The Oldies
Found a whole bunch of old poems, song lyrics, and other writings that I thought were gone for good... fun to look back at these after several years.
Inyan
he is soft and shapeless
and his blood is blue;
well so is me
and so is you.
in a place of darkness
he made one two,
and shaped the sea
his blood ran through.
the power in the waters
began to rise
and made of spirit,
it became the skies.
a voice spoke in the darkness
the first of times,
said, "I am Sky,
the giver of life."
---------------------------------
Happy Dead Amphibian
how dare you
crawl out of the sea
to did what you do
and how dare me?
the first gasp for air
and gasp for a she,
ambitions of now
with your rich family.
well look what you did,
happy dead amphibian.
all smiles in the end
my greedy wet friend.
i've got ghosts in my gut
all sporting webbed feet
cause i'm such a slut
and you'd never retreat.
rescue those kids
before it's too late
don't let them die
they have lives to hate.
well look what you did,
happy dead amphibian.
all smiles in the end
all smiles in the end.
how dare you
and how dare me
crawl out of the sea
and do what we deed.
-------------------------------------------------
End of Talking Carp
when my face falls off
and my bones fall apart,
i don't know where you will be.
you might think my name
and my blood are the same,
but neither of these things are me.
when you stare into the sun
as if it's the only one
your foolishness keeps me warm.
at the end of the day
when i'm done with the play
i know i know i know i've done you harm.
such a silly game
we play when we're awake,
continued in even our dreams.
and i love your love i do
though it burns me through and through,
boy you know i'm just exactly what i seems.
oh the shark bit the fish,
hadn't eaten in days,
and sang "please don't
let this feeling swim away."
got a lot of bodies
on my fishing hook,
but that won't bring
back yesterday.
it costs your death for your life,
so better not to love your wife,
when everything you love will bring you pain.
to love your death makes more sense,
from this side of the fence,
where everything is going down the drain.
the shark bit the fish,
hadn't eaten in days,
and sang "please don't
let this feeling swim away."
got a lot of bodies
on my fishing hook,
but that won't bring
back yesterday.
-------------------------------------------------
though you may be from mars,
your voice still makes me cry.
i try to see so far,
to know before i die.
big train blocks the tracks,
doesn't know the past.
the wood is full of cracks,
and i feel old too fast.
goodbye to forever time,
to dogshit on the lawn.
will i kiss your face again
before one of us is gone?
hold on to my hand you evil woman
and we will find our way to oblivion.
---------------------------------------
drunk on captivity
he looks for a home,
not to fall back on,
but to slowly become.
she tries to break out
of flowers in particular,
tells him to come along
though he's been there before.
they lay down together,
hating past lovers,
loving each other
with blood on their teeth.
the moon sitting quietly,
a long way from this affair,
shows the shine in her hair
but not what's underneath.
things might not be ok, no,
things might not be ok.
little pieces of life,
they might feel nice,
but that's never the way
that they stay.
i might not be ok, love,
you might not be ok.
what's burning inside
seems to be the whole ride,
i don't think that it goes away.
i don't think that it goes away.
---------------------------------------
you were almost out of air,
racing for the silver skin
and if you never made it there
whoa god you'd be so vague now.
you have a glass yellow face
and a curly red crown
and a shiny brown head
and you never look down.
your smiles are real
how often they come,
teach me to do that,
i'd like to know how.
----------------------------------------
in the fall
attention drifted,
she stumbled naked
to his room.
i was drunk
my gloom unlifted,
the carpet sang me
a dreadful tune.
i saw her soon
crying in the moon,
he must not know
what a flower's for.
i held her tight
and it felt alright,
like a dying wave
pulled from the shore.
i am disappearing,
i am disappearing.
when i look for me,
not a thing to see
and that's what i've been fearing.
i am disappearing,
emptiness i'm nearing.
it's hard to find
a man behind
this body that i am steering.
now i carry
a beastly urge
to rid this vile
man of life.
'tis a wish
i long to purge,
i think i'd do it
with a knife.
and in this strife
i spurn my wife,
though still i
often laud her.
might sound gruff
this kind of stuff,
'tis my ideal
fodder.
i am disappearing,
i am disappearing.
when i look for me,
not a thing to see
and that's what i've been fearing.
i am disappearing,
emptiness i'm nearing.
it's hard to find
a man behind
this body that i am steering.
-----------------------------------------------
Hersal (Right On Time)
burrows in
to ears of bystanders,
shaking the frame
of their torsos
with otherworldly forms
displayed upon
ordinary piano.
