how the tables have turned
so much to say -- so lil patience!
so walked into work on monday (this is last week im talkin) and paul gets off the phone and tells me 'someone ratted us out, scott knows' so im thinkin fuck what do we do now. he said not to be worried bout it this and that everything was goin to be fine. so then i walk in the back room and brandon was gettin ready to leave so i started talkin before he walked out. i asked him when he told scott cuz he was the only one that knew bout the 'situation' (too much to explain) and he was the one that wanted to tell scott i guess just outta hatred for paul. he didnt know what i was talkin bout so i explained it and he just looked at me kinda blankly. he said he didnt tell scott cuz he didnt know how to say sumthin without mention mine or anyone elses names and he didnt want to get us in trouble. so im thinkin well fuck who the hell knows if brandon didnt say anything. he was as lost as i was. the topic was dropped for the day. then i walk into work on tuesday and julie pulls me in the back room and tells me that scott fired paul that morning. i didnt even know what to say. i just stood there thinkin plz be jokin. never in this lifetime would i have expected to walk into work that day and hear that paul was gone. he was a great manager. he was a fuckin great guy at that. to get fired over some petty lil bullshit is just that -- bullshit. work hasnt been the same since then. linda is on a fuckin power trip and just on my last nerve. friday she had me honestly wanting to quit my job, and thats never crossed my mind before. earl is just the same - hes earl. oh and did i mention brandon is managment now? HA gotta love having a "thing" for your manager. thats an awkward situation but nonetheless the kid deserves it more than anyone in that place. he offically started today cuz he finished off the week as a stock guy just to save the hassel of fuckin with the schedule i guess. so i dont like work anymore and im still thinkin bout lookin for another job. i dont know tho. i guess we'll have to see what happens once everything falls into place. this week is kinda hectic cuz brandon is training so i close most the week with linda. tonite she wasnt as bad as friday but she still got on my damn nerves. i dont know what it is bout that lady but i really dont like her. brandon had nicci train him on register today. he was the cutest cashier id ever seen. lol. we had our store meetin sunday which went alright i guess. the majority of it was me nicci ty and chanie all arguing after everyone left. to this day nicci and chanie still arent seeing eye to eye. oh well tho what can ya do. finally taught jessica the floor tonite which wasnt the best experience but what can ya really due when the gurl just seems to be naturally dumb. i miss paul. nothing is the same anymore. even facing the store i cant help but think bout him and face to his liking even tho i know the next morning he wont be there to make sure we did good. "pull and face" right? ugh i just hope hes doing okay. he had a ruff start to a new year and it just seemed to get worse. i guess only time will tell huh.
so according to my last entry ashleigh wasnt moving anymore. that was a lie. today is offically a week since shes been gone. michelle kicked her out cuz they got into this huge fight. she left and went to martys for like a week and then went to FL to stay with her dad. that sunday was the worse day ever. spent like the whole day with her packin and went to dinner and shit. ive known the gurl for ten years and not once have i ever had to tell her goodbye for good until now. i miss her. i miss kiara. didnt even get to tell the baby goodbye cuz she was sleepin. cried when i hugged ash before she went back in the house. it was just blah. she was miserable the first half of the week being down there but she sounds like shes doing okay now. she got a job as a waitress and shit so hopefully things are gettin better. shes suppose to come up the 14th for a few days to get mann cuz he wants to be with kiara for her bday. i'll see her then but once she leaves i wont see her again till like april-may when we go down there. its not the same without her here. it sux. i still gotta go apply for the apartments we talked bout. when i get it, if i do, then shes gonna move back and live with me and nicci. theres a waiting list on gettin in tho so who knows when thats gonna happen. if it even does cuz i cant seem to catch the office when someone is there to get an app. i told my mom bout me gettin the apartment and she seemed straight bout it. then bryen and mandi made mention to it cuz my moms been talkin to them bout it and i guess shes under the impression ima support ash and the baby and thats not how it goes. if shes gonna live with me shes gonna keep a job. its part of life, she needs to learn that. i just want her here with us. mostly i wanna beable to see Kiara grow up instead of her being there and having the baby forget who i am. that would suck but in the same aspect i cant see her forgettin us. id hope not at least. ugh -- talkin is only makin me miss them more.
