knew that I would get defensive. But then it just kept growing. I addmit that in the past I have said things about Matt, because I was angry with him. But all of that stops now! I sat here and read your arguments and realized that we are all adults. Why in the hell are we bickering like two year olds? We are all to blame here.
I realize now that I should have been a leader and not a follower in the past. Not just with the break up, but everytime one of us started to pick eachother apart. I know that we all talk about eachother behind their backs. Maybe nothing HUGE but something. Either we didnt like the way someone was doing something or the way they were acting. I just realized Who gives a fuck?! Its there lives isnt it? Since when has it been said that "friends" do that to each other?
I know that now I may lose friends but you know what....who cares? If they were really my friend than they wouldnt take offence to this. They would just realize that I am trying to help. So go on cast your stones at me if you like. I know iv made my mistakes, and im ready to pay for them.
There are two things that you could take from this entry... 1. That you think im right, and its time for us to stop this, and go on with our lives. Avoiding eachother if needed. OR 2. That Im totally wrong, and im stupid, and you dont want to be my friend anymore.
That decision is completely up to you guys.
Now im going to take the rest of this space to apologize to everyone...
Matt-Im am very sorry for everytime that I hurt you. For everytime that I said things about you because I was mad. You didnt deserve it. Inside of you is a VERY strong person. One of the strongest people I have met in my life. You are also one of the most loyal persons I'v ever had the plessure of calling "friend." Dont lose those qualitys that I love about you Matt. You always knew how to make me smile. :)
Michele-Im sorry for ever making you feel the way that I have in the past. I was stupid and im sorry. Beans I love you so much. You have always been there for me. Always my back bone but now I hope that I can stand on my own. But I always want to have you their beside me.Your my beans. Who could live without that? :P
Josh-We have had alot of ups and downs with our friendship. Im sorry for ever making you feel like you owed me something. I dont know if thats how you feel but thats what I get from being around you. Im sorry for ever making you feel uncomfortable. You dont need to feel that way. What you want is your affair. I will be happy for you anyway.
Rachel-You have always been the mystery to me. Im sorry for ever judging you. I realize now that you are a very caring person. Im also sorry for ever making you feel uncomfortable.
Krista-I realize that you were'nt really part of this fight. But I figure I better do this anyway. Im sorry for jumping the gun and assuming that you were taking sides. I felt betrayed. So I reataliated. Im sorry for that, and I hope you can forgive me. I dont care if you dont want to talk to me. But I would like it if you forgave me. Im going to pull a Josh Robertson and say: "when you assume you make an ass out of you and me." :P Im sorry.
Jesse-Im sorry for ever hurting your friend. You are the most loyal friends that I have ever witnessed. Im glad for Matt. Im glad that he has a friend like you. To be there for him every step of the way. Thank you for..taking care of him.
I guess thats about all I have to say. I hope you can all realize why i'v done this. And learn from it. Let all of this go and move on.
Re: This has to be doneoremixMarch 9 2003, 09:53:07 UTC
I'm not going to hate you for what you've posted lol.
I will say that I don't feel like I owe you anything really....but I genuinly want to just be behind you as a friend, because thats what you are to me, a friend. So anytime you need anything I am here for you. If you want to hang out I'm here for you... I don't want to lose you ever and I treasure your friendship more then you might think..
As far as your post goes? It is a interesting opinion on the situation... I'm not sure about everything but I do want some peace.. I'm already sick of all of this. I just want both of us (matt and I) to go our own ways. At least until we can handle talking to eachother without wanting to murder eachother...
It's better that way... It's better then whats happening now... this is tearing apart any chance we ever had to become friends again... and I absolutely hate it...
Thats all for now I guess.. just had to get that out..
