(no subject)
I find myself feeling guilty about things i have doing to myself. The drugs. But at the same time i only have guilt because of what my friends or family might think. WHy should i feel this way? Its not their bodies , its mine. Besides, i like the drugs. I am young. I should be having lots of experimentation.
Last night i was looking in the mirror. Looking at my eyes. They are surounded by dark pigment, Not makeup...but obviously what i have been doing is having physical Obvious side effects.
I was out friday night. Club in riverside. Had meth and was awake for 2 days. Then drank and DRank at the club, and had vicoden,muscle relaxers, and weed.
What am i doing to myself? I am having a good time. Thats what i am doing.
Sometimes i wish i could break the mirror.I dont want to have to decide what i am going to do with myself, Who or WHat am i to become.My curiosity is getting to me, and will i be able to turn down the heroin next time. Or will i use it, and fall victim to the same sickness as some of my family.
I do not know.
Last night i was looking in the mirror. Looking at my eyes. They are surounded by dark pigment, Not makeup...but obviously what i have been doing is having physical Obvious side effects.
I was out friday night. Club in riverside. Had meth and was awake for 2 days. Then drank and DRank at the club, and had vicoden,muscle relaxers, and weed.
What am i doing to myself? I am having a good time. Thats what i am doing.
Sometimes i wish i could break the mirror.I dont want to have to decide what i am going to do with myself, Who or WHat am i to become.My curiosity is getting to me, and will i be able to turn down the heroin next time. Or will i use it, and fall victim to the same sickness as some of my family.
I do not know.