thing to break my own fall
so to help break up the different thoughts i had while writing this entry i lj-cut everything apart into the following categories. it seemed like a good idea at the time, shut up. or should i say CHUT UP...
the hair will remain blonde. at least for now. i like how short it is and i enjoy the blonde still. i've always said that i wanted my hair to be short and blonde so i could be an Eminem impersonator. well, guess what? my dream has finally come TRUE! as long as i don't look too strange i don't give a damn.
it is weird. i worry about how i look way too often. i think it is the whole not being hit on by guys thing... that or my insecurities with my ears. they stick OUT. i post only photos with side views to avoid their leak into society. hah. but yeah, my mind is a strange thing. my mom has been telling me for a week now that my hair is goddawful, but i don't believe her. my friends have been telling me for a week now that my hair is cool, even "hot". i don't believe them. i never believe someone when they say something about my looks, except maybe the bad comments that don't come from my mother. i guess i only expect bad comments to be true.
well, let down my readers and my would-be editors last night. instead of finishing Monster like i was supposed to (gave myself May 27th as a personal deadline) i spent the night playing games on games.com with Peter, sitting around watching lame TV, and basically being the ULTIMATE procrastinator. i think i outweigh Jenn in that category because she seems to get things done at least. me? nope. unless it hurts me i tend to leave everything off till the moment of no return, meaning i would put it off till there would be no coming back to it and it would be dead!
working only weekends sucks, especially when i want to hang out with people for a change. i'm usually okay with working on the weekends because its calming and every now and then i need a break from social drama. i really want to see Saved! and it would be something i could go see with the gang. i'm also open to start meeting some of the fun people i've met online.
there's Ryan, the cool guy who's moved out here from Minnesota and is a tad bit alcoholic but doesn't smoke and enjoys clubbing. he likes books about kids who are crazy but later get their comeupance in one way or another, so i'm going to let him borrow "A Density of Souls" by Christopher Rice because he looks like Rice, he acts like Steven (the main character of the story), and its a story about kids who are crazy but get their comeupance in the end after all the mystery and the suspense is through. ah, great story.
there's Peter, the good guy who i met via myspace.com and have been chatting with and talking Garbage and sharing photos with (oh, Pete, that game we played was sort of annoying and sort of great! very confusing either way). he wants to see Mean Girls and so do i, sort of. hmmm, maybe after he gets it into his head that he's really good looking and i'm not going to run from him if he's sunburnt then we can go hang out. sadly he's in an advanced Greg situation in which his parents aren't reliable and he's the only one his 4 brothers have. i say advanced meaning he's left with a lot of duties in regards to his brothers, he has one more brother than Greg, and yeah... be thankful, Greg. :-p
then, as "You Look So Fine" starts up on my mp3 player, there is Anthony. he's just a cool guy. the first thing we talk about when he contacts me is American Idol, something i don't think either of us really enjoyed watching but still had fun talking about it. then we just sort of talked for the whole night about nothing it seems, still fun. last night we ended up devulging into our pasts and trying to understand why relationships for us never tend to work out, which was interesting and gave some insight i suppose. he opted to move the conversation to phone so we spent the night on the phone till 1:30 in the morning about random things. i was a sarcastic asshole, but meh when am i not? :-P i was just nervous being the shy guy that i am around phones... and he's the type of guy who i think lets things slide and has a very chill attitude towards things. so there was silence, but not like it was bad or awkward i suppose. plus, c'mon, when it was midnight i was sleepy... then by the time we watched Spawn it was 1 and i was dying... but it was fun. it was one of those times you'd rather accidently fall asleep on the person than to hang up and end the conversation. y'know? a selfish moment. hah. but yes, also hot i must say... he's half Japanese. his middle name makes me happy. Makoto! woo.
there could very well be a concert i'm going to on June 12th. this guy i met off of myspace.com named Donnie has a band playing at this sort of what sounds like a "battle of the bands". he plays drums in this metal band that sounds cool, so i'm opening up to see if people would want to go. could be fun stuff and its only 10 bucks. of course there would need to be chipping in for gas, so 15 bucks! why 5 dollars for gas? well, its in Corona. yyeeahh... so there goes a gallon for me and whoever else opts to drive, probably Jamie if she goes.
that's another thing i need to address. its strange to be in the middle of two groups of people. there's Jamie, Myling, Kelly, and sometimes Kim (if she doesn't work). there's Greg, Anne, Toni, and the optional Rachel or Jen (depending on what it is we do and if either are free from babysitting). neither of those groups really do much together it seems and i seem to rotate between them on days off. kind of weird, but if everyone wants to go see emo, punk, screamo, and metal bands on June 12th then i'm hoping to mix the two together. not saying they never do things together its just i'm not always around when they mix and it would be cool to have those six (core six) there because i enjoy them. keep fighting off the urge to name people i'd enjoy seeing more, but when it comes down to it they all rock and i'd love to see them all.
i work at wal-mart from 3:30 - 12:00. i have 3 hours until i have to get ready, so what do i do? sit and rot. hah. i should get some writing in... or lift some weights... but will i? will i?
