How we change because of the people we love.
When people fantasize about their dream relationship, I often hear that they want someone who will let them be exactly who they are right now and not change them. In a lot of ways I think that's a pipe dream, unrealistic. I don't mean to burst anyone's bubble, but I'm pretty sure that's not how relationships work.
I don't claim to be an expert, I'm just working on observations I've made about people and being in any kind of relationship with someone requires that one make space and time for a person in their lives. Whether that's mental space and minimal time or literal living space and a bigger investment of time, being with someone takes work.
Just speaking from personal experience with my marriage, I literally wouldn't be the person I am now if Toto hadn't been in my life. It's partially from things I learned from him and about myself, partially from just having to accommodate having a person in my life, and even partially from changes I made for him. I know it's not a very popular idea, changing yourself or trying to change your partner to fit you, and I certainly don't think it's something one should try to do, but realistically it just ends up happening.
I think one of the gauges of the worth of a relationship is looking at the changes happening and taking stock of whether they are good healthy changes or not.
Random thoughts of today.
I don't claim to be an expert, I'm just working on observations I've made about people and being in any kind of relationship with someone requires that one make space and time for a person in their lives. Whether that's mental space and minimal time or literal living space and a bigger investment of time, being with someone takes work.
Just speaking from personal experience with my marriage, I literally wouldn't be the person I am now if Toto hadn't been in my life. It's partially from things I learned from him and about myself, partially from just having to accommodate having a person in my life, and even partially from changes I made for him. I know it's not a very popular idea, changing yourself or trying to change your partner to fit you, and I certainly don't think it's something one should try to do, but realistically it just ends up happening.
I think one of the gauges of the worth of a relationship is looking at the changes happening and taking stock of whether they are good healthy changes or not.
Random thoughts of today.