hold on....

[orangeqtqueen]

ok well its almost 11 and im really not supposed to be on. but i cant sleep i really dont want to be up in my room so thats why im downstairs alot is on my mind and i dont know exactly how to express it i could with a blade but the scars r finally healing and i really wanna go 2 months and i want to go swimming this summer if i do CG again i cant. so i wont but i really just need to say this. if i seem like im ok with something lately im really not im just trying my hardest for sum1 i honest to god am. i really hate this and lately it wont leave im happy cuz he is but im mad because im jealous not because of whos he with jealous because both my friends both have sum1 and like with kayleigh im mucho happy cuz she happy but with someone else i cant really take it. i wanna cg i honest to god do just majorly confuzed i love him and i wish i didnt in that way. cuz right now hes hitched OIIIII i hate this.. dont wry ill be fine in the end if im not smiling then i know its not the end... if i say im fine just go with it because i truly am.. just dont want to ruin anything for him
<3 katie

*hold on if you feel like letting go*