The mystical
Fives chug-a-chug ever onward
along Cliffside, Neuron,
Meadow, and Wind
like a genitalia avalanche
barrels down Cartoon Mountain,
growing and roaring.
Hersal grew so fast, he
died by pork & beans
or
hitting the bottom
of the Mountain
first.
---------------------------------------
what dared take the
first breath of air,
crawled up gasping
for oxygen and
fucking? with
ambitions of family
barbeques, naked
cheerleaders, automobiles,
doorbells,
a sense of
satisfaction?
how could you?
-----------------------------------------
we first met in buddy guy's hotel
room.
he was naked i think,
flat on his stomach,
unconscious, with all
his hair cut off, it wasn't
him at all. not even
close. you were still
in awe, watching over
him while i urinated
quietly in the corner
in what appeared to
be a toilet
but was actually a
toilet-shaped guitar
(very expensive)
and as i left we planned
to meet under less surreal
circumstances, girl.
-------------------------------
not a thing as ugly
within me
as the vastness of
my jealousy.
grows as an old
pile of letters
accumulating in
the corner of
my shelter.
drives nearly
every action in
which i've engaged
that has led to
suffering.
but my guilt is
so beautiful,
big and warm,
helps me love.
---------------------------------------
if anybody has
found even the illusion
of value in this chaotic
barage of indescribable
emotion and nonsensical
stimulus,
please fill me in.
---------------------------------------
i am in ann arbor.
where can all this snot come from?
ashley brought me soup.
could it come from the mysterious emptiness?
the snot, not the soup.
----------------------------------------
Girl With Dog
you are walking towards the road,
you have a dog.
i am driving on the road.
i hope you see me coming
cause i'm not stopping.
oh girl with dog,
why won't you be my wife?
we could live in an apartment
that's fine with having pets.
oh girl with dog,
marry me tonight,
then we'll hang out tomorrow
and make sure we don't hate each other.
though your dog may be a boy or a girl,
you are definitely a girl.
i hope your dog is on a leash,
cause i'm not stopping
and i'd hate to hit your dog with my car.
oh girl with dog,
why won't you be my wife?
we could live in an apartment
that's fine with having pets.
oh girl with dog,
marry me tonight,
then we'll hang out tomorrow
and make sure we don't hate each other.
you are a girl with a dog,
i am a boy with a car.
you are a girl with a dog,
i am a boy with a car.
yeah, yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah... (repeat)
-------------------------------------------
cold day
slow walk
soft shoes
can't talk
changes
long gone
old heart
moves on
it's a tired climb
to the solitude of only mind.
lost cause
sit still
blast off
he will
nice car
dead life
brain fight
new wife
it's a tired climb
to the solitude of only mind.
---------------------------------------
A Way To Go
a girl, she is the kind
who does just what she likes
on various nights
and nobody admits that they mind.
well, i used to mind,
but the breakfasts of pain,
they turned me to rain.
now i'm leaving you people behind.
hey, it's a way to go,
can't think of a better,
to radiant lake
where the horizon is fake,
and every lie is lifted by the sun.
hey, it's a way to go,
can't think of a better.
but after a taste,
you'll find it's a waste,
and maybe you'll get out of this alive.
i hope that you get out of this alive.
oh, she'll make you blind.
you'll be lost in the snow,
shouldn't i know?
well we all know what you're trying to find.
ok, i'll try not to laugh.
sure things could work out,
of this there's no doubt,
but come on buddy, you do the math.
but hey, it's a way to go,
can't think of a better,
to radiant lake
where the horizon is fake,
and every lie is lifted by the sun.
your life may be
nothing but a falling feather,
or something you found
on either side of the ground,
well i know my life's nothing at all.
i know my life's nothing at all.
a way to go. it's a way to go.
it's a way to go.
-------------------------------------------
Q: LIFE PUZZLE?
A: exploding roller coaster.
Q: LOVE PUZZLE?
A: warm functioning breasts.
Q: TO SCREW IN A LIGHT BULB?
A: one to screw it in and _____ to _________.
Q: WHY DO I DO IT?
A: berries taste amazing.
it is difficult,
making the full
commitment to one's
particular form
of awareness,
hence the poor
scientists picking
apart the empty
material that
shapes their
dreams.
---------------------------------------------
being born gives me
a headache. what the
hell happened last
night?
------------------------------------------------
self sensation wavers
slightly in the general
vicinity of
concept body frame,
limited only by
expectation of
continued imprisonment.
be careful! don't
fall into yourself!
it's a long way down.
