please, no more
i cant keep pretending everything is ok.
my dad just caught me smoking pot and he doesnt even care. thats when you know you are invisible.
I have tried so hard to get a bit of their attention, even if it is bad, and i cant. i am unloved. An unloved child is damned from the start. I am crazy. Crazy from loneliness and lack of love or trust. i have a lack of my mother cradeling me when i hurt my knee, telling me it will be ok. I can't cry or show emotion in front of my parents. When i lose weight, they dont even notice and even tell me i need to get rid of pudge. I cant love or trust anyone because i dont know how to do it. I wish i was dead every single day. I cry in my head all the time. i cant do this anymore. I've tried god. I've tried drugs. I've tried everything. How can i make someone love me? Like, really love me. I need someone who will hold me while i cry and tell me its ok. I need someone who will kill me so i dont have to go on like this anymore. i have no future and my past is fucked up.
i need so much and no one can give it to me (and its no ones fault but my parents, so dont feel like you- whoever is reading this- is to blame.)
if something happens, i want everyone to know that i love them and im sorry i have been such a dissappointment. i cant ever be perfect. sorry.
my dad just caught me smoking pot and he doesnt even care. thats when you know you are invisible.
I have tried so hard to get a bit of their attention, even if it is bad, and i cant. i am unloved. An unloved child is damned from the start. I am crazy. Crazy from loneliness and lack of love or trust. i have a lack of my mother cradeling me when i hurt my knee, telling me it will be ok. I can't cry or show emotion in front of my parents. When i lose weight, they dont even notice and even tell me i need to get rid of pudge. I cant love or trust anyone because i dont know how to do it. I wish i was dead every single day. I cry in my head all the time. i cant do this anymore. I've tried god. I've tried drugs. I've tried everything. How can i make someone love me? Like, really love me. I need someone who will hold me while i cry and tell me its ok. I need someone who will kill me so i dont have to go on like this anymore. i have no future and my past is fucked up.
i need so much and no one can give it to me (and its no ones fault but my parents, so dont feel like you- whoever is reading this- is to blame.)
if something happens, i want everyone to know that i love them and im sorry i have been such a dissappointment. i cant ever be perfect. sorry.