(no subject)
Wow.. I never realized how alone I am..
Not to make myself sound desperate or anything.. But I really need a boyfriend. Like lately, every time I’ve seen people holding hands or something, I get depressed. I try to make myself seem like everything’s alright and nothing is wrong, but really its killing me inside.
WoW.. Now I’m starting to sound real desperate..
It’s just that I’ve been single for WAY too long and I just wish some guy would give me a chance and see me as something different than "just a friend" You cannot believe how many times I’ve heard that throughout my life. Man.. I think I probably set a record or something!! What’s wrong with me besides that I’m a little shorter than most girls. Yeah, I know I’m not the greatest looking girl around but am I loud and annoying or something and that’s why guys totally don’t wanna date me?? I really wanna know why I’m such a turn off. AnyBoDY knoW??
I’m also getting tired of thinking a guy might actually be into me when really, he’s interested in one of my friends or not even interested in me at all!! I’ve wasted too many tears on thinking that and I’m trying to make myself stop because I hate getting rejected. It’s happened one too many times and I really don’t wanna go through any of it again.
I’m also beginning to hate holding onto liking a guy for a long time.. Especially when I know I don’t even stand a chance with them. Okay.. I actually thought I had a chance with a senior! HAHA.. YEAH RIGHT!! I know Brian will never be interested in me.. No matter what I do or how I look. He is an absolutely gorgeous guy and he can get whatever girl he wants! LIKE HE WOULD EVER PICK ME?? Sure.. He went with me to MORP last year and he had a nickname for me and we became friends and everything.. But he’s a senior!! Why would he want a relationship that’s more than a friendship with a sophomore like me?? HAHA.. I can’t believe I actually though I stood a chance. I practically fell in love with that kid.. Funny huh?? And I also know nothing will ever change between me and Sean (look at the entry below with picture). I already know he’s doesn’t wanna be anything more than friends with me so.. I don’t see why I’m waiting here for something that wont happen.. I NEED TO MOVE ON FROM THESE GUYS!!
I don’t want any of you guys to think I’m just trying to feel sorry for myself or anything. It’s not like that at all.. I just don’t wanna be alone anymore.. Sorry if this entry might seem depressing or anything.. I’ve just had this one of mind the last couple days..