Change isn't always great...
Alright, so throughout this summer I have done a lot of growing and changing as a person, none of you probably have any idea at all. Well... maybe one or two of you. But yeah, I'm totally different than I was when I got onto that plane to come home at Logan Airport... and that isn't necessarily a good thing or a bad thing.
For one thing I've sort of come to terms with the whole Dad issue. Things are still rocky between us but in general it's getting... well... better. I'm still kinda angry with what he did and how he still isn't the best Dad, but I'm starting to understand both sides of the story, what he went through when he was a kid, and most importantly the fact that he is sorry and does realize how what he did affected me.
Next... I've totally changed my mind in what career path I want to pursue. I'm really interested in Photo Art Directing, and I'd love to stay in the fashion retail industry. The only problem is that I go to retardo Harvard, which, while soaked in a "rich" white man's history and wrapped in a name that can carry you pretty far in lots of lame social circles, has no professional degrees and no ways to academically and professionaly grow and nurture my creativity. You see, I want to be in business, but I'd like to be involved in the creative process. No, I don't want to be a photographer or a graphic designer- I don't like to create under pressure, and I don't want my portfolio to be my career- I don't want a little dry spell to ruin my career... but I do want to be in the position of somebody who works with concepts for ads and production of photoshoots, I want to hire the directors, work with copywriters, organize shoots... and who knows? Maybe that might be a sedgeway into like advertisement...
Lastly, I'm way more materialistic than I used to be, and that sucks a lot. If you know me then you know that while I don't have bags of money hanging off of me, I do like to shop and I do like nice things. But lately I feel like I've been concerned with material things way too much. Who cares what purse I have? What do my shoes matter? Is anybody really going to remember me for my damn pencil skirt? No. There are so many things that are so much more important than, well- things and it's time that I get back to remembering that. When I was little my Mom would get me cheap little toy for Christmas because hey, I didn't know the difference, at one point we had to go get food from a Church pantry in order to not go hungry during the fall, I'm no stranger to food stamps or WIC meals... and even when we were struggling at our most (because hey, let's not get it twisted- we're still struggling now) we were happy. Happy with each other. Happy with our lives.
And that's what I need to be more than anything. Happy.
I've been trying to figure out what I want to do with my life, what will make me happiest, and I think that I want to do something to help kids in risk of hunger, to educate people on the value of an education, to work with after-school programs to keep kids out of trouble. Now this isn't what I want to do with my career, just something I want to help with when I'm older. And I don't have any concrete plans or anything.
Right now my goal is to find something that can fund my dreams.
And I think that in general, that's what it's all about.
I'd like you to check out some of the following places. We can all get a little wrapped up in our own lives and our own materialism at times, and it's just good to momentarily check ourselves and do what we can to give back.\
It's all about helping somebody less fortunate get to where you are, so they can help somebody else...
Second Harvest
Toys for Tots
Salvation Army
Boys & Girls Club of America
AIDS Life Cycle
That's just a few things... of course there are countless ways that we can help each other and help ourselves. I mean, it seems like generations in America are getting more and more apathetic, and that is most definitely not the way to go.