To my Alan
You were one of my most precious friends. A person I always thought would be around. You always have been around. I don't know what we'll do without you. You completed this group of soulmates. I just wish we could of had one last conversation beforehand. I know I never could of stopped this thing that you were so intent on doing. And that's the hardest part of it. This is what you wanted. I miss you, my love, my beautiful friend, part of my soul. Everytime I think about it, my heart physically aches. It literally is breaking, Alan.
I keep watching the video we made just to hear that laugh. Just to see you look at the camera with those eyes. Eyes I should of read better. Always such a mystery. Still a mystery and forever you will be one, my dear. I called you today just to hear your voice on the greeting of your voicemail. I kept hoping you'd answer...you said you'd call me back if I left a message...but, I know that you won't. Can't call me back. I hope you're okay.
Thanks for the words you left behind. I find some comfort in them, at least. Even in the most selfish act, you thought of all of us and made sure we knew you loved us. And you know we loved you. You knew the exact questions we'd ask, and you answered them all. Except the one about why? You forgot to answer that one for us. Or maybe you gave us a lot of credit to figure it out?
I loved you more than I could ever express to you. That is my only regret. Not telling you enough how much you've meant to me since the first day I met you in high school. I knew you were special from that first time you offered me pizza at lunch. That last day of school my junior year, we went to chili's, where I first swooned over you. The first time you ever came to my house, I jumped up and down like a little girl. I couldn't believe I was so lucky to have a guest that was so amazing.
And the boy I knew then became a man who is one of my best friends. I never stopped feeling what I felt that first day. I felt so happy, so thrilled, so overjoyed everytime I got to be around you. Some would say that is infatuation. It never went away, though. I was infatuated with your friendship. Obsessed with who you were. I always felt so lucky to have someone like you in my life. Not many people can be so close to someone so unique and genuine.
I still feel so lucky, Alan. I got to know you in this life when many people never even know a soul like yours. And this will never take that away from me. Your impact will be felt forever. And part of my heart will be lost forever with you. But I'm glad you have that part. You have a piece from all of us. I love you forever and I can only hope that we will be together again. I hope you found all the answers you needed to those questions that tormented your soul. I'll never stop talking to you. And I know you'll never stop listening.
RIP 4-22-2006 I'll never forget you
I keep watching the video we made just to hear that laugh. Just to see you look at the camera with those eyes. Eyes I should of read better. Always such a mystery. Still a mystery and forever you will be one, my dear. I called you today just to hear your voice on the greeting of your voicemail. I kept hoping you'd answer...you said you'd call me back if I left a message...but, I know that you won't. Can't call me back. I hope you're okay.
Thanks for the words you left behind. I find some comfort in them, at least. Even in the most selfish act, you thought of all of us and made sure we knew you loved us. And you know we loved you. You knew the exact questions we'd ask, and you answered them all. Except the one about why? You forgot to answer that one for us. Or maybe you gave us a lot of credit to figure it out?
I loved you more than I could ever express to you. That is my only regret. Not telling you enough how much you've meant to me since the first day I met you in high school. I knew you were special from that first time you offered me pizza at lunch. That last day of school my junior year, we went to chili's, where I first swooned over you. The first time you ever came to my house, I jumped up and down like a little girl. I couldn't believe I was so lucky to have a guest that was so amazing.
And the boy I knew then became a man who is one of my best friends. I never stopped feeling what I felt that first day. I felt so happy, so thrilled, so overjoyed everytime I got to be around you. Some would say that is infatuation. It never went away, though. I was infatuated with your friendship. Obsessed with who you were. I always felt so lucky to have someone like you in my life. Not many people can be so close to someone so unique and genuine.
I still feel so lucky, Alan. I got to know you in this life when many people never even know a soul like yours. And this will never take that away from me. Your impact will be felt forever. And part of my heart will be lost forever with you. But I'm glad you have that part. You have a piece from all of us. I love you forever and I can only hope that we will be together again. I hope you found all the answers you needed to those questions that tormented your soul. I'll never stop talking to you. And I know you'll never stop listening.
RIP 4-22-2006 I'll never forget you