fic: Science Fiction, Double Feature
title: Science Fiction, Double Feature
characters/pairings: Lily/James, Marauders
summary: “We could go to London,” agrees Sirius, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. “The other night I saw that a show was playing at the Kings Road Theatre.”
For latenightcuppa. Also, welcome back, Souffle eaters. :)
word count: 1543
rating: PG
genre: humor
James Potter genuinely prides himself on his recent plummet into reality. He knows he is more responsible, cleaner, and less of a puppet to the madman master of strings, Sirius Black. But knowing all of this about himself has done little to explain why he is at a Muggle shop in London staring at faux leather corsets and women’s underpants.
“This is a bad idea,” he proclaims, as Sirius looks quizzically at a pair of gold hot pants, nodding thoughtfully. “How did we get here?”
Two days ago, in Godric’s Hollow
Sirius Black makes a gagging sound behind his back at Remus Lupin, who rolls his eyes indulgently, and Peter Pettigrew, who squeaks with barely concealed laughter. Sirius cannot figure out why James Potter and Lily Evans are all teary eyed and longingly holding both hands while saying goodbye. They are both 17; they can Apparate at will, and James is headed to Petunia Evans’ wedding in just two weeks time. Lily needs to be back at her house as she is a bridesmaid in the wedding, despite the fact that she and her sister have not spoken civilly in months.
But no, there they are, professing their burgeoning love and staring meaningfully, bidding adieu in a manner befitting of a Celestina Warbeck song. There is something disgustingly, tragically wrong with this picture.
“Oi! Speed this up a bit, will you?” Sirius taps his foot impatiently. “All is not lost, loves. I swear on my Muggle girl posters that this time apart will be, um, enlightening and only make the heart grow fonder!”
He looks at Remus and Peter for backup and receives nothing but coughs and giggles from the pair of them. Sirius purses his lips and looks back out the window at James and Lily, who are now snogging like they might be exchanging tongues.
“GET ON WITH IT,” he hollers, petulantly.
They eventually break apart and Lily Disapparates with a crack.
Shoulders slumped and a stricken look on his face, James slinks back toward his house, into the kitchen. He heaves himself into the chair and sighs, putting his head down into his empty plate.
Sirius claps slowly. “That, my friend, is theater,” he remarks to Peter and Remus.
Remus takes pity on James. “Now, Prongs, it will be a short two weeks,” he cajoles, nodding helpfully at his own statements. “I am not due to return home until after the wedding myself, and I promise you that you will be vastly entertained in her absence.”
James hits his head once on the table, miserably.
“We could go to London,” suggests Peter, nicking a piece of pie from the refrigerator.
“We could go to London,” agrees Sirius, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. “The other night I saw that a show was playing at the Kings Road Theatre.”
“What kind of show,” James murmurs, head still down on the table.
“I don’t know,” Sirius answers, shrugging. “It looked like Queen meets Halloween or something.”
“Will we need my cloak,” James murmurs again, not moving from his strop on the table.
“No!” Peter stops eating his pie. “We can tell your parents it’s for culture. It’s a theater show, Prongs! They’d let us go to London for that, hands down.”
“Brilliant, Petey Pete!” Sirius claps Peter on the back, causing him to choke a bit on some not-yet-swallowed pumpkin bits. Peter beams at his friend’s praise and punches him in the arm, yelling “No takebacks!” at the top of his lungs.
Sirius frowns and looks to James, and whacks him on the back. “No takebacks! What do you say, then? Shall we go to a show in London? The answer, may I remind you, is always yes, James. Always.”
“Yes,” James mumbles, trying awkwardly to reach his back and rub it in pain. “Of course we can go to a show in London.”
One day ago, Muggle London
“The Rocky Horror Show,” reads Peter, peering at the poster. “Doesn’t look so scary.”
“No,” agrees Sirius, pointing. “But it does look like Halloween and Queen, does it not?”
“This is fantastic,” Sirius hisses, elbowing Remus.
“Padfoot, it hasn’t even started yet,” Remus argues, rolling his eyes. “It’s just a song.”
“About science fiction,” Sirius stresses, absolutely serious.
