huh
I went with my mom and my sister to see my grandma at the hospital today.
She looked so.... small. And frail.
I sat next to her and held her hand.
And tried not to cry.
Because it seems inevitable that she's going to die.
I've never been especially close to my grandma, but I love her...
And no one close to me has ever died.
I've only been to one funeral in my life, when I was about 5, for someone who wasn't even related to me.
I don't want her to die, but at the same time, she's so bad.
She has fluid in her lungs, she's got dementia.
She is confused and extremely depressed.
She's 88 years old.
For the past 5 or 6 years she's been like this....
health problems, in and out of the hospital,
depression....
At this point I think death would be a relief
after seeing her quality of life deteriorate so much.
I think I'll be okay when she's gone,
I think I've been preparing myself for this for the past 3 years or so.
All the same....
seeing her in the hospital
depresses the hell out of me.
On the brighter side, Amy got accepted into Stetson.
Yay!
She's really happy about it and I'm happy for her.
I'm glad she got into that college since I know she really wants to go.
The admissions envelope was really skinny... at first I thought it was a rejection letter and I was mentally bracing myself for the tears- and then she opened it up and screamed "I GOT IN!"
So yeah, go Amy.
lolz
I'm finshed.
♥
She looked so.... small. And frail.
I sat next to her and held her hand.
And tried not to cry.
Because it seems inevitable that she's going to die.
I've never been especially close to my grandma, but I love her...
And no one close to me has ever died.
I've only been to one funeral in my life, when I was about 5, for someone who wasn't even related to me.
I don't want her to die, but at the same time, she's so bad.
She has fluid in her lungs, she's got dementia.
She is confused and extremely depressed.
She's 88 years old.
For the past 5 or 6 years she's been like this....
health problems, in and out of the hospital,
depression....
At this point I think death would be a relief
after seeing her quality of life deteriorate so much.
I think I'll be okay when she's gone,
I think I've been preparing myself for this for the past 3 years or so.
All the same....
seeing her in the hospital
depresses the hell out of me.
On the brighter side, Amy got accepted into Stetson.
Yay!
She's really happy about it and I'm happy for her.
I'm glad she got into that college since I know she really wants to go.
The admissions envelope was really skinny... at first I thought it was a rejection letter and I was mentally bracing myself for the tears- and then she opened it up and screamed "I GOT IN!"
So yeah, go Amy.
lolz
I'm finshed.
♥