-------------------------------------------
flower to flower, what
part is not just life?
be unawake and a seed
or conscious and decomposing.
stare at crying
faces with crappy paint
streaking all over their
cheeks, laugh at the paint
with a weird stuck smile
and eyelids forced closed,
with your insides cleaned
out. i'll laugh with ya
Pops, cause we have inside
jokes we each have
yet to hear.
oh, fuck you for
that one time you
yelled at me on the
phone like i was
ungrateful.
you show those
whateverthehellyoumeet
next, i'm right behind
you, just give me some
time to figure out how
stupid and silly all
of this breathing shit
is.
it is
then that we will
battle evil ghosts
as an invincible
duo of the afterlife,
saving every skeleton
princess.
-------------------------------------------------
he wrote everything
i will ever write with
his genitals,
with his
total insane devotion
to a woman nobody
ever deserved. i inherited
his healthy dose of
delusion,
now he's gone.
he was beautiful,
i loved him a lot.
-------------------------------------------------
Ian,
odd bond. just
drunk enough. the
roles, roles, rolls
rawls. the sidelines,
sidelines, while my
heart subverted,
wrestled. good fun.
your friend,
ryan
p.s. HAIKU
at the three-headed
dog, shit flies through pipes over
the heads of poets.
-------------------------------------------------
fades in, lives
timelessly when
sleeping, almost
cries, needs a
drummer who can
hit the snare just
late enough.
cringe.
-----------------------------------------------
to detroit.
haunted by each thing
that hurts him in his
dreams. knives
everywhere.
----------------------------------------------
indifferent to evolution,
hardwired for fucking,
how annoying.
-------------------------------------------------
learns there are many
forms of malnutrition
and many don't involve
food, his eye has
been twitching.
-------------------------------------------------
eats a little bit, looks
out the window at nothing
in particular. he feels
amazingly misunderstood
at best. running out
of enthusiasm towards
even one thing, he can't
believe she played him
that song, what a cruel
thing to do. would
gladly
give various body
parts to spend a day
with an unpredictable
stranger, hearing
something he hasn't
heard before, happy
and sober
all at once.
-------------------------------------------------
fills the day with
anything at all, moving
between places, talking
to strangers, trying to
fit comfortably into the
illusion, doing his part,
whatever that may be
(open to suggestions).
forgets the difference
between life and death,
can't wrap his mind
around it anymore,
it's gone. that is
an interesting theory
you have there, that
theories don't matter,
perhaps it is true!
he can't remember how
to set aside the weight
of things just right.
he should have listened
to kyra, here come the flies,
here they come.
----------------------------------
flat and towering over
endless falling, sun
sinking into its many
magic pits, loading
personal settings,
keyboard works right now,
he prices fishnet stockings,
always almost fired, loves
explosions.
prays to feel the ground
again that way, the way
he did that night on the
Notch Trail, almost alone,
better than alone. frowns
at the mess splattered over
heaven, wishes that Buffalo
had taken him out for good,
a way to go, can't think
of a better.
longs for an end
to longing, one hand
on her back, one holds
the gravel, and the third?
don't ask that question!
loves to consider various
graves, still partial to
being eaten by sharks,
a rabbi in a clown suit
will deliver his eulogy.
he plans to attend,
missing
some limbs, a smile your way
from the guest of honor...
then his journey begins
to that night in the
Badlands, tent pieces
blowing every which
way, a guitar in the
corner behaves like
a tent peg ought to,
the wind
drowning out all
anxiety, holding
each other for any
reason at all.
-------------------------------------------------
loves a raindrop sliding
down the window of a
minivan, grows older
by accident, rearranges
his fears.
numbers the moments
in a drunk dream, loses
track, answers a phone,
walks in on
you masturbating, doesn't
care. watches his loved
ones turn to mud, drifts
away from here at your
suggestion, never
learned how to
intentionally forget.
-------------------------------------------------
a bird in a headlight,
a monkey in the moonlight,
wet grass, old friend,
new friend.
dancing in my chair,
singing shaky,
lives in holes, got the time,
leave my mind.
awoke to the same fly,
same stomach,
cat on the couch, knock on the door,
tubes in the hall.
drowned in beerworld,
slept like an onion,
not a chance in france, ate only once,
running low on batteries.
ralph nader.
----------------------------------------------
You Are Just The Paste
if only...
if only...
if only you could feel every little thing i feel
just by holding my hand... maybe you can...
maybe you can.
if only...
if only...
if only i could see everything you see everything you need
when we touch the same tree... you and tree are in me...
what a wonderful three.
there's a house that we've built,
in a place that can't be seen.
of every hand we've been dealt,
not a one has felt clean.
our house follows me still,
and i know some day you will
know just what i mean.
you'll know just what i mean.
i'm empty... i'm empty...
now every little thing you do everything you don't say
i love you anyway... a day is just a day...
so come over and play.
if every... if every...
if every beautiful thing we have we embrace
and things with bad taste... be put in their place...
i'd not be a waste.
but i am a waste,
and you are just the paste
that keeps me having this face.
