(no subject)
Fresh out of 4-day inpatient detox & a program....I have a good feeling this time. I really do. Hitting daily meetings after this and getting a psychiatric appointment set up, among other things.
They say the only thing you have to change is everything, and it's true. I'm going to have to learn how to live in a completely foreign manner, and have to start dealing with repressed feelings that I've covered for 5 years. It's a process, but I'm optimistic right now and dead serious about it. I saw some real, true sickness inside those clinical walls...places I've been and places I have yet to go, and it was scary but eye-opening.
But I'm not going to lie, I'm really scared. Those four days were so structured and therapeutic.....out here now I have to see my triggers again, and learn to manage my emotions and process them. There's also the increased pain level which should return to baseline in about a month, and I've got peripheral neuropathy in my hands which is a nerve condition from extended use that *should* go away, but it's not a guarantee. But one foot in front of the other a day at a time and things will start to change.
Cautious optimism.
They say the only thing you have to change is everything, and it's true. I'm going to have to learn how to live in a completely foreign manner, and have to start dealing with repressed feelings that I've covered for 5 years. It's a process, but I'm optimistic right now and dead serious about it. I saw some real, true sickness inside those clinical walls...places I've been and places I have yet to go, and it was scary but eye-opening.
But I'm not going to lie, I'm really scared. Those four days were so structured and therapeutic.....out here now I have to see my triggers again, and learn to manage my emotions and process them. There's also the increased pain level which should return to baseline in about a month, and I've got peripheral neuropathy in my hands which is a nerve condition from extended use that *should* go away, but it's not a guarantee. But one foot in front of the other a day at a time and things will start to change.
Cautious optimism.