Shopping , shading into Wibbling as it tends to do
It is May. I like May. I think May quite likes me. It's hot, but not stiflingly hot. It just feels... good. It is that partly-in-the-bones and partly-in-the-mind feeling of rightness, quite similar to looking at or being on the sea.
Last night I had a dream about shoe shopping. There was a pair of sensible-ish shoes and a pair of pretty boots and they were like £150 each and I bought them both anyway. And then I was dangerously close to the kind of overdrawn where the bank charge you monies but it was a dream so there were no consequences except that I had pretty boots and everyone said how pretty my boots were.
I'm having the urge to go Camden shopping. We should go. I don't mind window-shopping - I'm not very good at handing over monies for the things I really want even if I have the monies so it won't make much difference if I'm actually Not Buying Anything. And then cottonwoolfairy can buy those Fableses and then we can read them. We should get out of bed and go the Tuesday after next. Because we have sleeping til noon and then finishing Life on Mars scheduled for this Tuesday. But next Tuesday we should go to Camden. And I will not buy goth shoes or red leather jackets or chinese silk corsets or Absolute Sandmen just like I have not bought them every time we've been to Camden for the last x years.
I really would quite like a red leather jacket. It is random and specific but just appeals to me. I have been putting off getting one because of a) the broke and b) the fact that if I buy one in a size that fits now I might end up with a baggy red leather jacket sometime in the future and that would be a shame and a slight waste of money. Note this doesn't just go against all the common sense that we know about how not to think about weightloss, it is a thing that I have several pieces of paper from weightwatchers actively telling me not to do. They are all about celebrating what you look like now and not denying yourself stuff, the theory being that rampant consumerism is ever so slightly less bad for you than overeating.
Oh, but it's been... I think it might have been two whole months since I last went to a meeting. I need to go back. I want to go back. I will probably have to re-register and honestly that might be a good thing. I think I didn't want it enough to stick with it. But I do want it. Moreover I want to fix some of my other crappy habits and I suspect there's a brain-switch in there that I found last time and it made things work and I could use it again if I could figure out which fuse it was that blew... I know nothing about electricity so that might be a terrible metaphor but I know what I mean.
Hmm. There's a meeting that's not the same as the one I was going to last time, on a different day, in a place that is closer to here. I might swap. I feel odd about swapping because I've got to know people from the Wednesday group and I feel slightly like I'm abandoning them. But it might help not to have to walk to CUFOS, and also not to have the choice of meeting time - it's 7pm or nothing. And since I have to be in Muswell Hill on Fridays anyway it feels like making the committment to be here on Thursday evening is less faffy than Wednesdays.
Also I feel that it is not coincidental that it was almost exactly two years ago I picked myself up and went for the first time. I don't remember what the date was, but I do know it was May. Good old May.
Last night I had a dream about shoe shopping. There was a pair of sensible-ish shoes and a pair of pretty boots and they were like £150 each and I bought them both anyway. And then I was dangerously close to the kind of overdrawn where the bank charge you monies but it was a dream so there were no consequences except that I had pretty boots and everyone said how pretty my boots were.
I'm having the urge to go Camden shopping. We should go. I don't mind window-shopping - I'm not very good at handing over monies for the things I really want even if I have the monies so it won't make much difference if I'm actually Not Buying Anything. And then cottonwoolfairy can buy those Fableses and then we can read them. We should get out of bed and go the Tuesday after next. Because we have sleeping til noon and then finishing Life on Mars scheduled for this Tuesday. But next Tuesday we should go to Camden. And I will not buy goth shoes or red leather jackets or chinese silk corsets or Absolute Sandmen just like I have not bought them every time we've been to Camden for the last x years.
I really would quite like a red leather jacket. It is random and specific but just appeals to me. I have been putting off getting one because of a) the broke and b) the fact that if I buy one in a size that fits now I might end up with a baggy red leather jacket sometime in the future and that would be a shame and a slight waste of money. Note this doesn't just go against all the common sense that we know about how not to think about weightloss, it is a thing that I have several pieces of paper from weightwatchers actively telling me not to do. They are all about celebrating what you look like now and not denying yourself stuff, the theory being that rampant consumerism is ever so slightly less bad for you than overeating.
Oh, but it's been... I think it might have been two whole months since I last went to a meeting. I need to go back. I want to go back. I will probably have to re-register and honestly that might be a good thing. I think I didn't want it enough to stick with it. But I do want it. Moreover I want to fix some of my other crappy habits and I suspect there's a brain-switch in there that I found last time and it made things work and I could use it again if I could figure out which fuse it was that blew... I know nothing about electricity so that might be a terrible metaphor but I know what I mean.
Hmm. There's a meeting that's not the same as the one I was going to last time, on a different day, in a place that is closer to here. I might swap. I feel odd about swapping because I've got to know people from the Wednesday group and I feel slightly like I'm abandoning them. But it might help not to have to walk to CUFOS, and also not to have the choice of meeting time - it's 7pm or nothing. And since I have to be in Muswell Hill on Fridays anyway it feels like making the committment to be here on Thursday evening is less faffy than Wednesdays.
Also I feel that it is not coincidental that it was almost exactly two years ago I picked myself up and went for the first time. I don't remember what the date was, but I do know it was May. Good old May.