(no subject)
dear ethan westley darnell,
you know that i love you with all of my heart. i've always thought very highly of you. but i have to get this out.
you have friends. people love you and like you. i have ALWAYS thought of you as one of my good friends, and i've always wanted you to feel the same about me. but no matter what, i just cant believe that you do. i always have felt like a "back-up" friend. you know, someone you come to when you're cooler friends arent around.
you talk about how people dont include you and how you feel like you have no friends. you should know that you do. you, actually, are one of those people that makes people feel like they are not included or liked simply because you are too busy trying to be with other, more liked friends.
i have NEVER looked away from you. never. i have always given you advice, talked to you about stuff, and just rooted you on in life. i know other people that have done the same. but to these people, including myself, you have given them almost no credit.
i know i moved, so this may sound stupid. you're probably thinking "how shallow is she to write this when i cant hang out with her anyway b/c she doesnt live here?" but ethan, i used to live here and it was the same way.
plus there are people like me that still live in lexington now. they are begging for your attention b/c they are your true friends. the ones that never lie to you, the ones that never turn you away, and the ones that always include you.
they love you, but you just dont seem to grasp that, or you dont want to. and dang it ethan, it hurts. just like you want some attention from certain people, certain people want attention from you. i've looked past the times when i've been ignored and stuff like that b/c you are my friend whether you like it or not. and i will always look past that stuff, but i thought you should know what goes on in my head.
you have friends. you have people that love you. you are surrounded with admirers who just want to have their presence acknowledged by you. face it ethan, you are a popular guy.
i know this is harsh, but i had to get it out. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, but i still dont think you entirely get it. i would say not to take offense to this, but i cant make you not take offense. just know i didnt set out for it to hurt you or anything.. i just wanted you to realize you do have true friends whether they are the people you want them to be or not. they love you, just like i do, but they arent feeling the love back.
i love you ethan, and i hope you get this and take it to heart.