A look at my favorite porno.
A while back I was searching the seemingly limitless amounts of pornography on the internet. After downloading video after video after video, I came across a certain porno that struck my fancy, so much so, that I have deemed it my favorite adult movie of all time. It has everything anybody would want: sex, bondage, fetishes, money shots, gangbangs, hot lesbian action, blowjobs, threesomes, foursomes, fivesomes, sixsomes, muff diving, pornstars, double penetration, glory holes, ass to mouth, and an Xbox LAN party. This ultimate porno, the greatest of all time, is titled" Fallopian Invasion 2."
One of the great parts about this movie is its dynamic storyline. It follows three people and their adventures in Antarctica. The man of the group is a cosmonaut, while the other two women are a mime and a cyborg. Once the weather gets too cold outside, they decide to head Salad Toss Station. This is when the fun begins. Now because I'm posting this on a public web site, I have blurred only the most blatant examples of hardcore pornography in the video.
This is when the music starts to play. It sounds almost exactly like the theme to the old X-Men cartoon. In fact, I think it is because they left in the shooting and exploding sound effects in the song. The theme plays on a loop for the rest of the movie.
By now, everybody has taken their clothes off and are in the mood for some hot action. It only gets more and more arousing from here.
Suddenly, as the women engage in an oral cleansing of part of the cosmonaut's anatomy, a Lego Spiderman swoops out from nowhere. He says something to the camera, but it is spoken in ancient Sanskrit. Whatever it is sounds erotic, and probably has something to do with "web-slinging."
Soon the porn actors and actresses take a break to perform a segment of "Dancing With the Stars," where they are judged by penguins and an obviously drunk Al Pacino. Afterwards, they go back to the sex.
In a bizarre twist, the mime is brutally murdered on screen, replaced by the King of All Cosmos, complete an apparent sex change. Carmen Sandiego also appears briefly to plug her new computer game, "Where in the Hardcore Porno is Carmen Sandiego."
Around this time, we take a pause from the dirty sex to watch a five minute clip of "The Super Mario Brother Super Show." Mario believes he's a monkey, so Luigi calls Dr. Sigmund Fruitcake to cure him. Very arousing, if you're into that stuff.
After the short, things are hotter and dirtier than ever. I can't even explain it. This is all leading up to the climax for the movie. There's moaning, humping, screaming, and break dancing, up until the Green Ranger comes from out of nowhere.
He gets out his dagger/flute and plays a tune on it.
A megazord comes out of frozen arctic waters and walks into the room. After a quick money shot involving a particle accelerator, the megazord stomps around and destroys Salad Toss Station. And that's the end of the porno.
If you ever stumble across this gem of a movie, download it or buy it. The DVD comes with a seven-foot rubber dildo and a membership to the Church of Scientology. And coming this summer, Fallopian Invasion Episode 3: Revenge of the Syphilis.
One of the great parts about this movie is its dynamic storyline. It follows three people and their adventures in Antarctica. The man of the group is a cosmonaut, while the other two women are a mime and a cyborg. Once the weather gets too cold outside, they decide to head Salad Toss Station. This is when the fun begins. Now because I'm posting this on a public web site, I have blurred only the most blatant examples of hardcore pornography in the video.
This is when the music starts to play. It sounds almost exactly like the theme to the old X-Men cartoon. In fact, I think it is because they left in the shooting and exploding sound effects in the song. The theme plays on a loop for the rest of the movie.
By now, everybody has taken their clothes off and are in the mood for some hot action. It only gets more and more arousing from here.
Suddenly, as the women engage in an oral cleansing of part of the cosmonaut's anatomy, a Lego Spiderman swoops out from nowhere. He says something to the camera, but it is spoken in ancient Sanskrit. Whatever it is sounds erotic, and probably has something to do with "web-slinging."
Soon the porn actors and actresses take a break to perform a segment of "Dancing With the Stars," where they are judged by penguins and an obviously drunk Al Pacino. Afterwards, they go back to the sex.
In a bizarre twist, the mime is brutally murdered on screen, replaced by the King of All Cosmos, complete an apparent sex change. Carmen Sandiego also appears briefly to plug her new computer game, "Where in the Hardcore Porno is Carmen Sandiego."
Around this time, we take a pause from the dirty sex to watch a five minute clip of "The Super Mario Brother Super Show." Mario believes he's a monkey, so Luigi calls Dr. Sigmund Fruitcake to cure him. Very arousing, if you're into that stuff.
After the short, things are hotter and dirtier than ever. I can't even explain it. This is all leading up to the climax for the movie. There's moaning, humping, screaming, and break dancing, up until the Green Ranger comes from out of nowhere.
He gets out his dagger/flute and plays a tune on it.
A megazord comes out of frozen arctic waters and walks into the room. After a quick money shot involving a particle accelerator, the megazord stomps around and destroys Salad Toss Station. And that's the end of the porno.
If you ever stumble across this gem of a movie, download it or buy it. The DVD comes with a seven-foot rubber dildo and a membership to the Church of Scientology. And coming this summer, Fallopian Invasion Episode 3: Revenge of the Syphilis.