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So, this weekend has opened and closed a few doors in my life. But it also made me realize how big my house really is (in connection with opening and closing doors.) Anyhow. Theres a lot of things I want to change. There are also a lot of things that I want to keep the same.
1. I just want to thank all my friends for this weekend. You guys are amazing and I dont know what I would do without you! (Even though we start drama and all that nonsense. thanks for putting up with my crap) Friends make it totally worth living sometimes. I know i could call on a few people and they would be behind me no matter what.
2. I realized that its not worth doing that whole "if you dont see yourself marrying this person dump him" It doesnt matter weather you think you could spend the rest of your life with that person. We are right out of high school. Our life is just beginning. Why are we going to put so much energy into finding our soulmate? Our Penguin (side note for anyone that doesnt know, penguins go their entires lives with just one soul mate, and they stay with them forever) Lifes too short to be worrying about waht is going to happen way in the future. What really matters is right now. i think i just realized that i need to be happy right now. I might die tomorrow, so does it matter whether ive found my future husband or not. On the other side of that, I think that if you dont love (or really like depending on the amount of time and energy youve put into it) that person its not worth wasting your time. (BTW, lately ive put way toooo much thought into this, too much energy worrying about the rest of my life.) (another side note, Ive watched too many sappy love stories lately that why i think about it all the time) I just want to be in love. right now. not worried about later.
3.Forget people who talk behind your back. Its the people who say stuff to your face who sometimes end up being the ones that really care about you. I hate when people talk trash about other people. Stop worrying about other peoples lives and worry about your own. (Everyone at one point is guilty of this, even me so i cant say a whole lot) But I just hate being behind the sences and having to clean up the peices of some peoples ignorance.
4.I think we all need to live out in the woods for a while or go live on the beach, anywhere really away from society. I dont think ive ever felt more in touch with the world and with god then when im not in everyday life. When you watch stars and when you go hang out down by the lake and just read or think about life, those are the most peaceful times. Thats why I really just want to go be a missionary somewhere far away and help people, and then maybe they can have the same peace i can by sharing God ya know?.
5. sometimes lifes too short not to call into work. I think sometimes, for me at least i need to do whats not expected of me just to make my brain level again. ya know make me remember why i dont do certian things. Im not sure if this make sense for you guys or not but if you ask me about ill be sure to explain it more thouroughly.
6.I want to start doing selfless stuff. ya know like volenteering and stuff. random act of kindness. It makes me think positivily.
7. I want to be positive about things (i knoww some of you know ive been trying to work on that lately)
8. I need to work on more art and stuff. i dont draw enough.
thats enough crap for one night. sorry i wasted your time by reading this. <3sam