I was always one of those people who appreciated the option of abortion, have provided financial and emotional assistance to people who have had them, but did not think I could get one myself.
Last month caused me to do some serious thinking about that. I didn't use protection once during E's visit in Feb. Why should I? We're clean, and our previous methods of birth control had worked in the past. In addition, (I know my cycle very well) I was scheduled to get my period the day after he left. And I did.
Two weeks later I start bleeding for no reason. A little pain in my lower back, period-like; but the flow was really abnormal, I'm NOT supposed to be getting my period, and there's a dark, blobby, viscuous thing in the discharge. (Sorry TMI, but this is important.)
Basically, all people I've talked to said I miscarried. Before that happened, it never even occurred to me I was pregnant. I could go into the semantics about how and why I physically should not have gotten pregnant, how the egg would have been starved anyway due to my eariler period, but the fact is, if I hadn't miscarried there's not a chance in hell I would have carried that fetus to term. Not at this point in my life, and not when I know my partner is as afraid of spawining as I am. Would I have felt bad about it? Almost certainly. Fortunately, life isn't based on what-ifs and I was spared having to confront that choice.
True, I would have avoided a clinical "abortion" unless everything else failed, first using herbs and other stuff, but the action is the same. Fortunately I have herbalist/naturalist friends with experience. Most people don't. Not only is denying the option of control over one's body politically oppressive and dangerously demoralizing to entire populations, it is physically unsafe as well. History has taught us all of this.
I don't know exactly why I just wrote all that. Maybe I just needed to get it off my chest.
Last month caused me to do some serious thinking about that. I didn't use protection once during E's visit in Feb. Why should I? We're clean, and our previous methods of birth control had worked in the past. In addition, (I know my cycle very well) I was scheduled to get my period the day after he left. And I did.
Two weeks later I start bleeding for no reason. A little pain in my lower back, period-like; but the flow was really abnormal, I'm NOT supposed to be getting my period, and there's a dark, blobby, viscuous thing in the discharge. (Sorry TMI, but this is important.)
Basically, all people I've talked to said I miscarried. Before that happened, it never even occurred to me I was pregnant. I could go into the semantics about how and why I physically should not have gotten pregnant, how the egg would have been starved anyway due to my eariler period, but the fact is, if I hadn't miscarried there's not a chance in hell I would have carried that fetus to term. Not at this point in my life, and not when I know my partner is as afraid of spawining as I am. Would I have felt bad about it? Almost certainly. Fortunately, life isn't based on what-ifs and I was spared having to confront that choice.
True, I would have avoided a clinical "abortion" unless everything else failed, first using herbs and other stuff, but the action is the same. Fortunately I have herbalist/naturalist friends with experience. Most people don't. Not only is denying the option of control over one's body politically oppressive and dangerously demoralizing to entire populations, it is physically unsafe as well. History has taught us all of this.
I don't know exactly why I just wrote all that. Maybe I just needed to get it off my chest.
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