-------------------------------------------------
A Song To Me
he's lookin for a frame of reference,
one not made by the mind of a man.
he was once a dinosaur,
now he has no future plans.
the one thing he's afraid of
is the beating of his heart,
and the only things that get him off
are dreams falling apart...
and brunettes.
ryan hertz,
thank you for letting me live in your body.
it's been pretty good
so far.
livin in a green garage
not too far away from here.
through trial and error
he's learned to cut his own hair..
sort of.
if you see him on the street
stop and say hello,
but please don't talk for too long
cause he likes to walk alone.
ryan hertz,
thank you for letting me live in your body.
it's been pretty good
so far.
-------------------------------------------------
Haiku
She's got real sharp teeth.
They aren't in her mouth but they
still hurt like all hell.
------------------------------------------------
Haiku
Chicken trapped in cage,
quickly BLASTS through Galaxy.
Wow, still trapped in cage.
-----------------------------
in morning
it is go farm time
uh oh
spagetti zone
i lost in
monopoly
Why do i do it?
-------------------------------------------------
Haikus
We laid in the grass
and our three heads were touching.
The earth span faster.
Outside the sports bar,
chickens mingle in line for
hotdogs. I walk by.
On the porch, a kid
twirled a gun on his finger.
It was unloaded.
Madonna stood up.
Dennis passed out while Andrew
shifted in his seat.
I was caught staring
at the ground. I looked up and
introduced myself.
I think the rice I
cooked is too spicy to eat
in just one sitting.
-------------------------------------------------
Animal,
Take off your clothes.
Our jaws are the same.
We all hurt to move.
Independent,
of not one thing.
Barely even being,
Somehow you are being.
I wholey love
your fragility.
Not a moment
has broken you.
A fear of loss
runs right you through.
And you will be gone.
Can you see
more than eyes?
Animal dies.
That one was a dog.
Hair and skin,
Growing again.
Life is a freak,
You are the wind.
I wholey love
your fragility.
Not a moment
has broken you.
A fear of loss
runs right you through.
And you will be gone.
Every breathe
is put to sleep.
-------------------------------------------------
Water, water, soon I will be with you,
Doing everything I hope to do.
Animating puzzles in a city,
Helping all the women grow their hair.
I fell into the ocean with no clothes on,
My mind becoming salt inside a throat.
My body was expanding very quickly,
We could feel everything to be.
God is the pigeon out your window.
Everybody walking in the street.
Standing on her doorstep waiting anxiously.
Fat guy in the pool with his shirt on.
We can imitate an imitation.
I am billions of years old.
I am a non-migratory population,
tired of feeling like a captive.
-------------------------------------------------
The Weather
There are a million roads
that you will never travel on.
A million moments to be
wanted that are gone.
And in your seeking
there is nothing to be found.
I guarantee that you'll be
buried in the ground.
Soon it will be time for you
to pay back all your loans,
And serve your time as
a pile of used bones.
The void you came from
is right where you'll end up,
It's the same place that you
have always been.
You have always been.
Are you bored with being?
Are you tired of sitting
as you are?
The world that you've been
waiting on is now.
There is nothing left for
you to figure out.
It might be useful
to go happily insane.
Maybe admit there's never
anything to blame.
Life is always fair
when you look at things this way.
It's the same place that you
have always been.
You have always been.
Are you bored with being?
Are you tired of sitting
as you are?
The world that you've been
waiting on is now.
There is nothing left for you
to figure out.
Well here we go!
And there we went!
The world that you've been
waiting on.
All that I know,
All that I've said!
There's nothing left
to figure out.
It's just the weather,
You have always been.
-------------------------------------------------
Haikus
a tree is why we
can breathe air back in again;
other half of lungs.
even the smallest
rock is full of things unknown,
so look at it close!
everything i do
brings me closer to my death.
that's so exciting!
--------------------------------
The Pulsing Of
a rock becomes
sand
landing
in many places
where pieces of
you
will some day stand.
-------------
Haikus
i woke to birds, so
the morning felt like summer,
as did my armpits.
staring at a rock,
i don't even have a head.
where do i see from?
i'll knit chris a scarf
and finish just in time for
the summer to come.
hopefully this month
i will be at shining rock,
where i ripped a tent.
it rained heavily
and my friend was unprepared
so she ran ahead.
this life has been good.
i may cry when it ends but
i will be smiling.
my head is pounding.
i banged it up real good at
the three-headed dog.
