(no subject)
theres so much that needs to be done and i have no motivation what so ever.
im leaving for FL in two days and im not even packed. i dont even know where to start at that. i finally got my shopping done after work only to come home and realize that i forgot a few things. i been workin since friday and i dont have a day off until i sit my happy ass down in the seat of the plane that i hope to god wont crash. never been on a plane before and never thought i would get on one but i am and ya kno why? cuz i miss ash and i really wanna see her and kiara. ima be gone nine days. thats gonna be nice. nine days off of work and free of the home life. cant wait. im excited. what more can i say?
i got so much on my freakin mind its driving me krazy. half the things i cant even talk bout cuz i wouldnt kno where to start. things are hectic with work and life in general. sometimes i just want to call it quits. this is one of those times. im always worrying about what other people are gonna think or feel or how its going to effect them instead of worrying about myself. i need to quit that. i need to think for myself and do whats best for me instead of always trying to please everyone else. in other words if things go good tomarrow ima go for it and nicci, im sorrie for leavin ya in the cold. gotta do what ya gotta do tho to get ahead in life. your the only one thats gonna understand this paragraph and your the only one thats probally going to support me. heh. oh well. life goes on.
Robbies moving to Ohio - i dont even know what to say about that. we were talkin bout gettin back together the other night and things were going so good but he kept tellin me we need to talk bout a few things first. well i guess thats what we had to talk bout. i have so many mixed feelings for him. i love him but i hate him. i wanna be with him but i cant, especially now. i wanted to make things work but i didnt have it in me all at the same time. why i wanted to try again and still do to this day i'll never understand cuz i kno we would have only failed. i have to many issues in my own daily life to maintain a relationship thats has more bumps in it than fucking henry ruff. i miss him tho. i think i miss the whole relationship thing in general. i miss feeling safe and having that one person outside of my friends and family that i know cares bout me more than anything. i want that back. when we talked the other night i broke down on the phone. i know im never going to hear from him again or see him again. to this day he still wants to go back to canada and he will only he'll be leaving from ohio and not detroit. i dont want him that far away. i dont want him gone. i know we werent together but we talked and chilled here and that and that was enough to keep me sane for the most part. what am i gonna do without him. hes a huge part of my life that just disappeared. but i guess its true what they say, its better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all....
did i mention it fucking snowed today? and yesterday and oh wait its going to snow again tomarrow. let me clue the world in -- its fucking APRIL not Januaray. the snow need to get lost already!
oh yea -- i bought my anger management tickets yesterday!! Aug.12th comerica park, EMINEM!!!! :D i cant fucking wait!
im leaving for FL in two days and im not even packed. i dont even know where to start at that. i finally got my shopping done after work only to come home and realize that i forgot a few things. i been workin since friday and i dont have a day off until i sit my happy ass down in the seat of the plane that i hope to god wont crash. never been on a plane before and never thought i would get on one but i am and ya kno why? cuz i miss ash and i really wanna see her and kiara. ima be gone nine days. thats gonna be nice. nine days off of work and free of the home life. cant wait. im excited. what more can i say?
i got so much on my freakin mind its driving me krazy. half the things i cant even talk bout cuz i wouldnt kno where to start. things are hectic with work and life in general. sometimes i just want to call it quits. this is one of those times. im always worrying about what other people are gonna think or feel or how its going to effect them instead of worrying about myself. i need to quit that. i need to think for myself and do whats best for me instead of always trying to please everyone else. in other words if things go good tomarrow ima go for it and nicci, im sorrie for leavin ya in the cold. gotta do what ya gotta do tho to get ahead in life. your the only one thats gonna understand this paragraph and your the only one thats probally going to support me. heh. oh well. life goes on.
Robbies moving to Ohio - i dont even know what to say about that. we were talkin bout gettin back together the other night and things were going so good but he kept tellin me we need to talk bout a few things first. well i guess thats what we had to talk bout. i have so many mixed feelings for him. i love him but i hate him. i wanna be with him but i cant, especially now. i wanted to make things work but i didnt have it in me all at the same time. why i wanted to try again and still do to this day i'll never understand cuz i kno we would have only failed. i have to many issues in my own daily life to maintain a relationship thats has more bumps in it than fucking henry ruff. i miss him tho. i think i miss the whole relationship thing in general. i miss feeling safe and having that one person outside of my friends and family that i know cares bout me more than anything. i want that back. when we talked the other night i broke down on the phone. i know im never going to hear from him again or see him again. to this day he still wants to go back to canada and he will only he'll be leaving from ohio and not detroit. i dont want him that far away. i dont want him gone. i know we werent together but we talked and chilled here and that and that was enough to keep me sane for the most part. what am i gonna do without him. hes a huge part of my life that just disappeared. but i guess its true what they say, its better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all....
did i mention it fucking snowed today? and yesterday and oh wait its going to snow again tomarrow. let me clue the world in -- its fucking APRIL not Januaray. the snow need to get lost already!
oh yea -- i bought my anger management tickets yesterday!! Aug.12th comerica park, EMINEM!!!! :D i cant fucking wait!