struggle.
theres alot of things that bother me...
one of them is lies. i hate lies.
theres a saying that you're only as good as the company you keep.
i dont necessarily believe that word by word
but i do think its true with the close company
like people you hang out with at least once a week.
and this brings me to my inner struggle
maybe to the core of why i have trouble with just letting it go.
brock, one of leseans best friends.. cheats on his girlfriend
of more than 4 years.. it think they've been together off and on for at least 5 yrs.
the broke up before because he cheated on her.
everyone and there momma knows how brock is when it comes to him and being faithful.
he uses leseans phone and sometimes mine to call numbers he has in his wallet
today i heard him talking to a girl on the phone telling whoever it was
that they just got back from picking up lesean from work
he hasn't picked up brock from work since a week ago (when i was away)
lesean's been home for a couple of hours.
on the 4th of July he went into some room with this chick
came out 45 mins later with a smile on his face
her hair was messed up
and everytime we asked him what happened.. out of fun, he just smiled and said..
"I" Didnt do anything
indicating she did, he didnt
well the girl was one of kelly's (leseans step moms) friends and i got a call the next day
from kelly saying the girl really liked brock and that she found him on myspace and that
brock told her that he'd call her around 5pm but the girl hadn't heard from him.
and when i gave lesean the phone to talk to kelly he just didnt the "im not here" look
...
now I know my friends aren't perfect angles but when they are dating someone, especially
dating someone they keep there hands to themselves.
if lesean were doing that to me, i'd want someone to tell.
i want to mallory
i think it's unfair what brock is doing to her
if he's going to do that he should let her move on with her life
she deserves someone who will treat her like she should be treated.
i don't know why i don't say anything to her..
lesean said just stay out of it..
it's not right.
and i like Brock.. him and lesean are VERY close.. and he helps lesean
they've been friends forever and i wouldnt tell her to piss brock off
or bc i don't like him..
just the fact mallory deserves better.
but i don't know how mallory would handle it
i don't know what i would tell her
i don't know if she knew then she'd go crazy, tell brock and brock somehow
would cover up and have me look like the idiot.
.. so that's phase 1.
phase 2 is that lesean puts up with it.
he cover's for him.
so he lies.
if he does that how can i be 100% sure that he won't do the same thing to me?
it's not an issue of trust.
it's an issue of fact.
right in front of my face.
.
one of them is lies. i hate lies.
theres a saying that you're only as good as the company you keep.
i dont necessarily believe that word by word
but i do think its true with the close company
like people you hang out with at least once a week.
and this brings me to my inner struggle
maybe to the core of why i have trouble with just letting it go.
brock, one of leseans best friends.. cheats on his girlfriend
of more than 4 years.. it think they've been together off and on for at least 5 yrs.
the broke up before because he cheated on her.
everyone and there momma knows how brock is when it comes to him and being faithful.
he uses leseans phone and sometimes mine to call numbers he has in his wallet
today i heard him talking to a girl on the phone telling whoever it was
that they just got back from picking up lesean from work
he hasn't picked up brock from work since a week ago (when i was away)
lesean's been home for a couple of hours.
on the 4th of July he went into some room with this chick
came out 45 mins later with a smile on his face
her hair was messed up
and everytime we asked him what happened.. out of fun, he just smiled and said..
"I" Didnt do anything
indicating she did, he didnt
well the girl was one of kelly's (leseans step moms) friends and i got a call the next day
from kelly saying the girl really liked brock and that she found him on myspace and that
brock told her that he'd call her around 5pm but the girl hadn't heard from him.
and when i gave lesean the phone to talk to kelly he just didnt the "im not here" look
...
now I know my friends aren't perfect angles but when they are dating someone, especially
dating someone they keep there hands to themselves.
if lesean were doing that to me, i'd want someone to tell.
i want to mallory
i think it's unfair what brock is doing to her
if he's going to do that he should let her move on with her life
she deserves someone who will treat her like she should be treated.
i don't know why i don't say anything to her..
lesean said just stay out of it..
it's not right.
and i like Brock.. him and lesean are VERY close.. and he helps lesean
they've been friends forever and i wouldnt tell her to piss brock off
or bc i don't like him..
just the fact mallory deserves better.
but i don't know how mallory would handle it
i don't know what i would tell her
i don't know if she knew then she'd go crazy, tell brock and brock somehow
would cover up and have me look like the idiot.
.. so that's phase 1.
phase 2 is that lesean puts up with it.
he cover's for him.
so he lies.
if he does that how can i be 100% sure that he won't do the same thing to me?
it's not an issue of trust.
it's an issue of fact.
right in front of my face.
.