Life under the Powerlines
Well ladies and gents, I have just received another in the long line of strange thoughts and obscure reminisings of Tyler Voss, yes kids it's time once again for Life Under The Powerlines.
Good Morning All,
For those of you that are new to this, welcome to my Soapbox.. My own recurring forum to voice my opinion about what I see out in the world that has made me think and that I hope will encourage you to think. As always, the purpose of these engagements is not to make new enemies and end up with four million new death threats, but rather to promote discourse and debate in a world that seems to be more involved with yelling half-truths as opposed to voicing educated opinions. And as always, comments are not only welcome, but encouraged and appreciated. That being said, let's dim the lights, part the curtain, and hope the audience is listening.
Today's topic is probably going to get me in serious trouble. I have chosen to tackle a subject that is core down one of the most talked about, argued, discussed, and debated issues is America. I have finally chosen (at the threats and pleadings of my friends), to tackle gun control. But (and there always seems to be a but) I have decided to once again take an unconventional method in debating this aspect of the American political landscape.
April 20th 1999. Just another typical morning in the United States of America. Farmers in the Midwest did their chores, milkmen in the suburbs made their deliveries, the President bombed another country whose name we couldn't pronounce... and in a small suburb of Denver, Colorado, two boys went bowling at six in the morning. More on that later...
The second amendment to the United States Constitution states that "A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed." And in the 213 years since it's ratification, it has probably become the one amendment that has been most discussed and debated out of the entire document governing our country.
You see, Americans love guns. And I don't mean we like having them around, or looking at them in museums, we fucking LOVE them. Based on national statistics, one in every three houses owns some kind of a firearm, and out of those numbers 94% of those homes qualifies one of those weapons as a handgun. The largest seller of household goods in the United States (your friendly neighborhood Wal-Mart) has even dedicated a section of their store to the sale and maintenance of rifles and shotguns. Handguns are still taboo at Wallyworld, but just wait, we'll have it soon enough.
To explain how this has happened, let's take a look at a brief history of the U.S. Beginning long ago there were these people called Pilgrims, and they hated living in England so much that they jumped into a leaky boat and came over here. You see, they thought when they got here they wouldn't have to be scared all the time anymore, (apparently the English back then were freaky... and that's not even bringing up their dental program). But when they got here, they were greeted by 'horrible savages'. So they pulled out their guns and blew them all away. Now, you'd think that destroying an entire nation of people would make the Pilgrims safe and happy, but not for these guys. In 1774, they started shooting the British to capture their freedom and gain the right to pursue happiness. When they achieved that freedom, they were so happy with their guns that they even passed an amendment allowing all white males the right to keep and own weapons, and everybody was all "YEEEHAAAA", and "I loves my gun...... loves my gun.."
And after gaining their freedom, again you'd think that these people would have been happy and content to peacefully coexist. Wrong again, because pretty soon 1846 had rolled around and a man by the name of Samuel Colt invented the first gun that could be shot repeatedly without reloading after every shot. Soon after the following civil war and the ensuing emancipation, all of the scared white people had a reason to be REALLY scared. You see, those people that were brave enough to come over on leaky boats were great men. But they had one flaw: They were lazy and didn't want to work for themselves. So, they went over to Africa, loaded boats full of people and called them slaves. And these people worked for NO MONEY.. and I don't mean no money as is "I work at K-Mart and I make no money", I mean literally no money.
Doing this for around 200 years made the United States the richest country in the world, but once the slaves got freed all the former masters were scared shitless that they were going to die at the hands of their former slaves. So what did they do? Shortly after the civil war, they passed a law making it illegal for black people to own guns. Ironically this was one of the first examples of gun legislation. But that didn't matter, because most of the black people just wanted to set up their own lives, and do what the other people couldn't: coexist.
And guess what? The white people were so blown away (no pun intended) that they founded an organization called the Ku Klux Klan. And the same year that that organization was deemed an illegal terrorist organization (later rescinded) was also the same year that those white people formed another famous organization: The National Rifle Association. Ironic, huh? Two organizations founded in the same year one devoted to keeping guns in the hands of people, and one dedicated to lynching and killing black people. Of course these organizations had NOTHING to do with each other, and their founding was a complete COINCIDENCE, so everyone was ok.
So the white people should have been secure in their homes, right? Of course not you silly person, that would make sense. The got all scared again when a lady in the 1960's wouldn't give up her seat on the bus, and they started wigging out about equal rights which seemed like a normal thing to the black people, but the white people were thinking that they were losing control. So they moved to the suburbs, and bought a half a billion guns. They were installing home security systems, and putting bars on their windows, pretty soon they reached what for 200 years they had so desperately sought after: security. And they lived happily ever after.