me and robbie arent talkin no more. he made that one offical. asshole. i miss him. ive been so tempted to call him lately but i dont want him to give me an attitude, that and i dont know how hed react. i caught him online like last week or something after not talkin to him for like a week and he made it clear he wanted me to move on and that he didnt want to talk to me no more. it was a blown out fight but whatever. i'll give him what he wants even if i dont approve. i miss him alot tho. i dont like not having him in my life. i know we're not together and shit anymore but we were talkin bout gettin back together and all this other shit and then one day he was just like goodbye. i hate it. what can ya really do tho ya kno. i was talkin to nicci tonite bout nick and told her how after me and robbie broke up in june i should have never let him back into my life. after that it was like we got along for a week or so and then from then on things were just shit. havent seem him in the longest time. one them things were ima end up forgetting what he looks like or something. im always thinkin bout him. like how would things have been if we were able to see each other more. would we still be together right now. would we still love each other just as much. i wonder whats its gonna be like if i ever run into him in the future too. is it gonna be nothing, like it was when i ran into eric at applebees when me ash and nicci went out to eat and i just smiled at him and kept walkin, or will we stop and talk for a minute. i wonder what he thinks. i wonder if he thinks bout me as much as i think of him or if he misses me as much as i miss him. i wonder if he still to this day blames me for everything that went wrong when sometimes it was his fault not mine even tho i ended up taking the blame for whatever it was. i wonder how long ima have it stuck in my head that i fuck up every relationship im in when in reality not everything has always been my fault. i dont know. its krazy how much thought goes into him sometimes. its krazy that i still feel guilty for us failing at being together when it takes two to be in a relationship....
saturday night was spent at mandis drinking and playing cards. nicci got drunk as fuck which was funnie as hell. had a sum captains, khlaua, pucker, hot damn 100p, most of which was taken in shots. it was a good time. nicci fuckin had to pee adn ended up pukin after she fell and we thought she fell in the tub. ended up finding her in the bathroom laying on the floor with her pants down. funniest shit ive ever seen. she'll never live that one down. was playin scategories or boulderdash sumthin like that and all i remember was "CAPA: what does it stand for? Crickets Are Personal Assets" .. lol just to tease her bout justin. shes so funnie when it comes to that kid. ended up stayin up till 6 in the mornin talkin to some random guy that had called me by dialing the wrong number. that was an intresting conversation. he was hard to understand tho. way too ghetto for my liking. he told me he was gonna by me a dictonary for "ghetto spoken languages" or something. Ebonics! it was funnie. had to wake up at 830 after sleepin 2 hours and go to the store meeting. that was great. nicci was hungover as all hell and i was dead tired. ended up not goin back to sleep till like 2am that night too. i think thats how i lost my voice cuz i can barely talk. i think its gettin better but everyone keeps tellin me i sound worse. oh well. hopefully its just from lack of sleep and not cuz im gettin sick cuz i dont want whatever it is that everyone in my house has.
got an app. for footaction that i need to turn in. i want to get a second job for a few so i can get my bills paid up and fuckin get my car fixed without having to be broke thru it all. they're lookin for a morning person and thats my off time. i only want a few days a week which should be bad. i think i can handle it. that job came up for city hall. i was suppose to go apply for it last week and never did. all i had to do was type more than 40wpm and i can definatly do alot more than that. it paid 12 sumthin an hour. dont know why i didnt take it but whatever. i liked where i was at while the job was available. kinda regret not takin it now. then again i dont know how much i would have liked workin at city hall having to dress up everyday and shit. thats just not my preference. at least at my job i can wear sweats if i want to. lol. yea im a real professional ::rolls eyes::
HmMm -- what else? ah, finally talked to chris. hes doin alright. alicia 'might' be pregnant again. hopefully not but hey if thats what they want im happy for them. that was like last week i talked to him and once again havent heard from him since. bobby ended up movin to laceys and i havent heard from him either. talked to kristina once and shes called a few other times but i never made it to callin her back. should get ahold of her sometime this week and see whats up or if shes talked to bobby. sean is on my nerves like usual. didnt call for awhile and now hes back to normal. i guess that nice time i spent without talkin to him he was in the hospital with nemonia but hes home now and back to being himself.
but im tired at staring at this screen so gimme a few weeks and i'll update again.
