working, saving and getting really really fucked up

[orangefizz]

not that it even matters,

but i wish you would let me have my say, and explain why i'm hurt and why i'm

such a horrible person

its because its so much easier to push the people you care about away

than to set yourself up for rejection and disappointment.

please understand how valuable your friendship is to me, and that i am trying to

change.

i just miss feeling like i have a fucking purpose.
for a few weeks there, i almost felt like somebody.

thank goodness gravity pulled me back down into my place.