I'm tired and out of strength.
There are times when it is too stressful to be me. I have been blessed in more ways than I could ever thank God for; but my life has been far from perfect. We all have our "cross to bear" and usually do a good job of not complaining and fighting through. I struggled through college and survived and have been able to somewhat become successful in my career field. Along the way the only thing keeping me together was my integrity and my dignity. So when someone attacks who I am as a person and my integrity and dignity it makes me really upset. Those that know me know that besides movies, I'm not an overly emotional person. It takes a lot to get to me. So when a person, who has no place to get involved and inserts themself into a situation , has literally brought me to tears it makes me so incredibly mad. I'm not saying I'm perfect - far from it. But I am trying to be the best person I can be considering the situation I am in. I try. It just frustrates me when a person, who should know better, completely degrades another person. I've never claimed to be anything but me - I'm flawed, but aren't we all? I just don't see why someone who should be supportive of me and love me can't be proud of me. That's all I've ever wanted. I did well in school so they'd be proud. I did extra curriculars so they'd be proud. I taught Sunday school, graduated with honors,went to college, got scholarships, volunteered, worked 3 (yes, 3!) part time jobs during my junior and senior year, and did it on my own. I worked hard so they'd be proud. Heck, I dated the silly grad student so they'd be proud. I do everything so they'd be proud.... And yet I've still fallen short in their eyes?
What more can I do?
I am out of ideas and out of strength.
Irony Is that it is Palm Sunday..
Well, work tomorrow. Hopefully I'll sleep okay.
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