Or did they?
Back to April 19th 1999. Remember those two kids that went bowling? They were normal honors students who were actually ditching their Easter Philosophies class. But they did go to school that day.
Their names were Eric Harris and Dylan Kleibold, and they were students at Columbine High School. Got your attention now, don't I?
13 students and 1 teacher were slaughtered and hundreds wounded when these two teenagers came in with enough firepower to hold the school hostage for over five hours. They had legally acquired all of the rounds of ammunition from a nearby K-Mart. The weapons themselves are said to have been purchased for the youths from local gun shows and trade expos.
How did these kids go wrong? The honest answer is I don't know. And the world never will. Unfortunately Eric and Dylan killed themselves before any of us could get answers. And that wasn't good enough for me...... I want answers. And for anyone who's read my column knows I find them. Usually at the expense of my backside, because I don't ask normal questions. I thought to myself, "Self, who do I need to talk to, out of every organization in the US and the billions of people in this country that'll satisfy my need to know what's wrong with us?" (I usually talk to myself like this, and that might explain why no one returns my calls anymore.)
After thinking about it, I decided that there were two organizations that had received the most spotlight attention and also the brunt of the blame. So I spent a weekend with a phone taped to my head talking to both sides of the spectrum. Yes folks, I called the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU), and the National Rifle Association (NRA).
And let me tell you this...... Never call either one of these organizations. And sure as hell don't mention me if you do. I think I've been blackballed from both organizations, and they're both currently plotting my demise. I can't imagine why, anyone that knows me knows I'm a wonderful person to have a political discussion with. (note the sarcasm)
I wanted information about these organizations first, and also how to join. They're two of the largest and most influential organizations in the United States, I was thinking I would find great houses of qualified capable people who were efficient in whatever their organization represents........... Now before you all choke on your tongues from laughing so hard, hear me out. I believe in America, but I also believe that if you join an organization, you should at least believe in what that organization is about and show some proficiency in the motivations therein. Boy was I stupid.
To join the NRA and the ACLU all you need is money. That's it. No proficiency in marksmanship or social education on civil liberties....just throw them some dough and their faces light up like Christmas trees. After being sadly disappointed by the membership requirements, I sought after my real task: getting the answers I wanted.
You see, I wanted to know if we were just gun crazy in America, or if we were just crazy. After Columbine, the NRA was blamed, the ACLU was blamed, even musician Marilyn Manson was blamed. But why didn't anyone blame bowling? Doesn't it make as much sense as blaming Marilyn Manson? And don't they bowl in other countries, like they do here? And isn't Germany the home of violent Goth music? Why are there so many gun murders here? I did some research and found out some interesting figures.
Japan:(home of most of the companies making violent video games): 39 gun deaths a year
Germany: (home of violent Goth music): 145 gun deaths a year
England: 58 gun deaths a year
Canada: 212 gun deaths a year
Australia: 95 gun deaths a year
And that brings us to the United States: 11,217 gun deaths a year.
Amazing isn't it? And we're the only country with a clause allowing gun ownership written into the document the governs our entire country! I pointed out these figures and facts to the rather pleasant lady Amy at the NRA and you could almost hear her jaw hit the floor. There was literally silence on the other end of the phone, before she turned rather curtly and said, "Well, that's not the NRA's fault. We do many things for the community."
Those things include holding a rally in Columbine a mere 10 days after the massacre. Charlton Heston (Moses himself) even showed up and used the immortal phrase "From my cold dead hands". Staging a rally in Flint, Michigan after a six year old boy shot and killed a six year old girl, making him the youngest murderer in the history of our country. And of course their push for gun legislation that will allow 'hunters' access to high caliber bullets that weren't even designed to hunt animals.
On the flipside, there's the ACLU, an organization that when pressed for information not only hung up on me (repeatedly), but failed to answer why they weren't doing anything about a bank in Michigan (I swear this place exists..it's called Town and Country bank) That offers a free gun simply for opening a CD account. There is a vault with over five hundred guns in it at any given time! Doesn't anyone else see the irony with getting a gun from a BANK?!
Face it folks, something is wrong in this country when we're overeager to label fast food as bad for you, but we're loathe to label child molesters. Believe me, things won't get better, until BOTH sides of the equation are willing to collectively drag their heads out of their asses and see how retarded we have become. Change starts small, but I think the greatest strides will be made when we stop thinking instantly of whom we should blame, and focus instead on how to prevent the problem in the first damn place. As always, that's just what I see, But I've been wrong before.
oh yeah and one other thing, this here is not intended to piss anyone off, if you can't take a joke, then please don't read this, for my sanity, if not yours.
