tired of being tired...
so, i went to the doctor for insomnia. since it's been going on for about a year, she (the doctor) asked what happened a year ago and i told her my girlfriend left for school in colorado, i have become more involved with school work, and i came out to my parents about a year ago, but i don't think that has anything to do with the fact that i can't fucking sleep at night. so, after she looked at me blankly like she couldn't believe this gaywad was in her room, she scheduled me to see a mental health specialist on wednesday. i looked at her bio afterwards and she went to asbury college and does medical missonary work...connection with her reaction to me and my referral? lol, i love the university health services.
alicia bought me a plane ticket to visit her for my birthday. i love love love her so much! it really sucks being here without her. REALLY FUCKING SUCKS.
i am so tired (haha) of being here in lexington, being without alicia, being in school, being stressed about school, taking classes that i don't give two shits about, being constantly cautious of saying shit in front of or to people because i am worried about what they think of me when it ultimately doesn't matter, tired of conversations that make me feel dumb, tired of people who get off on make make people feel dumb while engaging in conversations, tired of dealing with money or not having money, having next door neighbors who like to have my fucking friend's car towed because they have no fucking common sense and can't come knock on my fucking door like they did everyone else's door to see if the owner of the car was with me, tired of being tired...pretty much everything. does my attitude have anything to do with not having had my period in 2 months? hmm...
i just wanna be with alicia.
AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
i really like writing in my livejournal because it's my only avenue besides talking to alicia to vent without feeling censored. i feel better. i'm ok. check.
alicia bought me a plane ticket to visit her for my birthday. i love love love her so much! it really sucks being here without her. REALLY FUCKING SUCKS.
i am so tired (haha) of being here in lexington, being without alicia, being in school, being stressed about school, taking classes that i don't give two shits about, being constantly cautious of saying shit in front of or to people because i am worried about what they think of me when it ultimately doesn't matter, tired of conversations that make me feel dumb, tired of people who get off on make make people feel dumb while engaging in conversations, tired of dealing with money or not having money, having next door neighbors who like to have my fucking friend's car towed because they have no fucking common sense and can't come knock on my fucking door like they did everyone else's door to see if the owner of the car was with me, tired of being tired...pretty much everything. does my attitude have anything to do with not having had my period in 2 months? hmm...
i just wanna be with alicia.
AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
i really like writing in my livejournal because it's my only avenue besides talking to alicia to vent without feeling censored. i feel better. i'm ok. check.