Ernie's mom sucks his toes
Post e-mailed to myself at 11:30 this morning:
I've been abandoned. Everyone left. I'm here by myself for the next hour and a half. AND I CARE NOT! It's been a good day. R and I got into a slap fight over the new surgery drapes and K said, "You two must have been sisters in a past life." I replied, "Yes, but in this life we are mortal enemies. TO THE PAIN!"
K: To the pain?
Me: Yes, to the pain.
K: what the hell?
Me: Don't get me started on The Princess Bride.
R: Oh geez.
Me: Shut up, witch!
R: I'm not a witch, I'm your wife!
K: Okay, you two can't work together anymore.
So, Monday Grubs and I went for bubble tea and then drove over to the park to consume it. As I said last night, we had a lot of catching up to do, even though nothing exciting or important happens in our lives. Thirty years together, we never run out of things to talk about.
Anyway, so we're sitting there, suckin' humbugs bubble tea, watching the geese and ducks get tormented by horrible little children, talking about our day trip to Seattle next month. Before that, we had been talking about all the places we'd gone to in our late teens. We went to a lot of shows in Milwaukee, and on the way up we always passed the Bong Recreation Area. I don't need to point out why that's so funny. If I do, you should go rent a Cheech and Chong video.
I've never much liked Wisconsin. I think it has something to do with a Chicagoan's deep-rooted hatred of the Greenbay Packers. And so:
Grubs: I really like Seattle, it's a nice city. It's just a really boring three hour drive up there.
Grubs and Me simulteneously: Not as boring as Milwaukee.
And then we laughed very loudly for a few minutes.
On the way home, we put on some Warren Zevon and sang away. Discussed how it's far less embarassing to be a horrible singer than to go to a voice coach and have to do those stupid exercises. And so, we sing. Badly. Loudly. Proudly. But only in front of each other. And, really. How hard is it to sing along to Warren?
So we're listening to Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner, and it gets to the end.
Grubs and me singing: Patty Hearst heard the burst of Roland's thompson gun and bought iiiiiiit...
Me: What exactly did Patty Hearst buy?
Grubs: Lots of fabulous hand bags after the terrorists let her go.
And here's the start of our Bubble Dictionary:
bubble tease: when the bubbles clump together and all you suck up is juice.
bubble freeze: same as when you eat ice cream too fast, except it's bubble tea.
bubble pee: what happens about a half hour after you consume bubble tea.
bubble free: free drink with a full stamp card.
bubble knee: when your knee hurts because you hiked too hard to earn your boba.
The other night Grubs and I were watching an ocean special on OPB. It showed a school of fish swimming along a reef, and the waves kept pushing them back.
Grubs: I wonder if fish ever think the floor is moving.
Today we were driving and talking about Prince. I had commented how disappointed I was that he didn't do "Gett Off" in concert.
Grubs: Well, he doesn't curse anymore.
Me: What an asshole.
I've been abandoned. Everyone left. I'm here by myself for the next hour and a half. AND I CARE NOT! It's been a good day. R and I got into a slap fight over the new surgery drapes and K said, "You two must have been sisters in a past life." I replied, "Yes, but in this life we are mortal enemies. TO THE PAIN!"
K: To the pain?
Me: Yes, to the pain.
K: what the hell?
Me: Don't get me started on The Princess Bride.
R: Oh geez.
Me: Shut up, witch!
R: I'm not a witch, I'm your wife!
K: Okay, you two can't work together anymore.
So, Monday Grubs and I went for bubble tea and then drove over to the park to consume it. As I said last night, we had a lot of catching up to do, even though nothing exciting or important happens in our lives. Thirty years together, we never run out of things to talk about.
Anyway, so we're sitting there, suckin' humbugs bubble tea, watching the geese and ducks get tormented by horrible little children, talking about our day trip to Seattle next month. Before that, we had been talking about all the places we'd gone to in our late teens. We went to a lot of shows in Milwaukee, and on the way up we always passed the Bong Recreation Area. I don't need to point out why that's so funny. If I do, you should go rent a Cheech and Chong video.
I've never much liked Wisconsin. I think it has something to do with a Chicagoan's deep-rooted hatred of the Greenbay Packers. And so:
Grubs: I really like Seattle, it's a nice city. It's just a really boring three hour drive up there.
Grubs and Me simulteneously: Not as boring as Milwaukee.
And then we laughed very loudly for a few minutes.
On the way home, we put on some Warren Zevon and sang away. Discussed how it's far less embarassing to be a horrible singer than to go to a voice coach and have to do those stupid exercises. And so, we sing. Badly. Loudly. Proudly. But only in front of each other. And, really. How hard is it to sing along to Warren?
So we're listening to Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner, and it gets to the end.
Grubs and me singing: Patty Hearst heard the burst of Roland's thompson gun and bought iiiiiiit...
Me: What exactly did Patty Hearst buy?
Grubs: Lots of fabulous hand bags after the terrorists let her go.
And here's the start of our Bubble Dictionary:
bubble tease: when the bubbles clump together and all you suck up is juice.
bubble freeze: same as when you eat ice cream too fast, except it's bubble tea.
bubble pee: what happens about a half hour after you consume bubble tea.
bubble free: free drink with a full stamp card.
bubble knee: when your knee hurts because you hiked too hard to earn your boba.
The other night Grubs and I were watching an ocean special on OPB. It showed a school of fish swimming along a reef, and the waves kept pushing them back.
Grubs: I wonder if fish ever think the floor is moving.
Today we were driving and talking about Prince. I had commented how disappointed I was that he didn't do "Gett Off" in concert.
Grubs: Well, he doesn't curse anymore.
Me: What an asshole.