Why is it so hard?
One question, why is it so hard to not think about something you don't wanna think about?
I always find myself over-thinking things, I don't know how to turn it off. I can never seem to just
forget and chill out. What mechanism is it within me that compels me to think something to death.
I feel it's already started and I kind of hate myself for it. Jesus Christ, I bother myself more than anyone
else I know....=D. Nature or nurture, what caused me to be so dysfunctional? Does everyone do this, I've
spoken some people and I guess they don't, it's so easy for them to just go with the flow. From my experience,
things are always better when things just come out naturally without force. This is all kind of obvious, but I just
feel like maybe if I write about it enough, and explain it to myself enough I'll somehow unlock the ability to
become more
free......
Someday I figure it'll eventually come, from comfort and hopefully from love. Maybe those will calm me, put
me at ease and just make me feel good enough to just be myself and not project and sort of false-self to others.
I don't think I'm fake, ever.I guess I just that I feel that little by little I slide. Slide down this slope of anxieties which
cause me to act and feel different, and I can't get a foot or hand in a groove. I can't pull myself up..unable to get to
the top to see the beautiful horizons that would be available to ME. Just me, because of who I am. It's like I'm trying
to find a detour.
The detour sucked and now I'm muddled in more shit than I've ever known......But don't give up on me....please?
I'm sure I'll definitely come around, or maybe I just need a helping hand, although I won't be looking for one. If it
happens to come along, I'll be glad to accept it though. Just give me more time.
I always find myself over-thinking things, I don't know how to turn it off. I can never seem to just
forget and chill out. What mechanism is it within me that compels me to think something to death.
I feel it's already started and I kind of hate myself for it. Jesus Christ, I bother myself more than anyone
else I know....=D. Nature or nurture, what caused me to be so dysfunctional? Does everyone do this, I've
spoken some people and I guess they don't, it's so easy for them to just go with the flow. From my experience,
things are always better when things just come out naturally without force. This is all kind of obvious, but I just
feel like maybe if I write about it enough, and explain it to myself enough I'll somehow unlock the ability to
become more
free......
Someday I figure it'll eventually come, from comfort and hopefully from love. Maybe those will calm me, put
me at ease and just make me feel good enough to just be myself and not project and sort of false-self to others.
I don't think I'm fake, ever.I guess I just that I feel that little by little I slide. Slide down this slope of anxieties which
cause me to act and feel different, and I can't get a foot or hand in a groove. I can't pull myself up..unable to get to
the top to see the beautiful horizons that would be available to ME. Just me, because of who I am. It's like I'm trying
to find a detour.
The detour sucked and now I'm muddled in more shit than I've ever known......But don't give up on me....please?
I'm sure I'll definitely come around, or maybe I just need a helping hand, although I won't be looking for one. If it
happens to come along, I'll be glad to accept it though. Just give me more time.