Part II...
This shell is still young. Nineteen, in fact, learning what it will to be successful for the Real World.
Um, newsflash: "real world", NUH-uh! That form is so last summer. Now, I am the intended backwash of life. My choice, my fate because of it. More like an "involuntary vow of poverty." Heh. What you have to lose to become Free; all that you must give up to become what you once were. I've started that.
This shell is steeped in Ego. It's very visage is all that it's family sees. And even now, I still cannot detach myself from thinking of "me" writing this entry. I cannot Feel, See, nor completely understand. For that, and my zeal to be more than myself, NOT for myself, are what drive me up the wall and ask, "Why not me?" In itself, the touch of the anointed. The gifted, the strong. Why have I not been able to Know beyond this mediocre "sense" I think I have? I don't know, and that's the whole thing.
It's not the fault of the time spent, nor my company, but just something I am missing that I cannot tell about my own circumstantial self. But, it just goes to show that those that want it, to DO with it, are not always given everything they "think they need".
Above a pupil, do I have another role in the greater scheme of the New World, and in Truth? Am I meant to be the "beacon" for those at the literal end of the tunnel, the end of all things? Does the Source of all things see me coming, or am I the one that must keep my vision peeled? I just want to know this...only this. And I would live and Be all the same, just with something to SHOOT FOR!
I am Demo, student of Neo, and a beacon in the dark...for those that care to open their Eyes...we are here! ::feel mildly better::
Um, newsflash: "real world", NUH-uh! That form is so last summer. Now, I am the intended backwash of life. My choice, my fate because of it. More like an "involuntary vow of poverty." Heh. What you have to lose to become Free; all that you must give up to become what you once were. I've started that.
This shell is steeped in Ego. It's very visage is all that it's family sees. And even now, I still cannot detach myself from thinking of "me" writing this entry. I cannot Feel, See, nor completely understand. For that, and my zeal to be more than myself, NOT for myself, are what drive me up the wall and ask, "Why not me?" In itself, the touch of the anointed. The gifted, the strong. Why have I not been able to Know beyond this mediocre "sense" I think I have? I don't know, and that's the whole thing.
It's not the fault of the time spent, nor my company, but just something I am missing that I cannot tell about my own circumstantial self. But, it just goes to show that those that want it, to DO with it, are not always given everything they "think they need".
Above a pupil, do I have another role in the greater scheme of the New World, and in Truth? Am I meant to be the "beacon" for those at the literal end of the tunnel, the end of all things? Does the Source of all things see me coming, or am I the one that must keep my vision peeled? I just want to know this...only this. And I would live and Be all the same, just with something to SHOOT FOR!
I am Demo, student of Neo, and a beacon in the dark...for those that care to open their Eyes...we are here! ::feel mildly better::