Good Morning All,
For those of you that are new to this, welcome to my Soapbox.. My own recurring forum to voice my opinion about what I see out in the world that has made me think and that I hope will encourage you to think. As always, the purpose of these engagements is not to make new enemies and end up with four million new death threats, but rather to promote discourse and debate in a world that seems to be more involved with yelling half-truths as opposed to voicing educated opinions. And as always, comments are not only welcome, but encouraged and appreciated. That being said, let's dim the lights, part the curtain, and hope the audience is listening.
Today's topic is probably going to get me in serious trouble. I have chosen to tackle a subject that is core down one of the most talked about, argued, discussed, and debated issues is America. I have finally chosen (at the threats and pleadings of my friends), to tackle gun control. But (and there always seems to be a but) I have decided to once again take an unconventional method in debating this aspect of the American political landscape.
April 20th 1999. Just another typical morning in the United States of America. Farmers in the Midwest did their chores, milkmen in the suburbs made their deliveries, the President bombed another country whose name we couldn't pronounce... and in a small suburb of Denver, Colorado, two boys went bowling at six in the morning. More on that later...
The second amendment to the United States Constitution states that "A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed." And in the 213 years since it's ratification, it has probably become the one amendment that has been most discussed and debated out of the entire document governing our country.
You see, Americans love guns. And I don't mean we like having them around, or looking at them in museums, we fucking LOVE them. Based on national statistics, one in every three houses owns some kind of a firearm, and out of those numbers 94% of those homes qualifies one of those weapons as a handgun. The largest seller of household goods in the United States (your friendly neighborhood Wal-Mart) has even dedicated a section of their store to the sale and maintenance of rifles and shotguns. Handguns are still taboo at Wallyworld, but just wait, we'll have it soon enough.
To explain how this has happened, let's take a look at a brief history of the U.S. Beginning long ago there were these people called Pilgrims, and they hated living in England so much that they jumped into a leaky boat and came over here. You see, they thought when they got here they wouldn't have to be scared all the time anymore, (apparently the English back then were freaky... and that's not even bringing up their dental program). But when they got here, they were greeted by 'horrible savages'. So they pulled out their guns and blew them all away. Now, you'd think that destroying an entire nation of people would make the Pilgrims safe and happy, but not for these guys. In 1774, they started shooting the British to capture their freedom and gain the right to pursue happiness. When they achieved that freedom, they were so happy with their guns that they even passed an amendment allowing all white males the right to keep and own weapons, and everybody was all "YEEEHAAAA", and "I loves my gun...... loves my gun.."
And after gaining their freedom, again you'd think that these people would have been happy and content to peacefully coexist. Wrong again, because pretty soon 1846 had rolled around and a man by the name of Samuel Colt invented the first gun that could be shot repeatedly without reloading after every shot. Soon after the following civil war and the ensuing emancipation, all of the scared white people had a reason to be REALLY scared. You see, those people that were brave enough to come over on leaky boats were great men. But they had one flaw: They were lazy and didn't want to work for themselves. So, they went over to Africa, loaded boats full of people and called them slaves. And these people worked for NO MONEY.. and I don't mean no money as is "I work at K-Mart and I make no money", I mean literally no money.
Doing this for around 200 years made the United States the richest country in the world, but once the slaves got freed all the former masters were scared shitless that they were going to die at the hands of their former slaves. So what did they do? Shortly after the civil war, they passed a law making it illegal for black people to own guns. Ironically this was one of the first examples of gun legislation. But that didn't matter, because most of the black people just wanted to set up their own lives, and do what the other people couldn't: coexist.
And guess what? The white people were so blown away (no pun intended) that they founded an organization called the Ku Klux Klan. And the same year that that organization was deemed an illegal terrorist organization (later rescinded) was also the same year that those white people formed another famous organization: The National Rifle Association. Ironic, huh? Two organizations founded in the same year one devoted to keeping guns in the hands of people, and one dedicated to lynching and killing black people. Of course these organizations had NOTHING to do with each other, and their founding was a complete COINCIDENCE, so everyone was ok.
So the white people should have been secure in their homes, right? Of course not you silly person, that would make sense. The got all scared again when a lady in the 1960's wouldn't give up her seat on the bus, and they started wigging out about equal rights which seemed like a normal thing to the black people, but the white people were thinking that they were losing control. So they moved to the suburbs, and bought a half a billion guns. They were installing home security systems, and putting bars on their windows, pretty soon they reached what for 200 years they had so desperately sought after: security. And they lived happily ever after.