James appears rather nonplussed.
The show begins, and introduces Brad and Janet, recently engaged people lost in a rainstorm.
“That Janet is a right twat,” James grumbles, after Sirius waggles his eyebrows at Brad and Janet and says in a falsetto, “Hey Lily,” “Yes James?”
Peter laughs uproariously. “You are Brad, Prongs. It’s true. Pathetic, but true.”
James frowns and sinks into his seat.
Riff Raff comes onto the screen and Sirius yelps, “Filch!”
James can’t help but agree.
“That maid outfit is lovely,” Peter murmurs dreamily.
James can’t help but agree, again.
“Pelvic thrust,” Sirius agrees.
James can’t help but agree. Again.
Dr. Frank N Furter appears during “Sweet Transvestite.” Sirius is transfixed. “Awesome,” he breathes. “James, Prongs, buddy, you should wear that.”
James stops agreeing abruptly. “No, Pads, that is not going to happen.”
Peter chimes in, “can’t you borrow that kind of lingerie from Lily?” He sniggers into his hands.
“Wormtail, if Lily owned that type of outfit, rest assured you would never see me again. I would be busy.”
Peter pantomimes projectile vomit.
Remus realizes this will be a very long night when Rocky is introduced in his gold hot pants, and thinks it will be an even longer night when he sees the rapid-firing synapses snap across Sirius’s open-mouthed face. Somehow, some way, he knows that Sirius will find a way to own gold hot pants in some over the top showing of manliness.
And somehow, some way, Remus knows that he cannot be anywhere near Sirius when he’s running about the common room in gold lame. It is not the first time he wishes he could be giving Lily a knowing glance so that he can feel less stifled in his thoughts.
***
"Hot patootie, bless my soul," Sirius Black remarked, staring at the stage, "This was my best idea ever!”
"Admittedly, it was bloody brilliant to go to the Kings Road Theatre," James Potter hissed, "but it was not your idea to go!"
"It was mine," championed Peter Pettigrew, proudly.
"But you didn't know what would be showing," Sirius argued, pointing at the stage. "I did. Because I saw them getting ready outside and there was a very large motorcycle. That very large motorcycle. Eddie is the coolest.”
***
“Oh Lily, toucha toucha toucha touch me,” Peter breathes, batting his eyelashes after the show, pretending to be James. “I want to be dirty!”
“Knob off,” James says, but he can’t help but be in a better mood as they walk toward the alleyway to head back to his parents’ house.
“We should get costumes,” Sirius proclaims, throwing his fist into the air triumphantly. “Tomorrow. We should get Rocky Horror costumes. I saw a store on the way.”
“Sirius I don’t think,” Remus begins, then shrugs when James appears to be in agreement with this plan. “Whatever you want to do,” he sighs, resigned to whatever shenanigans his erstwhile friends are cooking in their not-quite-stable brains. Practicality be damned; if they want to wear corsets and hot pants, who was he to stop them? Voices of reason? Pfft.
“That’s the spirit,” Sirius yells. “A shopping trip on the morrow, good chaps!”
They apparate back to Godric’s Hollow, a few lines of the Time Warp echoing in the alleyway.
Back to present day, in the costume shop
Sirius holds up a pair of gold hot pants, a very large pair of hot pants that are clearly too big for his what could only be called svelte frame.
“Much too big,” James says, not paying much attention.
“It has to be that big,” Sirius insists, gray eyes wide and mercurial, “I have to fit my you know in it.”
James scoffs loudly. “I think you need this one, then,” he says, holding up the smallest pair. “That should work out better for you.”
Sirius frowns. “Tosspot, you. C’mon, let’s head out. I don’t think the lot of you can handle my body in those pants, anyway. Too much man.”
“Or too much vomit from seeing your body,” Peter says, smugly. James hoots with laughter and Peter appears proud of himself.
The boys walk outside to a different story. In the sky, there is a blazing dark mark, causing a commotion. Wizards in masks and hoods rush by, and there are screams. People push to get home, and the cracks of Apparition sound like fireworks.
