shoot me
i fuckin hate this journal i jus typed a really long fuckin update and it didn't go through. lj blows. im stickin to greatest journal. well anyways here we go again. today sucked. i was supposed to go to lunch with duane and it didn't work and i was also supposed to go see dodgeball with rochelle but i guess she didn't want to go or something. then she was sayin she was tired so i went home. i stopped by work to get some food then i got home and then i figured i would get some sleep cause i had nothin better to do but when i finally fell asleep my mom woke me up for nothin. im gettin depressed again. i really hate feeling this way. i got too much shit on my mind. and i couldn't even begin to explain any of it. i dont even knos what triggers it but it happens all the time and i hate it. no one knows about anything thats botherin me and i dont think i could tell anyone because i think it would just make matters worse. its like i have no one to talk to. i cant tell my mom cause theres nothin she can do to help and i cant tell my friends cause i dont think it will get me anywhere. i dont even kno how to explain it. things will be good for like a day or two then something happens and i feel like this again. i think i would be better off not updating anymore because 9 times out of 10 its all negative and im sure the few people that read my journal are gettin tired of hearin the same shit over and over. well i hate feeling like this over and over. i asked my mom to put me on anti-depressents but she said that they would hurt me more then they would help me. i gotta do something. anything. well nothin else to say bye