Pssst... answer is NOPE.
the hair will remain blonde. at least for now. i like how short it is and i enjoy the blonde still. i've always said that i wanted my hair to be short and blonde so i could be an Eminem impersonator. well, guess what? my dream has finally come TRUE! as long as i don't look too strange i don't give a damn.
it is weird. i worry about how i look way too often. i think it is the whole not being hit on by guys thing... that or my insecurities with my ears. they stick OUT. i post only photos with side views to avoid their leak into society. hah. but yeah, my mind is a strange thing. my mom has been telling me for a week now that my hair is goddawful, but i don't believe her. my friends have been telling me for a week now that my hair is cool, even "hot". i don't believe them. i never believe someone when they say something about my looks, except maybe the bad comments that don't come from my mother. i guess i only expect bad comments to be true.
well, let down my readers and my would-be editors last night. instead of finishing Monster like i was supposed to (gave myself May 27th as a personal deadline) i spent the night playing games on games.com with Peter, sitting around watching lame TV, and basically being the ULTIMATE procrastinator. i think i outweigh Jenn in that category because she seems to get things done at least. me? nope. unless it hurts me i tend to leave everything off till the moment of no return, meaning i would put it off till there would be no coming back to it and it would be dead!
working only weekends sucks, especially when i want to hang out with people for a change. i'm usually okay with working on the weekends because its calming and every now and then i need a break from social drama. i really want to see Saved! and it would be something i could go see with the gang. i'm also open to start meeting some of the fun people i've met online.
there's Ryan, the cool guy who's moved out here from Minnesota and is a tad bit alcoholic but doesn't smoke and enjoys clubbing. he likes books about kids who are crazy but later get their comeupance in one way or another, so i'm going to let him borrow "A Density of Souls" by Christopher Rice because he looks like Rice, he acts like Steven (the main character of the story), and its a story about kids who are crazy but get their comeupance in the end after all the mystery and the suspense is through. ah, great story.
there's Peter, the good guy who i met via myspace.com and have been chatting with and talking Garbage and sharing photos with (oh, Pete, that game we played was sort of annoying and sort of great! very confusing either way). he wants to see Mean Girls and so do i, sort of. hmmm, maybe after he gets it into his head that he's really good looking and i'm not going to run from him if he's sunburnt then we can go hang out. sadly he's in an advanced Greg situation in which his parents aren't reliable and he's the only one his 4 brothers have. i say advanced meaning he's left with a lot of duties in regards to his brothers, he has one more brother than Greg, and yeah... be thankful, Greg. :-p
then, as "You Look So Fine" starts up on my mp3 player, there is Anthony. he's just a cool guy. the first thing we talk about when he contacts me is American Idol, something i don't think either of us really enjoyed watching but still had fun talking about it. then we just sort of talked for the whole night about nothing it seems, still fun. last night we ended up devulging into our pasts and trying to understand why relationships for us never tend to work out, which was interesting and gave some insight i suppose. he opted to move the conversation to phone so we spent the night on the phone till 1:30 in the morning about random things. i was a sarcastic asshole, but meh when am i not? :-P i was just nervous being the shy guy that i am around phones... and he's the type of guy who i think lets things slide and has a very chill attitude towards things. so there was silence, but not like it was bad or awkward i suppose. plus, c'mon, when it was midnight i was sleepy... then by the time we watched Spawn it was 1 and i was dying... but it was fun. it was one of those times you'd rather accidently fall asleep on the person than to hang up and end the conversation. y'know? a selfish moment. hah. but yes, also hot i must say... he's half Japanese. his middle name makes me happy. Makoto! woo.
there could very well be a concert i'm going to on June 12th. this guy i met off of myspace.com named Donnie has a band playing at this sort of what sounds like a "battle of the bands". he plays drums in this metal band that sounds cool, so i'm opening up to see if people would want to go. could be fun stuff and its only 10 bucks. of course there would need to be chipping in for gas, so 15 bucks! why 5 dollars for gas? well, its in Corona. yyeeahh... so there goes a gallon for me and whoever else opts to drive, probably Jamie if she goes.
that's another thing i need to address. its strange to be in the middle of two groups of people. there's Jamie, Myling, Kelly, and sometimes Kim (if she doesn't work). there's Greg, Anne, Toni, and the optional Rachel or Jen (depending on what it is we do and if either are free from babysitting). neither of those groups really do much together it seems and i seem to rotate between them on days off. kind of weird, but if everyone wants to go see emo, punk, screamo, and metal bands on June 12th then i'm hoping to mix the two together. not saying they never do things together its just i'm not always around when they mix and it would be cool to have those six (core six) there because i enjoy them. keep fighting off the urge to name people i'd enjoy seeing more, but when it comes down to it they all rock and i'd love to see them all.
i work at wal-mart from 3:30 - 12:00. i have 3 hours until i have to get ready, so what do i do? sit and rot. hah. i should get some writing in... or lift some weights... but will i? will i?
Pssst... answer is NOPE.