(no subject)
im not writing this entry for sympathy. im writing it bc i need to. i cant/dont wanna sit here along in my basement with nothing to do. i cant sleep. i dont sleep anymore.
friday nite, November 5th, started out on a bad note. mike scheduled me to work 3pm to 11pm so i figured i would get up early and clean my car. i slept late and was late to work. work was boring. 8 hours of sitting in the box counting money but i knew a whole bunch of my friends from work were going to smithtown for a party - i told them i would call them when i got outta work and i would met up with them. at 11 andrew came back for me with his friends and i followed them out there. From hempstead turnpike to the bethpage parkway to the southern state to sunken meadow parkway to some street in smithtown. then i followed him down these windy roads that had no street lights on. we get to this house and you have to walk threw the woods to get to it. the house isnt built - it has walls ya but no doors, windows or anything like that. i was pretty much the only one sober bc i had to drive him that nite. so lauren and jackie decided to come with me bc they want to get home. by bringing them back to Levittown i knew i was gonna be late. so drunken andrew trys to give me directions to get out of this place but his directions suck (all I got outta them where to watch out for the tree) and i see a cop who is looking for the party we just came from. jackie and lauren are pretty damn drunk and i pull up next to the cop - he is nice and leads me out to the main road. then another drive helped us make sure we were in the rite direction. at this point in the nite it was already around 1250am, i was cold and pissed and i jsut wasnt in a very good mood. i just wanted to get home.
i had just gotten onto the southern state and the truck wasnt doing so good. the check gages light kept going on and then my phone went off. i picked up and it was nicole. which was odd bc me and her didnt really talk that much up till that point. she said that she had to talk to me and she asked if i was driving. i told her that i was driving and that id call her when i had gotten home bc i was having a really bad nite and she replied "its about to get worse" she sounded very upset. she had to tell me now bc i cant be told that and then drive another 40 mins to and hour before i got home. eventually she told me that something was wrong. and i asked who it was about bc now i was worried and she said Allison Walker. i was wondering what was wrong with allison bc i had talked with her only a few hours before at work. that was when she told me that there was a really bad accident and allison was pronounced dead at the hospital. i started crying while driving saying "NO NO NO NO THIS CANT BE HAPPENING NO NO NO" and i got jackie and lauren scared. i pulled over to the side of the road and just started crying. jackie and lauren kept asking what was wrong. i pulled myself together enough to tell jackie and lauren what was wrong. after i told them they became hysterical. all lauren said was "she was suppose to hang out with us tonite" nicole wasnt kidding when she told me that my nite was about to get much worse.
i dont know how i got home that nite. i drove of course but i could not tell you my exact route to save the life of me. i was crying and shaking the whole way home. lauren and jackie where crying the whole way home. the three of us went to laurens house.
you always hear about accidents like these on the news and it never really hits home sadly just bc you dont know the person. allison didnt deserve this. no one hated her. there was no need to. she was nice to everyone. i couldnt drive few days. i was too afraid. im still afraid. i wont drive the jimmy every again. i just cant.
work was horrible. i walked in to half the store not even being able to come to work. i went to punch in and justin came up and gave me a hug. when dellaera came in he was tearing, i hugged him and i cried too. i just sat in my office. i couldnt do anything. i couldnt open the cabinet where her till was. we were allowed to dress up for halloween and if you dressed up one of the cashiers took a picture of you in your costume and it was posted in customer service. allison was one of the few ppl who dressed up. she wore a white shirt with wings and a wand - she was an angel.
that nite i couldnt sleep. dellaera twowayed me - he was wandering around levittown - he had no where to go. nicole picked him up and brought him to my house. we stayed up pretty much all nite bc no one could sleep. i brought him to work in the morning and i picked up jackie, she didnt wanna be alone. no one did. we all were better when we were together. ppl on the outside just didnt seem to understand.
i shouldnt have had to gone to a wake for my 18 yr old friend. things like that shouldnt be. parents shouldnt have to say goodbye to their daughter like that. i picked nicole up and we went to the wake. when we walked in michelle was up at the casket with allisons mom. the room was silent except for the sobbing you heard coming from michelle in the front of the room. me and nicole started to cry. i cant describe the feeling i felt during this time. i had to go to work for an hour bc melissa was covering my shift but she couldnt get there on time. i walked into work and they had ppl from the other stores there working bc no one wanted to work, no one could work. i walked into customer service and knocked on the door for erin to open it so i could get my till bc im in customer service on monday nites. she opened the door and she was crying. i walked in and all she said was "i couldnt take it, i moved her till, i cant look at it, i open the cabinet and i cry. this isnt fair, she should be at work rite now, this just isnt fair" i always think about the same things when im working. now whenever i work in the office i cant stay in there for a long period of time. i come out every 15 mins. it drives me insane to be in there. again work was horrible. the mgrs all took turns leaving the store to go to the wake. when melissa showed up i went back to the wake but now the line to get into pay your respects to allison went threw the funeral home out the door and down onto the sidewalk along side of hempstead turnpike. this just shows how much allison was loved and still is.
at work, i walked by the store visions and write ups that jessica was filing and on top was allisons write ups. one for her till being short - just like it always was so me and her could spend countless days in the office while i got to count her out bc she was going to be put on permanent cash control and she would steal my chair bc she thought it was comfy and another for her being caught on store vision using her cellphone on register.
nothing is the same anymore. it will never be the same.
i miss you walkface. its not the same without you here. it wont ever be the same. your an angel now - watch over us all. love you allison.
