come what may.
never knew I could feel like this. Like i've never seen the sky before, want to vanish inside your kiss and everyday i'll love you more and more.....but I love you until the end of time.
Richard and I broke up, correction I broke up with Richard. Why? I'm an idiot. But I needed it, I can't have someone around all the time. I need to learn to grow up by myself, I need to learn independance without the crutch of a boy around me. I feel like my heart has been poked with a needle a thousand times over, but I know it was suppose to happen. Do I feel as though he was the love of my life? I feel we could have in fact been happy for the longest time. Do I want to go back to him when i've grown up and learned what i've needed to, yes, in fact I want to run into his arms and cry my eyes out and tell him i'm an idiot. But it won't ever be the same, he'll remain paranoid he'll get worse and I won't be able to handle it. I'll make promises i'll never fulfill and i'll act like a stupid teenager. I won't lie to him and say i'm happy right now because i'm mostly not, but I am. I could care less about the other boys who have come to my attention. I just want you to come over and lay in my bed with me and let me smell you while I cry. But our relationship won't ever be the same..I sat outside of his house in my car like a retard. I know I love him, and if it was the real deal I know that after time that we decide to get back together then it was really something to begin with, it's worked that way with lots and lots of people and I have lots of growing up to do before i'm ready to try to make this work again. I love him.I love him.
Richard and I broke up, correction I broke up with Richard. Why? I'm an idiot. But I needed it, I can't have someone around all the time. I need to learn to grow up by myself, I need to learn independance without the crutch of a boy around me. I feel like my heart has been poked with a needle a thousand times over, but I know it was suppose to happen. Do I feel as though he was the love of my life? I feel we could have in fact been happy for the longest time. Do I want to go back to him when i've grown up and learned what i've needed to, yes, in fact I want to run into his arms and cry my eyes out and tell him i'm an idiot. But it won't ever be the same, he'll remain paranoid he'll get worse and I won't be able to handle it. I'll make promises i'll never fulfill and i'll act like a stupid teenager. I won't lie to him and say i'm happy right now because i'm mostly not, but I am. I could care less about the other boys who have come to my attention. I just want you to come over and lay in my bed with me and let me smell you while I cry. But our relationship won't ever be the same..I sat outside of his house in my car like a retard. I know I love him, and if it was the real deal I know that after time that we decide to get back together then it was really something to begin with, it's worked that way with lots and lots of people and I have lots of growing up to do before i'm ready to try to make this work again. I love him.I love him.