Inyan
he is soft and shapeless
and his blood is blue;
well so is me
and so is you.
in a place of darkness
he made one two,
and shaped the sea
his blood ran through.
the power in the waters
began to rise
and made of spirit,
it became the skies.
a voice spoke in the darkness
the first of times,
said, "I am Sky,
the giver of life."
---------------------------------
Happy Dead Amphibian
how dare you
crawl out of the sea
to did what you do
and how dare me?
the first gasp for air
and gasp for a she,
ambitions of now
with your rich family.
well look what you did,
happy dead amphibian.
all smiles in the end
my greedy wet friend.
i've got ghosts in my gut
all sporting webbed feet
cause i'm such a slut
and you'd never retreat.
rescue those kids
before it's too late
don't let them die
they have lives to hate.
well look what you did,
happy dead amphibian.
all smiles in the end
all smiles in the end.
how dare you
and how dare me
crawl out of the sea
and do what we deed.
-------------------------------------------------
End of Talking Carp
when my face falls off
and my bones fall apart,
i don't know where you will be.
you might think my name
and my blood are the same,
but neither of these things are me.
when you stare into the sun
as if it's the only one
your foolishness keeps me warm.
at the end of the day
when i'm done with the play
i know i know i know i've done you harm.
such a silly game
we play when we're awake,
continued in even our dreams.
and i love your love i do
though it burns me through and through,
boy you know i'm just exactly what i seems.
oh the shark bit the fish,
hadn't eaten in days,
and sang "please don't
let this feeling swim away."
got a lot of bodies
on my fishing hook,
but that won't bring
back yesterday.
it costs your death for your life,
so better not to love your wife,
when everything you love will bring you pain.
to love your death makes more sense,
from this side of the fence,
where everything is going down the drain.
the shark bit the fish,
hadn't eaten in days,
and sang "please don't
let this feeling swim away."
got a lot of bodies
on my fishing hook,
but that won't bring
back yesterday.
-------------------------------------------------
though you may be from mars,
your voice still makes me cry.
i try to see so far,
to know before i die.
big train blocks the tracks,
doesn't know the past.
the wood is full of cracks,
and i feel old too fast.
goodbye to forever time,
to dogshit on the lawn.
will i kiss your face again
before one of us is gone?
hold on to my hand you evil woman
and we will find our way to oblivion.
---------------------------------------
drunk on captivity
he looks for a home,
not to fall back on,
but to slowly become.
she tries to break out
of flowers in particular,
tells him to come along
though he's been there before.
they lay down together,
hating past lovers,
loving each other
with blood on their teeth.
the moon sitting quietly,
a long way from this affair,
shows the shine in her hair
but not what's underneath.
things might not be ok, no,
things might not be ok.
little pieces of life,
they might feel nice,
but that's never the way
that they stay.
i might not be ok, love,
you might not be ok.
what's burning inside
seems to be the whole ride,
i don't think that it goes away.
i don't think that it goes away.
---------------------------------------
you were almost out of air,
racing for the silver skin
and if you never made it there
whoa god you'd be so vague now.
you have a glass yellow face
and a curly red crown
and a shiny brown head
and you never look down.
your smiles are real
how often they come,
teach me to do that,
i'd like to know how.
----------------------------------------
in the fall
attention drifted,
she stumbled naked
to his room.
i was drunk
my gloom unlifted,
the carpet sang me
a dreadful tune.
i saw her soon
crying in the moon,
he must not know
what a flower's for.
i held her tight
and it felt alright,
like a dying wave
pulled from the shore.
i am disappearing,
i am disappearing.
when i look for me,
not a thing to see
and that's what i've been fearing.
i am disappearing,
emptiness i'm nearing.
it's hard to find
a man behind
this body that i am steering.
now i carry
a beastly urge
to rid this vile
man of life.
'tis a wish
i long to purge,
i think i'd do it
with a knife.
and in this strife
i spurn my wife,
though still i
often laud her.
might sound gruff
this kind of stuff,
'tis my ideal
fodder.
i am disappearing,
i am disappearing.
when i look for me,
not a thing to see
and that's what i've been fearing.
i am disappearing,
emptiness i'm nearing.
it's hard to find
a man behind
this body that i am steering.
-----------------------------------------------
Hersal (Right On Time)
burrows in
to ears of bystanders,
shaking the frame
of their torsos
with otherworldly forms
displayed upon
ordinary piano.
The mystical
Fives chug-a-chug ever onward
along Cliffside, Neuron,
Meadow, and Wind
like a genitalia avalanche
barrels down Cartoon Mountain,
growing and roaring.