Or did they?
Back to April 19th 1999. Remember those two kids that went bowling? They were normal honors students who were actually ditching their Easter Philosophies class. But they did go to school that day.
Their names were Eric Harris and Dylan Kleibold, and they were students at Columbine High School. Got your attention now, don't I?
13 students and 1 teacher were slaughtered and hundreds wounded when these two teenagers came in with enough firepower to hold the school hostage for over five hours. They had legally acquired all of the rounds of ammunition from a nearby K-Mart. The weapons themselves are said to have been purchased for the youths from local gun shows and trade expos.
How did these kids go wrong? The honest answer is I don't know. And the world never will. Unfortunately Eric and Dylan killed themselves before any of us could get answers. And that wasn't good enough for me...... I want answers. And for anyone who's read my column knows I find them. Usually at the expense of my backside, because I don't ask normal questions. I thought to myself, "Self, who do I need to talk to, out of every organization in the US and the billions of people in this country that'll satisfy my need to know what's wrong with us?" (I usually talk to myself like this, and that might explain why no one returns my calls anymore.)
After thinking about it, I decided that there were two organizations that had received the most spotlight attention and also the brunt of the blame. So I spent a weekend with a phone taped to my head talking to both sides of the spectrum. Yes folks, I called the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU), and the National Rifle Association (NRA).
And let me tell you this...... Never call either one of these organizations. And sure as hell don't mention me if you do. I think I've been blackballed from both organizations, and they're both currently plotting my demise. I can't imagine why, anyone that knows me knows I'm a wonderful person to have a political discussion with. (note the sarcasm)
I wanted information about these organizations first, and also how to join. They're two of the largest and most influential organizations in the United States, I was thinking I would find great houses of qualified capable people who were efficient in whatever their organization represents........... Now before you all choke on your tongues from laughing so hard, hear me out. I believe in America, but I also believe that if you join an organization, you should at least believe in what that organization is about and show some proficiency in the motivations therein. Boy was I stupid.
To join the NRA and the ACLU all you need is money. That's it. No proficiency in marksmanship or social education on civil liberties....just throw them some dough and their faces light up like Christmas trees. After being sadly disappointed by the membership requirements, I sought after my real task: getting the answers I wanted.
You see, I wanted to know if we were just gun crazy in America, or if we were just crazy. After Columbine, the NRA was blamed, the ACLU was blamed, even musician Marilyn Manson was blamed. But why didn't anyone blame bowling? Doesn't it make as much sense as blaming Marilyn Manson? And don't they bowl in other countries, like they do here? And isn't Germany the home of violent Goth music? Why are there so many gun murders here? I did some research and found out some interesting figures.
Japan:(home of most of the companies making violent video games): 39 gun deaths a year
Germany: (home of violent Goth music): 145 gun deaths a year
England: 58 gun deaths a year
Canada: 212 gun deaths a year
Australia: 95 gun deaths a year
And that brings us to the United States: 11,217 gun deaths a year.
Amazing isn't it? And we're the only country with a clause allowing gun ownership written into the document the governs our entire country! I pointed out these figures and facts to the rather pleasant lady Amy at the NRA and you could almost hear her jaw hit the floor. There was literally silence on the other end of the phone, before she turned rather curtly and said, "Well, that's not the NRA's fault. We do many things for the community."
Those things include holding a rally in Columbine a mere 10 days after the massacre. Charlton Heston (Moses himself) even showed up and used the immortal phrase "From my cold dead hands". Staging a rally in Flint, Michigan after a six year old boy shot and killed a six year old girl, making him the youngest murderer in the history of our country. And of course their push for gun legislation that will allow 'hunters' access to high caliber bullets that weren't even designed to hunt animals.
On the flipside, there's the ACLU, an organization that when pressed for information not only hung up on me (repeatedly), but failed to answer why they weren't doing anything about a bank in Michigan (I swear this place exists..it's called Town and Country bank) That offers a free gun simply for opening a CD account. There is a vault with over five hundred guns in it at any given time! Doesn't anyone else see the irony with getting a gun from a BANK?!
Face it folks, something is wrong in this country when we're overeager to label fast food as bad for you, but we're loathe to label child molesters. Believe me, things won't get better, until BOTH sides of the equation are willing to collectively drag their heads out of their asses and see how retarded we have become. Change starts small, but I think the greatest strides will be made when we stop thinking instantly of whom we should blame, and focus instead on how to prevent the problem in the first damn place. As always, that's just what I see, But I've been wrong before.
oh yeah and one other thing, this here is not intended to piss anyone off, if you can't take a joke, then please don't read this, for my sanity, if not yours.