(no subject)
Because I don't want to be that person. Because now I'm going through an all too infrequent moment of sanity where my emotions and thoughts align instead of being in dysharmony as they typically are. Because I don't want to be the selfish, uncaring, violently short tempered, forgetful, confused horrible person that's ruled by (in the Freudian sense) their Id, but instead reach and hold that point of being Ego. Because I don't want my insecurities to haunt me day in day out as they do, because I don't want my short comings to be replayed in a loop for days at a time in my thoughts to the suffocation of any other productive cogitation. Because I want to be a better person. Because I want to live up to what I believe not only a man should be (which is caring, considerate, slow to anger and quick to cool, thoughtful and sincere and rarely impulsive) but can be. Because I'm so far from there yet I won't give up. Because I've disappointed and unnecessarily abused too many people that I care for and care for me. Because I want it. Because I need it. Because if I don't try for it there's nothing higher worth striving for.