Hersal grew so fast, he
died by pork & beans
or
hitting the bottom
of the Mountain
first.
---------------------------------------
what dared take the
first breath of air,
crawled up gasping
for oxygen and
fucking? with
ambitions of family
barbeques, naked
cheerleaders, automobiles,
doorbells,
a sense of
satisfaction?
how could you?
-----------------------------------------
we first met in buddy guy's hotel
room.
he was naked i think,
flat on his stomach,
unconscious, with all
his hair cut off, it wasn't
him at all. not even
close. you were still
in awe, watching over
him while i urinated
quietly in the corner
in what appeared to
be a toilet
but was actually a
toilet-shaped guitar
(very expensive)
and as i left we planned
to meet under less surreal
circumstances, girl.
-------------------------------
not a thing as ugly
within me
as the vastness of
my jealousy.
grows as an old
pile of letters
accumulating in
the corner of
my shelter.
drives nearly
every action in
which i've engaged
that has led to
suffering.
but my guilt is
so beautiful,
big and warm,
helps me love.
---------------------------------------
if anybody has
found even the illusion
of value in this chaotic
barage of indescribable
emotion and nonsensical
stimulus,
please fill me in.
---------------------------------------
i am in ann arbor.
where can all this snot come from?
ashley brought me soup.
could it come from the mysterious emptiness?
the snot, not the soup.
----------------------------------------
Girl With Dog
you are walking towards the road,
you have a dog.
i am driving on the road.
i hope you see me coming
cause i'm not stopping.
oh girl with dog,
why won't you be my wife?
we could live in an apartment
that's fine with having pets.
oh girl with dog,
marry me tonight,
then we'll hang out tomorrow
and make sure we don't hate each other.
though your dog may be a boy or a girl,
you are definitely a girl.
i hope your dog is on a leash,
cause i'm not stopping
and i'd hate to hit your dog with my car.
oh girl with dog,
why won't you be my wife?
we could live in an apartment
that's fine with having pets.
oh girl with dog,
marry me tonight,
then we'll hang out tomorrow
and make sure we don't hate each other.
you are a girl with a dog,
i am a boy with a car.
you are a girl with a dog,
i am a boy with a car.
yeah, yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah... (repeat)
-------------------------------------------
cold day
slow walk
soft shoes
can't talk
changes
long gone
old heart
moves on
it's a tired climb
to the solitude of only mind.
lost cause
sit still
blast off
he will
nice car
dead life
brain fight
new wife
it's a tired climb
to the solitude of only mind.
---------------------------------------
A Way To Go
a girl, she is the kind
who does just what she likes
on various nights
and nobody admits that they mind.
well, i used to mind,
but the breakfasts of pain,
they turned me to rain.
now i'm leaving you people behind.
hey, it's a way to go,
can't think of a better,
to radiant lake
where the horizon is fake,
and every lie is lifted by the sun.
hey, it's a way to go,
can't think of a better.
but after a taste,
you'll find it's a waste,
and maybe you'll get out of this alive.
i hope that you get out of this alive.
oh, she'll make you blind.
you'll be lost in the snow,
shouldn't i know?
well we all know what you're trying to find.
ok, i'll try not to laugh.
sure things could work out,
of this there's no doubt,
but come on buddy, you do the math.
but hey, it's a way to go,
can't think of a better,
to radiant lake
where the horizon is fake,
and every lie is lifted by the sun.
your life may be
nothing but a falling feather,
or something you found
on either side of the ground,
well i know my life's nothing at all.
i know my life's nothing at all.
a way to go. it's a way to go.
it's a way to go.
-------------------------------------------
Q: LIFE PUZZLE?
A: exploding roller coaster.
Q: LOVE PUZZLE?
A: warm functioning breasts.
Q: TO SCREW IN A LIGHT BULB?
A: one to screw it in and _____ to _________.
Q: WHY DO I DO IT?
A: berries taste amazing.
it is difficult,
making the full
commitment to one's
particular form
of awareness,
hence the poor
scientists picking
apart the empty
material that
shapes their
dreams.
---------------------------------------------
being born gives me
a headache. what the
hell happened last
night?
------------------------------------------------
self sensation wavers
slightly in the general
vicinity of
concept body frame,
limited only by
expectation of
continued imprisonment.
be careful! don't
fall into yourself!
it's a long way down.
