(no subject)
so for those of you i havent already told, i got a new job. but before i can start this job i had to take a drug test. said drug test, for aforementioned job, was scheduled for today. lauren and i were leaving for our respective destinations at the same time and just before i walked out the door i instinctively went to the bathroom. (foreshadowing) -darn, i'm going to regret doing this- i said to lauren when i realized that going to take a drug test meant having to pee in a cup. (more foreshadowing) -whatever, i'll just drink a lot of water,- i thought. so i filled up my water bottle, grabbed my bike, and headed out the door.
15 minutes later i was at the clinic. i handed the lady at the front desk my paperwork and ID and she told me to follow her.
uh. i started to panic. my water bottle is completely full and i JUST went pee at home, 15 minutes ago. i thought you always had to wait at doctor's offices. i didnt even have an appointment... they just told me to come in during business hours. UGH.
so i took a few huge gulps of water and handed the lady my coat and bag and all the items from my pockets. and i went into the bathroom. there was no way i was going to be able to produce enough urine for this test. no way. a few minutes later i came out.
-uh, i cant pee right now,- i said. the nurse took it in stride and told me to drink some water in the lobby and come back in 30 minutes. i downed my entire nalgene bottle in the next 5 minutes and waited. staring at the awful pink and teal paintings on the wall. why do all doctors offices use those really bad monet color combinations. i mean, pink and teal, so bad. thirty minutes pass and i'm pretty sure i still dont have to pee. the nurse walks out and tells me to follow her again. oh geez. this is not going to work.
i feel like a failure. WHO DOES THIS? is it really that hard to pee? i bet the nurses are all laughing at me in the break room... -haha, remember that girl who came in and COULDN'T PEE? haha, that was great.-
i down another nalgene bottle and waited around FOR AN HOUR AND A HALF while the clinic is closed for lunch. by the time i can go back in there to pee in the damn cup i am seriously afraid for my bladder. one of two things was going to happen:
1. i was going to pee my pants before the clinic opened back up. not only would this be rather embarrassing for a 23-year-old, it would also mean i wouldnt have anything left to pee in the cup with and i'd be doomed to deal with this whole thing again.
2. my bladder would explode from holding it and i'd end up in the ER
anyway, neither of those things happened and i had ABSOLUTELY no problem peeing in the cup ON THE THIRD TRY. yeah. everybody laugh at the stupid girl. the stupid girl who cant pee.
15 minutes later i was at the clinic. i handed the lady at the front desk my paperwork and ID and she told me to follow her.
uh. i started to panic. my water bottle is completely full and i JUST went pee at home, 15 minutes ago. i thought you always had to wait at doctor's offices. i didnt even have an appointment... they just told me to come in during business hours. UGH.
so i took a few huge gulps of water and handed the lady my coat and bag and all the items from my pockets. and i went into the bathroom. there was no way i was going to be able to produce enough urine for this test. no way. a few minutes later i came out.
-uh, i cant pee right now,- i said. the nurse took it in stride and told me to drink some water in the lobby and come back in 30 minutes. i downed my entire nalgene bottle in the next 5 minutes and waited. staring at the awful pink and teal paintings on the wall. why do all doctors offices use those really bad monet color combinations. i mean, pink and teal, so bad. thirty minutes pass and i'm pretty sure i still dont have to pee. the nurse walks out and tells me to follow her again. oh geez. this is not going to work.
i feel like a failure. WHO DOES THIS? is it really that hard to pee? i bet the nurses are all laughing at me in the break room... -haha, remember that girl who came in and COULDN'T PEE? haha, that was great.-
i down another nalgene bottle and waited around FOR AN HOUR AND A HALF while the clinic is closed for lunch. by the time i can go back in there to pee in the damn cup i am seriously afraid for my bladder. one of two things was going to happen:
1. i was going to pee my pants before the clinic opened back up. not only would this be rather embarrassing for a 23-year-old, it would also mean i wouldnt have anything left to pee in the cup with and i'd be doomed to deal with this whole thing again.
2. my bladder would explode from holding it and i'd end up in the ER
anyway, neither of those things happened and i had ABSOLUTELY no problem peeing in the cup ON THE THIRD TRY. yeah. everybody laugh at the stupid girl. the stupid girl who cant pee.