The only one.
Sometimes....
No.
All the time.
I am the only one.
I don't know why. I really don't. I've tried to get it, I've tried to get into it, I've tried to not be the one person who just can't get into it.
But I am. I am the ONE person who can't get into it all.
The things I can't get into:
Drugs. Pot, Coke, Heroin, what the fuck ever. Not into it, NEVER will be.
Drinking. Beer, wine, hard liquor...I don't enjoy them and I don't want to be drunk. I feel like I've lost all my friends to alcohol, even the ones I never thought I'd have trouble finding.
Sex without love. Don't get it, don't want to. Physical pleasure is a far, far second to emotional happiness to me.
Cheating. Betraying people that love you and that you love is beyond wrong.
Refusing to own up. If you made a mistake, admit it, don't be a tool and try to get out of it. When you can't accept or admit to yourself that you fucked up, you need to reexamine your life.
Those are some. There are other things, many others, that I am the only one out of any crowd that thinks or does or acts like. Why?
I hate solitude. I hate being alone. The only times I enjoy being by myself are when I'm reading, watching a good movie that I want to see alone, or playing a video game that is so immersive that I feel like I've left my life. Other than that, solitude is misery.
Ugg.
Whining, it makes me almost as miserable to externalize all of this as it does to internalize it. Sorry, to all who don't need any bitching.
I need some Isis in my life.
I need to be not single, from now until I die. It sucks to not have someone to hold or kiss or hug or just cuddle with. It's fucking miserable, especially when everyone around you does, and each time they say something about their happiness, it cuts you like a knife in the heart. I don't want other people's happiness to hurt. But until I have some, it will, every time.
Hope you're all doing well.
No.
All the time.
I am the only one.
I don't know why. I really don't. I've tried to get it, I've tried to get into it, I've tried to not be the one person who just can't get into it.
But I am. I am the ONE person who can't get into it all.
The things I can't get into:
Drugs. Pot, Coke, Heroin, what the fuck ever. Not into it, NEVER will be.
Drinking. Beer, wine, hard liquor...I don't enjoy them and I don't want to be drunk. I feel like I've lost all my friends to alcohol, even the ones I never thought I'd have trouble finding.
Sex without love. Don't get it, don't want to. Physical pleasure is a far, far second to emotional happiness to me.
Cheating. Betraying people that love you and that you love is beyond wrong.
Refusing to own up. If you made a mistake, admit it, don't be a tool and try to get out of it. When you can't accept or admit to yourself that you fucked up, you need to reexamine your life.
Those are some. There are other things, many others, that I am the only one out of any crowd that thinks or does or acts like. Why?
I hate solitude. I hate being alone. The only times I enjoy being by myself are when I'm reading, watching a good movie that I want to see alone, or playing a video game that is so immersive that I feel like I've left my life. Other than that, solitude is misery.
Ugg.
Whining, it makes me almost as miserable to externalize all of this as it does to internalize it. Sorry, to all who don't need any bitching.
I need some Isis in my life.
I need to be not single, from now until I die. It sucks to not have someone to hold or kiss or hug or just cuddle with. It's fucking miserable, especially when everyone around you does, and each time they say something about their happiness, it cuts you like a knife in the heart. I don't want other people's happiness to hurt. But until I have some, it will, every time.
Hope you're all doing well.