-------------------------------------------
flower to flower, what
part is not just life?
be unawake and a seed
or conscious and decomposing.
stare at crying
faces with crappy paint
streaking all over their
cheeks, laugh at the paint
with a weird stuck smile
and eyelids forced closed,
with your insides cleaned
out. i'll laugh with ya
Pops, cause we have inside
jokes we each have
yet to hear.
oh, fuck you for
that one time you
yelled at me on the
phone like i was
ungrateful.
you show those
whateverthehellyoumeet
next, i'm right behind
you, just give me some
time to figure out how
stupid and silly all
of this breathing shit
is.
it is
then that we will
battle evil ghosts
as an invincible
duo of the afterlife,
saving every skeleton
princess.
-------------------------------------------------
he wrote everything
i will ever write with
his genitals,
with his
total insane devotion
to a woman nobody
ever deserved. i inherited
his healthy dose of
delusion,
now he's gone.
he was beautiful,
i loved him a lot.
-------------------------------------------------
Ian,
odd bond. just
drunk enough. the
roles, roles, rolls
rawls. the sidelines,
sidelines, while my
heart subverted,
wrestled. good fun.
your friend,
ryan
p.s. HAIKU
at the three-headed
dog, shit flies through pipes over
the heads of poets.
-------------------------------------------------
fades in, lives
timelessly when
sleeping, almost
cries, needs a
drummer who can
hit the snare just
late enough.
cringe.
-----------------------------------------------
to detroit.
haunted by each thing
that hurts him in his
dreams. knives
everywhere.
----------------------------------------------
indifferent to evolution,
hardwired for fucking,
how annoying.
-------------------------------------------------
learns there are many
forms of malnutrition
and many don't involve
food, his eye has
been twitching.
-------------------------------------------------
eats a little bit, looks
out the window at nothing
in particular. he feels
amazingly misunderstood
at best. running out
of enthusiasm towards
even one thing, he can't
believe she played him
that song, what a cruel
thing to do. would
gladly
give various body
parts to spend a day
with an unpredictable
stranger, hearing
something he hasn't
heard before, happy
and sober
all at once.
-------------------------------------------------
fills the day with
anything at all, moving
between places, talking
to strangers, trying to
fit comfortably into the
illusion, doing his part,
whatever that may be
(open to suggestions).
forgets the difference
between life and death,
can't wrap his mind
around it anymore,
it's gone. that is
an interesting theory
you have there, that
theories don't matter,
perhaps it is true!
he can't remember how
to set aside the weight
of things just right.
he should have listened
to kyra, here come the flies,
here they come.
----------------------------------
flat and towering over
endless falling, sun
sinking into its many
magic pits, loading
personal settings,
keyboard works right now,
he prices fishnet stockings,
always almost fired, loves
explosions.
prays to feel the ground
again that way, the way
he did that night on the
Notch Trail, almost alone,
better than alone. frowns
at the mess splattered over
heaven, wishes that Buffalo
had taken him out for good,
a way to go, can't think
of a better.
longs for an end
to longing, one hand
on her back, one holds
the gravel, and the third?
don't ask that question!
loves to consider various
graves, still partial to
being eaten by sharks,
a rabbi in a clown suit
will deliver his eulogy.
he plans to attend,
missing
some limbs, a smile your way
from the guest of honor...
then his journey begins
to that night in the
Badlands, tent pieces
blowing every which
way, a guitar in the
corner behaves like
a tent peg ought to,
the wind
drowning out all
anxiety, holding
each other for any
reason at all.
-------------------------------------------------
loves a raindrop sliding
down the window of a
minivan, grows older
by accident, rearranges
his fears.
numbers the moments
in a drunk dream, loses
track, answers a phone,
walks in on
you masturbating, doesn't
care. watches his loved
ones turn to mud, drifts
away from here at your
suggestion, never
learned how to
intentionally forget.
-------------------------------------------------
a bird in a headlight,
a monkey in the moonlight,
wet grass, old friend,
new friend.
dancing in my chair,
singing shaky,
lives in holes, got the time,
leave my mind.
awoke to the same fly,
same stomach,
cat on the couch, knock on the door,
tubes in the hall.
drowned in beerworld,
slept like an onion,
not a chance in france, ate only once,
running low on batteries.
ralph nader.
----------------------------------------------
You Are Just The Paste
if only...
if only...
if only you could feel every little thing i feel
just by holding my hand... maybe you can...
maybe you can.
if only...
if only...
if only i could see everything you see everything you need
when we touch the same tree... you and tree are in me...
what a wonderful three.
there's a house that we've built,
in a place that can't be seen.
of every hand we've been dealt,
not a one has felt clean.
our house follows me still,
and i know some day you will
know just what i mean.
you'll know just what i mean.
i'm empty... i'm empty...
now every little thing you do everything you don't say
i love you anyway... a day is just a day...
so come over and play.
if every... if every...
if every beautiful thing we have we embrace
and things with bad taste... be put in their place...
i'd not be a waste.
but i am a waste,
and you are just the paste
that keeps me having this face.