We are all acting like pre-schoolers. Not just one but ALL! So dont think that when
I say that that im not talking to you. Why did all of this start? Because of a stupid
IM that Matt sent to Rachel? Come on folks really! All of this for that? Or does this
hatred for one another stem from previous falling outs? When did we all suddenly realize
that we all would enjoy picking Matt apart? This all started when people realized that they
didnt think that Matt and I should be together anymore. The picking began. Not really
bad at first because they knew that I would get defensive. But then it just kept growing.
I addmit that in the past I have said things about Matt, because I was angry with him. But
all of that stops now! I sat here and read your arguments and realized that we are all adults.
Why in the hell are we bickering like two year olds? We are all to blame here.
I realize now that I should have been a leader and not a follower in the past. Not just with the
break up, but everytime one of us started to pick eachother apart. I know that we all talk
about eachother behind their backs. Maybe nothing HUGE but something. Either we didnt
like the way someone was doing something or the way they were acting. I just realized
Who gives a fuck?! Its there lives isnt it? Since when has it been said that "friends"
do that to each other?
I know that now I may lose friends but you know what....who cares? If they were really my
friend than they wouldnt take offence to this. They would just realize that I am trying to help.
So go on cast your stones at me if you like. I know iv made my mistakes, and im ready to pay
for them.
There are two things that you could take from this entry...
1. That you think im right, and its time for us to stop this, and go on with our lives.
Avoiding eachother if needed.
OR
2. That Im totally wrong, and im stupid, and you dont want to be my friend anymore.
That decision is completely up to you guys.
Now im going to take the rest of this space to apologize to everyone...
Matt-Im am very sorry for everytime that I hurt you. For everytime that I said things about
you because I was mad. You didnt deserve it. Inside of you is a VERY strong person.
One of the strongest people I have met in my life. You are also one of the most loyal
persons I'v ever had the plessure of calling "friend." Dont lose those qualitys that
I love about you Matt. You always knew how to make me smile. :)
Michele-Im sorry for ever making you feel the way that I have in the past. I was stupid and im sorry.
Beans I love you so much. You have always been there for me. Always
my back bone but now I hope that I can stand on my own. But I always want to have you
their beside me.Your my beans. Who could live without that? :P
Josh-We have had alot of ups and downs with our friendship. Im sorry for ever making you
feel like you owed me something. I dont know if thats how you feel but thats what I
get from being around you. Im sorry for ever making you feel uncomfortable. You dont
need to feel that way. What you want is your affair. I will be happy for you anyway.
Rachel-You have always been the mystery to me. Im sorry for ever judging you. I realize
now that you are a very caring person. Im also sorry for ever making you feel uncomfortable.
Krista-I realize that you were'nt really part of this fight. But I figure I better do this
anyway. Im sorry for jumping the gun and assuming that you were taking sides. I felt
betrayed. So I reataliated. Im sorry for that, and I hope you can forgive me. I dont
care if you dont want to talk to me. But I would like it if you forgave me. Im going to pull
a Josh Robertson and say: "when you assume you make an ass out of you and me." :P
Im sorry.
Jesse-Im sorry for ever hurting your friend. You are the most loyal friends that I have
ever witnessed. Im glad for Matt. Im glad that he has a friend like you. To be there
for him every step of the way. Thank you for..taking care of him.
I guess thats about all I have to say. I hope you can all realize why i'v done this.
And learn from it. Let all of this go and move on.
Reply
I will say that I don't feel like I owe you anything really....but I genuinly want to just be behind you as a friend, because thats what you are to me, a friend. So anytime you need anything I am here for you. If you want to hang out I'm here for you... I don't want to lose you ever and I treasure your friendship more then you might think..
As far as your post goes? It is a interesting opinion on the situation... I'm not sure about everything but I do want some peace.. I'm already sick of all of this. I just want both of us (matt and I) to go our own ways. At least until we can handle talking to eachother without wanting to murder eachother...
It's better that way... It's better then whats happening now... this is tearing apart any chance we ever had to become friends again... and I absolutely hate it...
Thats all for now I guess.. just had to get that out..
Reply
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