-107-
Private to Self // Hackable - Language: Kurdish
...a tumultous period. Saji was ill but he has since recovered. Allelujah was killed again, but he has revived as well. He is...still adamant on not telling us what truly happened.
I suppose I needed something to distract me from the chaos that has been going round. That was why I requested to do the meme . People have asked me...questions. Questions that made me think. Am I happy here?
...the other Meisters.
Tieria. He is a valuable team mate, however we are not close. Never have been. He is...still the same, mostly. However, this place has changed him, little by little. He spends much time with the non-human residents of this house. Every time I see him with them, I sense a different aura of sorts about him. Not as tense and serious. More...relaxed. A bit friendly, even. In the old house, we shared a room. We communicated at times. Here, everyone has their own room. As a result, we barely interact any more.
Allelujah. Lockon. They have friends of their own. They have...secrets. Facts that they do not deem suitable to be shared with others. It seems that I have become one of "others". Prior to arriving in Purgatorium, I would not have minded. Now...
I am truly becoming soft. It will be a fatal weakness.
I cannot help but feel that the distance between us has widened. Maybe more accurately, the distance was already present in the first place. Back at home, we had missions and no time to think about friendships and relationships. Here, things are...different.
The distance becomes glaringly obvious. However, that distance has not stopped us from working together to complete missions. Perhaps it would not be a major factor in hindering our cooperation.
On the other hand, I have struck up unexpected friendships with people from other worlds, as well as strengthened bonds with people that I had rarely interacted with before.
Valeria. If my memory serves me, we met during the time when half the city was gripped by an age-altering phenomenon. She is...a most kind individual. I do not recall anyone else who has made me open up and trust in so quickly as she. She was the first in Purgatorium to show me kindness, a sort of kindness that I had not experienced for a long time. I grew attached to her, somewhat. I found myself looking forward to her visits, her replies. Many times, I thought of her. Eventually, we seemed to drift apart. I do not know when or why, we simply did. She is...busy with many things. Often, I thought of speaking to her. However, she is rarely at home. Like Allelujah and Lockon, she has other people to care for as well. I cannot be selfish.
Kanan Mistyre. I do not remember how we met. Possibly through Valeria. She is another person who has made me open up rapidly. That time when Valeria was kidnapped, Kanan had hurt herself while going out to look for her. Ever since then, she has been residing with us. Despite the fact - or is it exactly because of it? - that she is not from my world, I feel comfortable speaking to her about many things. She gives deep insights into matters, opinions that I would not have considered otherwise. Sharing residence equates to more interaction opportunities, and that has helped to strengthen our relationship. I look up to her as a family member, and if anything happens to her, I will risk my life to protect her. If...I ever return home, I do not wish to forget her.
Lelouch. His words. As long as there are people who commit these sins, the world will be twisted. To fight is to show the world that something has to change, even if you cannot accomplish it by yourself. His ideals, his goals, his fight to bring about change. We share many ideals. Whenever we meet, I look forward to hearing what he has to say. He is very intelligent, and a deep thinker. We had not had much interaction as of late, however. I hope that this situation will change.
Viral. Enkidu's pilot. Not a friendship per se. While we are still hostile to each other, we are on speaking terms at the very least. He seems...attached to Enkidu. I can identify with that attachment, even if he is fighting for a reason that I do not agree with.
Marina Ismail. We met under favorable, if rushed, conditions. I destroy established paths in hopes of clearing the way for a new future. She believes in the power of the spoken word. We cannot be more different. Yet, she has affected me more deeply than I thought was possible since our first meeting. Is it because of her voice...? She is so similar to Mother. Here, we see each other more often, talk to each other more often. It allows me to understand her more, understand why she chooses her path to peace, understand her better personally. Perhaps it is the...feeling of camaraderie of a fellow Middle Eastern. I feel that I can talk to her about many things. She makes me feel comfortable as well. Perhaps Purgatorium will help to strengthen her mentally and help her develop as a leader. Perhaps if we return home, she will remember our interactions. It is my hope for her.
...Saji Crossroad. He was my neighbour before, and still is in Purgatorium. There is no one he knows and is close to here, so naturally, he came to me, the only familiar face he knew. The developments in our relationship has surprised even me. I never thought that things would turn out this way. I am...thankful. Very thankful. Very grateful. I owe him an answer. All is clear however. What I need now is a suitable time.
...do I wish to return home?
All of a sudden, I hesitate. I do not have an absolute answer.
[/private- Kurdish]