-------------------------------------------------
A Song To Me
he's lookin for a frame of reference,
one not made by the mind of a man.
he was once a dinosaur,
now he has no future plans.
the one thing he's afraid of
is the beating of his heart,
and the only things that get him off
are dreams falling apart...
and brunettes.
ryan hertz,
thank you for letting me live in your body.
it's been pretty good
so far.
livin in a green garage
not too far away from here.
through trial and error
he's learned to cut his own hair..
sort of.
if you see him on the street
stop and say hello,
but please don't talk for too long
cause he likes to walk alone.
ryan hertz,
thank you for letting me live in your body.
it's been pretty good
so far.
-------------------------------------------------
Haiku
She's got real sharp teeth.
They aren't in her mouth but they
still hurt like all hell.
------------------------------------------------
Haiku
Chicken trapped in cage,
quickly BLASTS through Galaxy.
Wow, still trapped in cage.
-----------------------------
in morning
it is go farm time
uh oh
spagetti zone
i lost in
monopoly
Why do i do it?
-------------------------------------------------
Haikus
We laid in the grass
and our three heads were touching.
The earth span faster.
Outside the sports bar,
chickens mingle in line for
hotdogs. I walk by.
On the porch, a kid
twirled a gun on his finger.
It was unloaded.
Madonna stood up.
Dennis passed out while Andrew
shifted in his seat.
I was caught staring
at the ground. I looked up and
introduced myself.
I think the rice I
cooked is too spicy to eat
in just one sitting.
-------------------------------------------------
Animal,
Take off your clothes.
Our jaws are the same.
We all hurt to move.
Independent,
of not one thing.
Barely even being,
Somehow you are being.
I wholey love
your fragility.
Not a moment
has broken you.
A fear of loss
runs right you through.
And you will be gone.
Can you see
more than eyes?
Animal dies.
That one was a dog.
Hair and skin,
Growing again.
Life is a freak,
You are the wind.
I wholey love
your fragility.
Not a moment
has broken you.
A fear of loss
runs right you through.
And you will be gone.
Every breathe
is put to sleep.
-------------------------------------------------
Water, water, soon I will be with you,
Doing everything I hope to do.
Animating puzzles in a city,
Helping all the women grow their hair.
I fell into the ocean with no clothes on,
My mind becoming salt inside a throat.
My body was expanding very quickly,
We could feel everything to be.
God is the pigeon out your window.
Everybody walking in the street.
Standing on her doorstep waiting anxiously.
Fat guy in the pool with his shirt on.
We can imitate an imitation.
I am billions of years old.
I am a non-migratory population,
tired of feeling like a captive.
-------------------------------------------------
The Weather
There are a million roads
that you will never travel on.
A million moments to be
wanted that are gone.
And in your seeking
there is nothing to be found.
I guarantee that you'll be
buried in the ground.
Soon it will be time for you
to pay back all your loans,
And serve your time as
a pile of used bones.
The void you came from
is right where you'll end up,
It's the same place that you
have always been.
You have always been.
Are you bored with being?
Are you tired of sitting
as you are?
The world that you've been
waiting on is now.
There is nothing left for
you to figure out.
It might be useful
to go happily insane.
Maybe admit there's never
anything to blame.
Life is always fair
when you look at things this way.
It's the same place that you
have always been.
You have always been.
Are you bored with being?
Are you tired of sitting
as you are?
The world that you've been
waiting on is now.
There is nothing left for you
to figure out.
Well here we go!
And there we went!
The world that you've been
waiting on.
All that I know,
All that I've said!
There's nothing left
to figure out.
It's just the weather,
You have always been.
-------------------------------------------------
Haikus
a tree is why we
can breathe air back in again;
other half of lungs.
even the smallest
rock is full of things unknown,
so look at it close!
everything i do
brings me closer to my death.
that's so exciting!
--------------------------------
The Pulsing Of
a rock becomes
sand
landing
in many places
where pieces of
you
will some day stand.
-------------
Haikus
i woke to birds, so
the morning felt like summer,
as did my armpits.
staring at a rock,
i don't even have a head.
where do i see from?
i'll knit chris a scarf
and finish just in time for
the summer to come.
hopefully this month
i will be at shining rock,
where i ripped a tent.
it rained heavily
and my friend was unprepared
so she ran ahead.
this life has been good.
i may cry when it ends but
i will be smiling.
my head is pounding.
i banged it up real good at
the three-headed dog.