(no subject)
pretty simple day today. took the boys to the pool, got tan, went home, got sick, spent the rest of the day on the couch sleeping and then watching TV later.
Brian came over on sunday, and we went into DC for the slam. It was great to see him, and he brought my birthday present + a card from him and a card from michael. It made my day to read the cards from them, because it's the first time ever that they haven't just given me a joint card. and michael's was sooooo sweet, which i can gush about because i doubt he reads this anymore and he's at band camp anyway. Brian got me a new journal, which made my week. My chinese food notebook(which actually has a "footprints" design on it and has nothing to do with chinese food other than the fact that it smells like chinese food from a freak accident involving eggrolls..) is almost full/falling apart, and i've been thinking about getting a new one for a while.
on the subject of poetry, i wrote a new poem. i finally broke the writer's block that cmf dropped on my head. and it's not total crap, either! and i even revised it and spaced it and everything. i'm proud of myself. i'm going to read it at the next open mic(i've already rehearsed on the metro to brian).
The drive home from New York was fucking gorgeous--the sun was shining, Dad and i were singing along with the radio to old country songs that i would never admit to knowing, and the cooler was packed. and there was no whiney little brother. it's nice around here with him gone. i wish he would go away more often.
I picked up my guitar yesterday after two weeks of letting it be. sometimes the memories of my first panic attack come in flashbacks when i pick it up. but nonetheless, i will get over it eventually.
I'm applying for the Congress-Bundestag scholarship again. I meet the age requirement this time, and i want it more. I want to prove that i can live in Germany for a whole fucking year and survive, and learn the language, and the culture, and come out a different person because of the experience.
i've been thinking about horseback riding a lot lately. maybe because summer was always the time when i spent every free moment at the barn. i remember riding in the thickest heat and having to leave my waterbottle on the rail of the ring so i could stay hydrated. 'Toinette never cooperated with that though, so i would usually have to have someone hand it to me, and ride around with it. she never liked standing still. apparently it's something we have in common. i'm not sure if i regret not riding anymore or not. i know i miss it, but it was slowly wearing out my knees(one of the real reasons i quit), and there was no solution to that. I still hate jumping---one bad experience can ruin everything.., and i love dressage. for a while after i quit my heart ached everytime i saw/heard/smelt anything horse-related. i've moved past that, but there will always be a part of me that misses 'Toinette. and her crazyass canter. When i was little, everyone told me that i would quit riding when i discovered boys. They were wrong. I quit riding when i discovered that you actually have to do homework in order to pass.
well, this has been a long entry and i'm tired.
love,
me
Brian came over on sunday, and we went into DC for the slam. It was great to see him, and he brought my birthday present + a card from him and a card from michael. It made my day to read the cards from them, because it's the first time ever that they haven't just given me a joint card. and michael's was sooooo sweet, which i can gush about because i doubt he reads this anymore and he's at band camp anyway. Brian got me a new journal, which made my week. My chinese food notebook(which actually has a "footprints" design on it and has nothing to do with chinese food other than the fact that it smells like chinese food from a freak accident involving eggrolls..) is almost full/falling apart, and i've been thinking about getting a new one for a while.
on the subject of poetry, i wrote a new poem. i finally broke the writer's block that cmf dropped on my head. and it's not total crap, either! and i even revised it and spaced it and everything. i'm proud of myself. i'm going to read it at the next open mic(i've already rehearsed on the metro to brian).
The drive home from New York was fucking gorgeous--the sun was shining, Dad and i were singing along with the radio to old country songs that i would never admit to knowing, and the cooler was packed. and there was no whiney little brother. it's nice around here with him gone. i wish he would go away more often.
I picked up my guitar yesterday after two weeks of letting it be. sometimes the memories of my first panic attack come in flashbacks when i pick it up. but nonetheless, i will get over it eventually.
I'm applying for the Congress-Bundestag scholarship again. I meet the age requirement this time, and i want it more. I want to prove that i can live in Germany for a whole fucking year and survive, and learn the language, and the culture, and come out a different person because of the experience.
i've been thinking about horseback riding a lot lately. maybe because summer was always the time when i spent every free moment at the barn. i remember riding in the thickest heat and having to leave my waterbottle on the rail of the ring so i could stay hydrated. 'Toinette never cooperated with that though, so i would usually have to have someone hand it to me, and ride around with it. she never liked standing still. apparently it's something we have in common. i'm not sure if i regret not riding anymore or not. i know i miss it, but it was slowly wearing out my knees(one of the real reasons i quit), and there was no solution to that. I still hate jumping---one bad experience can ruin everything.., and i love dressage. for a while after i quit my heart ached everytime i saw/heard/smelt anything horse-related. i've moved past that, but there will always be a part of me that misses 'Toinette. and her crazyass canter. When i was little, everyone told me that i would quit riding when i discovered boys. They were wrong. I quit riding when i discovered that you actually have to do homework in order to pass.
well, this has been a long entry and i'm tired.
love,
me