still cleaning
its my anti-drug. no, no actually its more of an anti-depressant... a bold attempt of a remedy atleast. right so...i went back to work this past weekend. hadnt been there in almost a month beacuse of my toe. knee ski rocks my world, i love it. work is good for me. besides the fact that im finally making moey again, which is always a positive, i enjoy the people i work with, im out of the house into the sunshine, and it keeps my mind off the outside world of wet and wild. i think ill go in tomorrow just for kicks. i have the coolest computer ever. my background now matches my bedroom walls and it excites me. im still up and down lately...up enough to get out and spend some time with leah, kellen, drew, matt, and some other kids i might someday call my friends. i only say that because i feel that term is thrown around too loosely. but im still not completely my "old self". i cant get out of the damn house. last night i rented a movie and watched it by myself...didnt bother me at all,its just something i wouldnt have done say 3 weeks ago. keith stopped by today, put a smile on my face, so thanks for that:0) i dont understand whats going on with my sister...fuck shit man. i really dont feel that way im just so frusterated i dont know how else to express myself. or if im even allowed to. i dont know what the hell is allowed anymore.