Rest in Peace
Allison Walker
June 18, 1986 - November 5, 2004
till the day we meet again
in my heart is where ill keep you friend
friday nite, November 5th, started out on a bad note. mike scheduled me to work 3pm to 11pm so i figured i would get up early and clean my car. i slept late and was late to work. work was boring. 8 hours of sitting in the box counting money but i knew a whole bunch of my friends from work were going to smithtown for a party - i told them i would call them when i got outta work and i would met up with them. at 11 andrew came back for me with his friends and i followed them out there. From hempstead turnpike to the bethpage parkway to the southern state to sunken meadow parkway to some street in smithtown. then i followed him down these windy roads that had no street lights on. we get to this house and you have to walk threw the woods to get to it. the house isnt built - it has walls ya but no doors, windows or anything like that. i was pretty much the only one sober bc i had to drive him that nite. so lauren and jackie decided to come with me bc they want to get home. by bringing them back to Levittown i knew i was gonna be late. so drunken andrew trys to give me directions to get out of this place but his directions suck (all I got outta them where to watch out for the tree) and i see a cop who is looking for the party we just came from. jackie and lauren are pretty damn drunk and i pull up next to the cop - he is nice and leads me out to the main road. then another drive helped us make sure we were in the rite direction. at this point in the nite it was already around 1250am, i was cold and pissed and i jsut wasnt in a very good mood. i just wanted to get home.
i had just gotten onto the southern state and the truck wasnt doing so good. the check gages light kept going on and then my phone went off. i picked up and it was nicole. which was odd bc me and her didnt really talk that much up till that point. she said that she had to talk to me and she asked if i was driving. i told her that i was driving and that id call her when i had gotten home bc i was having a really bad nite and she replied "its about to get worse" she sounded very upset. she had to tell me now bc i cant be told that and then drive another 40 mins to and hour before i got home. eventually she told me that something was wrong. and i asked who it was about bc now i was worried and she said Allison Walker. i was wondering what was wrong with allison bc i had talked with her only a few hours before at work. that was when she told me that there was a really bad accident and allison was pronounced dead at the hospital. i started crying while driving saying "NO NO NO NO THIS CANT BE HAPPENING NO NO NO" and i got jackie and lauren scared. i pulled over to the side of the road and just started crying. jackie and lauren kept asking what was wrong. i pulled myself together enough to tell jackie and lauren what was wrong. after i told them they became hysterical. all lauren said was "she was suppose to hang out with us tonite" nicole wasnt kidding when she told me that my nite was about to get much worse.
i dont know how i got home that nite. i drove of course but i could not tell you my exact route to save the life of me. i was crying and shaking the whole way home. lauren and jackie where crying the whole way home. the three of us went to laurens house.
you always hear about accidents like these on the news and it never really hits home sadly just bc you dont know the person. allison didnt deserve this. no one hated her. there was no need to. she was nice to everyone. i couldnt drive few days. i was too afraid. im still afraid. i wont drive the jimmy every again. i just cant.
work was horrible. i walked in to half the store not even being able to come to work. i went to punch in and justin came up and gave me a hug. when dellaera came in he was tearing, i hugged him and i cried too. i just sat in my office. i couldnt do anything. i couldnt open the cabinet where her till was. we were allowed to dress up for halloween and if you dressed up one of the cashiers took a picture of you in your costume and it was posted in customer service. allison was one of the few ppl who dressed up. she wore a white shirt with wings and a wand - she was an angel.
that nite i couldnt sleep. dellaera twowayed me - he was wandering around levittown - he had no where to go. nicole picked him up and brought him to my house. we stayed up pretty much all nite bc no one could sleep. i brought him to work in the morning and i picked up jackie, she didnt wanna be alone. no one did. we all were better when we were together. ppl on the outside just didnt seem to understand.
i shouldnt have had to gone to a wake for my 18 yr old friend. things like that shouldnt be. parents shouldnt have to say goodbye to their daughter like that. i picked nicole up and we went to the wake. when we walked in michelle was up at the casket with allisons mom. the room was silent except for the sobbing you heard coming from michelle in the front of the room. me and nicole started to cry. i cant describe the feeling i felt during this time. i had to go to work for an hour bc melissa was covering my shift but she couldnt get there on time. i walked into work and they had ppl from the other stores there working bc no one wanted to work, no one could work. i walked into customer service and knocked on the door for erin to open it so i could get my till bc im in customer service on monday nites. she opened the door and she was crying. i walked in and all she said was "i couldnt take it, i moved her till, i cant look at it, i open the cabinet and i cry. this isnt fair, she should be at work rite now, this just isnt fair" i always think about the same things when im working. now whenever i work in the office i cant stay in there for a long period of time. i come out every 15 mins. it drives me insane to be in there. again work was horrible. the mgrs all took turns leaving the store to go to the wake. when melissa showed up i went back to the wake but now the line to get into pay your respects to allison went threw the funeral home out the door and down onto the sidewalk along side of hempstead turnpike. this just shows how much allison was loved and still is.
at work, i walked by the store visions and write ups that jessica was filing and on top was allisons write ups. one for her till being short - just like it always was so me and her could spend countless days in the office while i got to count her out bc she was going to be put on permanent cash control and she would steal my chair bc she thought it was comfy and another for her being caught on store vision using her cellphone on register.
nothing is the same anymore. it will never be the same.
i miss you walkface. its not the same without you here. it wont ever be the same. your an angel now - watch over us all. love you allison.
Rest in Peace
Allison Walker
June 18, 1986 - November 5, 2004
till the day we meet again
in my heart is where ill keep you friend