Summer’s spell is broken by the cold realization that the world is changing, and this is just the beginning.
characters/pairings: Lily/James, Marauders
summary: “We could go to London,” agrees Sirius, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. “The other night I saw that a show was playing at the Kings Road Theatre.”
For latenightcuppa. Also, welcome back, Souffle eaters. :)
word count: 1543
rating: PG
genre: humor
James Potter genuinely prides himself on his recent plummet into reality. He knows he is more responsible, cleaner, and less of a puppet to the madman master of strings, Sirius Black. But knowing all of this about himself has done little to explain why he is at a Muggle shop in London staring at faux leather corsets and women’s underpants.
“This is a bad idea,” he proclaims, as Sirius looks quizzically at a pair of gold hot pants, nodding thoughtfully. “How did we get here?”
Two days ago, in Godric’s Hollow
Sirius Black makes a gagging sound behind his back at Remus Lupin, who rolls his eyes indulgently, and Peter Pettigrew, who squeaks with barely concealed laughter. Sirius cannot figure out why James Potter and Lily Evans are all teary eyed and longingly holding both hands while saying goodbye. They are both 17; they can Apparate at will, and James is headed to Petunia Evans’ wedding in just two weeks time. Lily needs to be back at her house as she is a bridesmaid in the wedding, despite the fact that she and her sister have not spoken civilly in months.
But no, there they are, professing their burgeoning love and staring meaningfully, bidding adieu in a manner befitting of a Celestina Warbeck song. There is something disgustingly, tragically wrong with this picture.
“Oi! Speed this up a bit, will you?” Sirius taps his foot impatiently. “All is not lost, loves. I swear on my Muggle girl posters that this time apart will be, um, enlightening and only make the heart grow fonder!”
He looks at Remus and Peter for backup and receives nothing but coughs and giggles from the pair of them. Sirius purses his lips and looks back out the window at James and Lily, who are now snogging like they might be exchanging tongues.
“GET ON WITH IT,” he hollers, petulantly.
They eventually break apart and Lily Disapparates with a crack.
Shoulders slumped and a stricken look on his face, James slinks back toward his house, into the kitchen. He heaves himself into the chair and sighs, putting his head down into his empty plate.
Sirius claps slowly. “That, my friend, is theater,” he remarks to Peter and Remus.
Remus takes pity on James. “Now, Prongs, it will be a short two weeks,” he cajoles, nodding helpfully at his own statements. “I am not due to return home until after the wedding myself, and I promise you that you will be vastly entertained in her absence.”
James hits his head once on the table, miserably.
“We could go to London,” suggests Peter, nicking a piece of pie from the refrigerator.
“We could go to London,” agrees Sirius, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. “The other night I saw that a show was playing at the Kings Road Theatre.”
“What kind of show,” James murmurs, head still down on the table.
“I don’t know,” Sirius answers, shrugging. “It looked like Queen meets Halloween or something.”
“Will we need my cloak,” James murmurs again, not moving from his strop on the table.
“No!” Peter stops eating his pie. “We can tell your parents it’s for culture. It’s a theater show, Prongs! They’d let us go to London for that, hands down.”
“Brilliant, Petey Pete!” Sirius claps Peter on the back, causing him to choke a bit on some not-yet-swallowed pumpkin bits. Peter beams at his friend’s praise and punches him in the arm, yelling “No takebacks!” at the top of his lungs.
Sirius frowns and looks to James, and whacks him on the back. “No takebacks! What do you say, then? Shall we go to a show in London? The answer, may I remind you, is always yes, James. Always.”
“Yes,” James mumbles, trying awkwardly to reach his back and rub it in pain. “Of course we can go to a show in London.”
One day ago, Muggle London
“The Rocky Horror Show,” reads Peter, peering at the poster. “Doesn’t look so scary.”
“No,” agrees Sirius, pointing. “But it does look like Halloween and Queen, does it not?”
Click to view“This is fantastic,” Sirius hisses, elbowing Remus.
“Padfoot, it hasn’t even started yet,” Remus argues, rolling his eyes. “It’s just a song.”
“About science fiction,” Sirius stresses, absolutely serious.
