Christmas!
Merry Christmas everybody! I have given and recieved many presents of much joy (one thing each my arse, heheh, I love my family). There is tunis cake and coffee and we watched Narnia at 9 o clock in the morning and it is all good. There is a hunk of beef (that weighs 11lbs and is about the size of my fat cat Alfie) sitting in the fridge, and Dr Who, Vicar of Dibley, Creature Comforts and possibly also Hogfather to look forward to later.
Out of interest, I read a very short Guardian review of Hogfather that said it was rubbish because Pterry had been too heavily involved and not enough had been cut out. Sounds like a good thing to me! Will report back with own judgements when we get round to watching it.
And now, a short QI-inspired Christmas musing, starring Lucy and Jesus*:
Happy Birthday to You.
‘Close your eyes,’ Lucy said, sitting in Jesus’ lap. He raised his eyebrows at her. ‘Go on, close your eyes.’ He did so. Something square, smooth and papery was pressed into his hands. He opened his eyes. It was a present, wrapped in silver paper and decorated with a shiny blue ribbon.
‘Happy birthday darling,’ Lucy said.
‘You remembered!’ Jesus leant up and kissed her.
‘I know it’s not traditional,’ she said, ‘But I thought, why not?’ He grinned at her, and they both looked out of the sitting room window at the street outside - the flowers in full bloom, the swallows flitting happily through the leafy trees, and the midsummer sun beating down on the pavement. Then Lucy watched Jesus open his present.
‘Ooooh!’ he cried. ‘A watch - oh that’s gorgeous, thank you - oh, and…’ he pulled out the jar that had been hidden under the watch wrapping and broke into a broad grin. ‘Oh, Lucy. Zaytoun Organic Palestinian Olives!’
‘Genuine Earth-grown,’ Lucy smiled proudly. ‘I went down myself.’
‘I love you,’ Jesus said, and carefully put his presents aside before pulling her into another kiss. ‘I don’t remember telling you the date, though,’ he added.
‘You didn’t,’ said Lucy. ‘I had to call in a couple of favours from Metatron - you wouldn’t believe how difficult it is for Lucifer to get in to visit the Virgin Mary, even when I’m really me and she’s really her. The red tape was a bloody nightmare.’ Jesus laughed.
‘She probably would have pulled strings from her end if she’d known. She’s always liked you,’ he said.
‘I like her, very much. It’s a shame we don’t see her more often. Speaking of which, she’s expecting you up for tea at 4:30. She says you have to bring her a piece of the cake.’ Jesus’ face lit up.
‘There’s cake?’
‘And ice cream.’
‘I love you.’
*if there are new flisters about - yuh huh, Jesus. I do love me some blasphemy. When White City is published there will be a foreword/apology to all the religions whose figureheads I have used to my own twisted ends. It will be very, very long.
Out of interest, I read a very short Guardian review of Hogfather that said it was rubbish because Pterry had been too heavily involved and not enough had been cut out. Sounds like a good thing to me! Will report back with own judgements when we get round to watching it.
And now, a short QI-inspired Christmas musing, starring Lucy and Jesus*:
Happy Birthday to You.
‘Close your eyes,’ Lucy said, sitting in Jesus’ lap. He raised his eyebrows at her. ‘Go on, close your eyes.’ He did so. Something square, smooth and papery was pressed into his hands. He opened his eyes. It was a present, wrapped in silver paper and decorated with a shiny blue ribbon.
‘Happy birthday darling,’ Lucy said.
‘You remembered!’ Jesus leant up and kissed her.
‘I know it’s not traditional,’ she said, ‘But I thought, why not?’ He grinned at her, and they both looked out of the sitting room window at the street outside - the flowers in full bloom, the swallows flitting happily through the leafy trees, and the midsummer sun beating down on the pavement. Then Lucy watched Jesus open his present.
‘Ooooh!’ he cried. ‘A watch - oh that’s gorgeous, thank you - oh, and…’ he pulled out the jar that had been hidden under the watch wrapping and broke into a broad grin. ‘Oh, Lucy. Zaytoun Organic Palestinian Olives!’
‘Genuine Earth-grown,’ Lucy smiled proudly. ‘I went down myself.’
‘I love you,’ Jesus said, and carefully put his presents aside before pulling her into another kiss. ‘I don’t remember telling you the date, though,’ he added.
‘You didn’t,’ said Lucy. ‘I had to call in a couple of favours from Metatron - you wouldn’t believe how difficult it is for Lucifer to get in to visit the Virgin Mary, even when I’m really me and she’s really her. The red tape was a bloody nightmare.’ Jesus laughed.
‘She probably would have pulled strings from her end if she’d known. She’s always liked you,’ he said.
‘I like her, very much. It’s a shame we don’t see her more often. Speaking of which, she’s expecting you up for tea at 4:30. She says you have to bring her a piece of the cake.’ Jesus’ face lit up.
‘There’s cake?’
‘And ice cream.’
‘I love you.’
*if there are new flisters about - yuh huh, Jesus. I do love me some blasphemy. When White City is published there will be a foreword/apology to all the religions whose figureheads I have used to my own twisted ends. It will be very, very long.