continued from the last entry...to clear up some vague details
so last week i had to leave school two days early because my grandma was sent straight to ICU and wasnt expected to live for more than a few more days. so my mother asked for me to come home early just in case something were to happen i would be there. i go home the next day on the soonest train leaving salinas. i get down there and it seemed that over night things had changed completely. my grandmother was out of ICU, successfully recovered from a surgery and was doing much much better. this was a complete suprise to everyone in my family even the doctors were suprised. so a few days later the hospital sent her home and i went from single college student to a fulltime social worker for noneother than my grandma. yes i now work for my grandma. its actually kind of fun but yet kinda scary because you never know what is going to happen. see the scariest thing is that no one knows how long my grandma is going to last. my aunt and mom sat me down before i agreed to taking this job and told me, "melissa, we think its great that you want to help with grandma and all but we want you to understand how serious this job can be, and we want to know if your ready for what may happen when you're doing this for grandma..." and i shook my head and agreed. they continued with(alongside the doctors), "melissa you understand that you could come home one day from work and grandma could be dead, right?" and thats when my heart dropped. but i knew deep down i could handle it, at least i knew that i could handle it far better than anyone else in my family. so anyways, i am my grandma's social worker, alongside working full time at the wharf. i have been a very very busy girl since ive been home.
now, moving on to the boy issue. so about four weeks ago nick and i had progressed a lot with our relationship, we saw eachother again and we were talking more and more, it seemed asthought i was always talking to him. then about three weeks ago i recieved a phone call at about two in the moring, where i was wide awake due to intoxication, it was from mr nick of course. and i warned him that i was intoxicated, because he doesnt usually like talking to me when i am or have been drinkingm, totally understandable right? anyways...somewhere in that convo a discussion point was brought up and it made both of us very uncomfortable. so after that night we didnt talk to one another for a couple of days. eventually we talked again and we talked about what happened that night and we both agreed that things were better now. but then after that...POOF! he disappeared from the face of the earth, i havent heard from him since. now deep deep down inside i am super duper pissed off at the asshole...i mean come on! you could had at least said something like i dont wanna talk to you anymore or something...but no nothing. and on the outside im trying so hard to figure out what is wrong and what i did wrong. i am just hurting so much from this and i had a feeling this was going to die soon but i didnt expect it to stop like this. and by all means i didnt want it to stop but i would have been a lot more happy knowing whats up rather than just disappearance. the whole thing makes me sad and now that its been like four or three weeks it makes me hate the guy more and more. i just never expected him to do something like that, i would have thought, or thought he was nicer than to just be an ass like that. so thats why in my last entry i wrote, i hate boys, i feel like ive been used and i feel pain. may sound cheesey but thats how it felt. but luckily im losing that feeling as time slowly goes on.
now, moving on to the boy issue. so about four weeks ago nick and i had progressed a lot with our relationship, we saw eachother again and we were talking more and more, it seemed asthought i was always talking to him. then about three weeks ago i recieved a phone call at about two in the moring, where i was wide awake due to intoxication, it was from mr nick of course. and i warned him that i was intoxicated, because he doesnt usually like talking to me when i am or have been drinkingm, totally understandable right? anyways...somewhere in that convo a discussion point was brought up and it made both of us very uncomfortable. so after that night we didnt talk to one another for a couple of days. eventually we talked again and we talked about what happened that night and we both agreed that things were better now. but then after that...POOF! he disappeared from the face of the earth, i havent heard from him since. now deep deep down inside i am super duper pissed off at the asshole...i mean come on! you could had at least said something like i dont wanna talk to you anymore or something...but no nothing. and on the outside im trying so hard to figure out what is wrong and what i did wrong. i am just hurting so much from this and i had a feeling this was going to die soon but i didnt expect it to stop like this. and by all means i didnt want it to stop but i would have been a lot more happy knowing whats up rather than just disappearance. the whole thing makes me sad and now that its been like four or three weeks it makes me hate the guy more and more. i just never expected him to do something like that, i would have thought, or thought he was nicer than to just be an ass like that. so thats why in my last entry i wrote, i hate boys, i feel like ive been used and i feel pain. may sound cheesey but thats how it felt. but luckily im losing that feeling as time slowly goes on.