James appears rather nonplussed.
The show begins, and introduces Brad and Janet, recently engaged people lost in a rainstorm.
“That Janet is a right twat,” James grumbles, after Sirius waggles his eyebrows at Brad and Janet and says in a falsetto, “Hey Lily,” “Yes James?”
Peter laughs uproariously. “You are Brad, Prongs. It’s true. Pathetic, but true.”
James frowns and sinks into his seat.
Riff Raff comes onto the screen and Sirius yelps, “Filch!”
James can’t help but agree.
“That maid outfit is lovely,” Peter murmurs dreamily.
James can’t help but agree, again.
“Pelvic thrust,” Sirius agrees.
James can’t help but agree. Again.
Dr. Frank N Furter appears during “Sweet Transvestite.” Sirius is transfixed. “Awesome,” he breathes. “James, Prongs, buddy, you should wear that.”
James stops agreeing abruptly. “No, Pads, that is not going to happen.”
Peter chimes in, “can’t you borrow that kind of lingerie from Lily?” He sniggers into his hands.
“Wormtail, if Lily owned that type of outfit, rest assured you would never see me again. I would be busy.”
Peter pantomimes projectile vomit.
Remus realizes this will be a very long night when Rocky is introduced in his gold hot pants, and thinks it will be an even longer night when he sees the rapid-firing synapses snap across Sirius’s open-mouthed face. Somehow, some way, he knows that Sirius will find a way to own gold hot pants in some over the top showing of manliness.
And somehow, some way, Remus knows that he cannot be anywhere near Sirius when he’s running about the common room in gold lame. It is not the first time he wishes he could be giving Lily a knowing glance so that he can feel less stifled in his thoughts.
***
"Hot patootie, bless my soul," Sirius Black remarked, staring at the stage, "This was my best idea ever!”
"Admittedly, it was bloody brilliant to go to the Kings Road Theatre," James Potter hissed, "but it was not your idea to go!"
"It was mine," championed Peter Pettigrew, proudly.
"But you didn't know what would be showing," Sirius argued, pointing at the stage. "I did. Because I saw them getting ready outside and there was a very large motorcycle. That very large motorcycle. Eddie is the coolest.”
***
“Oh Lily, toucha toucha toucha touch me,” Peter breathes, batting his eyelashes after the show, pretending to be James. “I want to be dirty!”
“Knob off,” James says, but he can’t help but be in a better mood as they walk toward the alleyway to head back to his parents’ house.
“We should get costumes,” Sirius proclaims, throwing his fist into the air triumphantly. “Tomorrow. We should get Rocky Horror costumes. I saw a store on the way.”
“Sirius I don’t think,” Remus begins, then shrugs when James appears to be in agreement with this plan. “Whatever you want to do,” he sighs, resigned to whatever shenanigans his erstwhile friends are cooking in their not-quite-stable brains. Practicality be damned; if they want to wear corsets and hot pants, who was he to stop them? Voices of reason? Pfft.
“That’s the spirit,” Sirius yells. “A shopping trip on the morrow, good chaps!”
They apparate back to Godric’s Hollow, a few lines of the Time Warp echoing in the alleyway.
Back to present day, in the costume shop
Sirius holds up a pair of gold hot pants, a very large pair of hot pants that are clearly too big for his what could only be called svelte frame.
“Much too big,” James says, not paying much attention.
“It has to be that big,” Sirius insists, gray eyes wide and mercurial, “I have to fit my you know in it.”
James scoffs loudly. “I think you need this one, then,” he says, holding up the smallest pair. “That should work out better for you.”
Sirius frowns. “Tosspot, you. C’mon, let’s head out. I don’t think the lot of you can handle my body in those pants, anyway. Too much man.”
“Or too much vomit from seeing your body,” Peter says, smugly. James hoots with laughter and Peter appears proud of himself.
The boys walk outside to a different story. In the sky, there is a blazing dark mark, causing a commotion. Wizards in masks and hoods rush by, and there are screams. People push to get home, and the cracks of Apparition sound like fireworks.
Summer’s spell is broken by the cold realization that the world is changing, and this is just the beginning.