so walked into work on monday (this is last week im talkin) and paul gets off the phone and tells me 'someone ratted us out, scott knows' so im thinkin fuck what do we do now. he said not to be worried bout it this and that everything was goin to be fine. so then i walk in the back room and brandon was gettin ready to leave so i started talkin before he walked out. i asked him when he told scott cuz he was the only one that knew bout the 'situation' (too much to explain) and he was the one that wanted to tell scott i guess just outta hatred for paul. he didnt know what i was talkin bout so i explained it and he just looked at me kinda blankly. he said he didnt tell scott cuz he didnt know how to say sumthin without mention mine or anyone elses names and he didnt want to get us in trouble. so im thinkin well fuck who the hell knows if brandon didnt say anything. he was as lost as i was. the topic was dropped for the day. then i walk into work on tuesday and julie pulls me in the back room and tells me that scott fired paul that morning. i didnt even know what to say. i just stood there thinkin plz be jokin. never in this lifetime would i have expected to walk into work that day and hear that paul was gone. he was a great manager. he was a fuckin great guy at that. to get fired over some petty lil bullshit is just that -- bullshit. work hasnt been the same since then. linda is on a fuckin power trip and just on my last nerve. friday she had me honestly wanting to quit my job, and thats never crossed my mind before. earl is just the same - hes earl. oh and did i mention brandon is managment now? HA gotta love having a "thing" for your manager. thats an awkward situation but nonetheless the kid deserves it more than anyone in that place. he offically started today cuz he finished off the week as a stock guy just to save the hassel of fuckin with the schedule i guess. so i dont like work anymore and im still thinkin bout lookin for another job. i dont know tho. i guess we'll have to see what happens once everything falls into place. this week is kinda hectic cuz brandon is training so i close most the week with linda. tonite she wasnt as bad as friday but she still got on my damn nerves. i dont know what it is bout that lady but i really dont like her. brandon had nicci train him on register today. he was the cutest cashier id ever seen. lol. we had our store meetin sunday which went alright i guess. the majority of it was me nicci ty and chanie all arguing after everyone left. to this day nicci and chanie still arent seeing eye to eye. oh well tho what can ya do. finally taught jessica the floor tonite which wasnt the best experience but what can ya really due when the gurl just seems to be naturally dumb. i miss paul. nothing is the same anymore. even facing the store i cant help but think bout him and face to his liking even tho i know the next morning he wont be there to make sure we did good. "pull and face" right? ugh i just hope hes doing okay. he had a ruff start to a new year and it just seemed to get worse. i guess only time will tell huh.
so according to my last entry ashleigh wasnt moving anymore. that was a lie. today is offically a week since shes been gone. michelle kicked her out cuz they got into this huge fight. she left and went to martys for like a week and then went to FL to stay with her dad. that sunday was the worse day ever. spent like the whole day with her packin and went to dinner and shit. ive known the gurl for ten years and not once have i ever had to tell her goodbye for good until now. i miss her. i miss kiara. didnt even get to tell the baby goodbye cuz she was sleepin. cried when i hugged ash before she went back in the house. it was just blah. she was miserable the first half of the week being down there but she sounds like shes doing okay now. she got a job as a waitress and shit so hopefully things are gettin better. shes suppose to come up the 14th for a few days to get mann cuz he wants to be with kiara for her bday. i'll see her then but once she leaves i wont see her again till like april-may when we go down there. its not the same without her here. it sux. i still gotta go apply for the apartments we talked bout. when i get it, if i do, then shes gonna move back and live with me and nicci. theres a waiting list on gettin in tho so who knows when thats gonna happen. if it even does cuz i cant seem to catch the office when someone is there to get an app. i told my mom bout me gettin the apartment and she seemed straight bout it. then bryen and mandi made mention to it cuz my moms been talkin to them bout it and i guess shes under the impression ima support ash and the baby and thats not how it goes. if shes gonna live with me shes gonna keep a job. its part of life, she needs to learn that. i just want her here with us. mostly i wanna beable to see Kiara grow up instead of her being there and having the baby forget who i am. that would suck but in the same aspect i cant see her forgettin us. id hope not at least. ugh -- talkin is only makin me miss them more.
