(no subject)
I just woke up and walked into the kitchen to pour some coffee. As I did he walked in and said, "Are you okay?" Confused, I asked what he meant. "Are you physically okay?"
I said, "I don't understand, why are you asking that?"
He turned and left the room angrily. I poured some coffee and sat down to drink it but felt like I should try to understand what just happened. So I walked down into the basement where he was sitting and asked why he got angry and left when I asked why he was asking me if I'm physically okay.
He told me I am gaslighting him into thinking it's wrong to ask if someone is okay. He yelled at me filled with rage that he won't allow me to gaslight him.
I tried to say, the common question people ask is, "How are you?" in the morning or something, and I just didn't understand why he was asking me if I'm okay. He said it was because I slept in late and I am pretending to not understand, and he was screaming at me. I am now also yelling, "Why didn't you just tell me that's what you meant, because I slept in? Instead of getting angry and leaving." No, his eyes are wide and his fists are clenched and he's gritting his teeth and yelling that I am gaslighting him.
I don't understand. But I can't be treated like this. I'm so completely alone. I have been awake half an hour and I'm sobbing, having a panic attack. I didn't do anything to him and I can't live like this. I think about dying every single day, I cry at work and here. I don't want to be there I don't want to come here, I have no one to talk to and daaamn, I really fell for it didn't I?