me and robbie arent talkin no more. he made that one offical. asshole. i miss him. ive been so tempted to call him lately but i dont want him to give me an attitude, that and i dont know how hed react. i caught him online like last week or something after not talkin to him for like a week and he made it clear he wanted me to move on and that he didnt want to talk to me no more. it was a blown out fight but whatever. i'll give him what he wants even if i dont approve. i miss him alot tho. i dont like not having him in my life. i know we're not together and shit anymore but we were talkin bout gettin back together and all this other shit and then one day he was just like goodbye. i hate it. what can ya really do tho ya kno. i was talkin to nicci tonite bout nick and told her how after me and robbie broke up in june i should have never let him back into my life. after that it was like we got along for a week or so and then from then on things were just shit. havent seem him in the longest time. one them things were ima end up forgetting what he looks like or something. im always thinkin bout him. like how would things have been if we were able to see each other more. would we still be together right now. would we still love each other just as much. i wonder whats its gonna be like if i ever run into him in the future too. is it gonna be nothing, like it was when i ran into eric at applebees when me ash and nicci went out to eat and i just smiled at him and kept walkin, or will we stop and talk for a minute. i wonder what he thinks. i wonder if he thinks bout me as much as i think of him or if he misses me as much as i miss him. i wonder if he still to this day blames me for everything that went wrong when sometimes it was his fault not mine even tho i ended up taking the blame for whatever it was. i wonder how long ima have it stuck in my head that i fuck up every relationship im in when in reality not everything has always been my fault. i dont know. its krazy how much thought goes into him sometimes. its krazy that i still feel guilty for us failing at being together when it takes two to be in a relationship....
saturday night was spent at mandis drinking and playing cards. nicci got drunk as fuck which was funnie as hell. had a sum captains, khlaua, pucker, hot damn 100p, most of which was taken in shots. it was a good time. nicci fuckin had to pee adn ended up pukin after she fell and we thought she fell in the tub. ended up finding her in the bathroom laying on the floor with her pants down. funniest shit ive ever seen. she'll never live that one down. was playin scategories or boulderdash sumthin like that and all i remember was "CAPA: what does it stand for? Crickets Are Personal Assets" .. lol just to tease her bout justin. shes so funnie when it comes to that kid. ended up stayin up till 6 in the mornin talkin to some random guy that had called me by dialing the wrong number. that was an intresting conversation. he was hard to understand tho. way too ghetto for my liking. he told me he was gonna by me a dictonary for "ghetto spoken languages" or something. Ebonics! it was funnie. had to wake up at 830 after sleepin 2 hours and go to the store meeting. that was great. nicci was hungover as all hell and i was dead tired. ended up not goin back to sleep till like 2am that night too. i think thats how i lost my voice cuz i can barely talk. i think its gettin better but everyone keeps tellin me i sound worse. oh well. hopefully its just from lack of sleep and not cuz im gettin sick cuz i dont want whatever it is that everyone in my house has.
got an app. for footaction that i need to turn in. i want to get a second job for a few so i can get my bills paid up and fuckin get my car fixed without having to be broke thru it all. they're lookin for a morning person and thats my off time. i only want a few days a week which should be bad. i think i can handle it. that job came up for city hall. i was suppose to go apply for it last week and never did. all i had to do was type more than 40wpm and i can definatly do alot more than that. it paid 12 sumthin an hour. dont know why i didnt take it but whatever. i liked where i was at while the job was available. kinda regret not takin it now. then again i dont know how much i would have liked workin at city hall having to dress up everyday and shit. thats just not my preference. at least at my job i can wear sweats if i want to. lol. yea im a real professional ::rolls eyes::
HmMm -- what else? ah, finally talked to chris. hes doin alright. alicia 'might' be pregnant again. hopefully not but hey if thats what they want im happy for them. that was like last week i talked to him and once again havent heard from him since. bobby ended up movin to laceys and i havent heard from him either. talked to kristina once and shes called a few other times but i never made it to callin her back. should get ahold of her sometime this week and see whats up or if shes talked to bobby. sean is on my nerves like usual. didnt call for awhile and now hes back to normal. i guess that nice time i spent without talkin to him he was in the hospital with nemonia but hes home now and back to being himself.
but im tired at staring at this screen so gimme a few weeks and i'll update again.